My boyfriend is so boring
We’ve been together 5 years now and living together for 2. I love him and want to be with him but I feel like he’s dragging me down. He has a lot of issues with himself and never wants to go out or do anything. I want to get out there and see the world - or at least go to a new restaurant once in a while but he won’t. If it involves leaving the house he isn’t interested. Sometimes I can drag him out but he just seems like he’s waiting to go home again. He’s lost touch with all his friends, they even ring him and I try and get him to arrange to see them but nope. All he does is work and then come home and sit in front of the TV, he doesn’t seem to want any more from life?! I want to go on adventures and make memories, but it feels like we’re living the same day over and over.
When we met he was a different person, I know he probably is experiencing some sort of depression but he doesn’t seem to have any drive to do something about it.
Lately I’ve been considering giving him an ultimatum but I don’t know if that would be a bit harsh? I honestly feel like our lives are being wasted waiting for him to suddenly get the urge to do something.
When we met he was a different person, I know he probably is experiencing some sort of depression but he doesn’t seem to have any drive to do something about it.
Lately I’ve been considering giving him an ultimatum but I don’t know if that would be a bit harsh? I honestly feel like our lives are being wasted waiting for him to suddenly get the urge to do something.
Sometimes the ultimatum is the only thing that could work, do it.
he sounds depressed, maybe talk to him about it he could be really struggling and need help
Original post by lemon27
he sounds depressed, maybe talk to him about it he could be really struggling and need help
I have, I have had experience with anxiety and depression too so I feel like I could help him but he just shuts down and says he doesn’t want to talk about it.
Original post by Anonymous
We’ve been together 5 years now and living together for 2. I love him and want to be with him but I feel like he’s dragging me down. He has a lot of issues with himself and never wants to go out or do anything. I want to get out there and see the world - or at least go to a new restaurant once in a while but he won’t. If it involves leaving the house he isn’t interested. Sometimes I can drag him out but he just seems like he’s waiting to go home again. He’s lost touch with all his friends, they even ring him and I try and get him to arrange to see them but nope. All he does is work and then come home and sit in front of the TV, he doesn’t seem to want any more from life?! I want to go on adventures and make memories, but it feels like we’re living the same day over and over.
When we met he was a different person, I know he probably is experiencing some sort of depression but he doesn’t seem to have any drive to do something about it.
Lately I’ve been considering giving him an ultimatum but I don’t know if that would be a bit harsh? I honestly feel like our lives are being wasted waiting for him to suddenly get the urge to do something.
When we met he was a different person, I know he probably is experiencing some sort of depression but he doesn’t seem to have any drive to do something about it.
Lately I’ve been considering giving him an ultimatum but I don’t know if that would be a bit harsh? I honestly feel like our lives are being wasted waiting for him to suddenly get the urge to do something.
Cant say im a believer in ultimatums. You should give him at least six months to sort himself out though and get him to acknowledge what's going on and that you are unhappy.
If he wont listen to you and wont help himself, then you are staying in something that makes you unhappy.
If you love him that much you could agree to take a time out and move out. He needs to be willing to try.
If he wont listen then you have to decide whether you want to stay like that forever. You come across as trapped unhappy and that you are missing out on fun adventure and happiness. At some stage you may need to let go.
He sounds unwell. Get him to seek help. If he is unwell, ultimatums won't help. They'll probably just put more pressure on him. Be supportive. Maybe talk to his family and say you're worried if he won't listen.
Original post by as125
Well you must be boring too
After all, you fell for him 😂😂😂
After all, you fell for him 😂😂😂
that 'idgaf' attitude showing again smh
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by as125
Well you must be boring too
After all, you fell for him 😂😂😂
After all, you fell for him 😂😂😂
He wasn’t like this 5 years ago he was outgoing and fun - he used to go out more than I did when we met! Slowly he has withdrawn from everything.
Original post by lemon27
that 'idgaf' attitude showing again smh 🤦*♀️
😂 Like you said, it's a defense mechanism
Original post by Anonymous
He wasn’t like this 5 years ago he was outgoing and fun - he used to go out more than I did when we met! Slowly he has withdrawn from everything.
Since he met you? 😂😂 you are the reason
I think you need a serious talk. Ultimatum won't work if he's seriously depressed. You need to tell him how you're feeling and tell him he needs to start opening up and seeking help. It may be he is happy with his lifestyle in which case you need to make a decision.
I have a similar attitude where I don't go out and have become withdrawn maybe he has low self-confidence or is depressed.
Isn’t a relationship for better or for worse anymore?
Cold hard facts
1. You believe he’s unwell
2. He’s denying it and can’t see he needs help
3. Your main concern is your lack of excitement
At this point I would have expected that you’d be asking how you can encourage him to seek medical support to become well again!
He’s not boring, he’s ill!!!
If you can’t get through to him then try speaking to his parents and explain what’s going on. Between you all hopefully you can encourage him to see his gp
Cold hard facts
1. You believe he’s unwell
2. He’s denying it and can’t see he needs help
3. Your main concern is your lack of excitement
At this point I would have expected that you’d be asking how you can encourage him to seek medical support to become well again!
He’s not boring, he’s ill!!!
If you can’t get through to him then try speaking to his parents and explain what’s going on. Between you all hopefully you can encourage him to see his gp
If I was with someone that boring I'd have walked out ages ago.
The 2 of you are incompatible.
Start looking for someone more compatible now. And move out or get him to move out as soon as is convenient for you.
If you gave him an ultimatum, he might change for a short while, but sooner or later he'd be back to his old boring habits.
Some guys just don't like to live the James Bond lifestyle.
And who cares what the reason is for him being such a stay at home telly addict? You're not his psychaitric nurse. You're his girlfriend or boyfriend!
There are millions of blokes out there who are just as sweet as him and far more fun to be with in the long term. You only have one life! Don't spend it with a millstone.
The 2 of you are incompatible.
Start looking for someone more compatible now. And move out or get him to move out as soon as is convenient for you.
If you gave him an ultimatum, he might change for a short while, but sooner or later he'd be back to his old boring habits.
Some guys just don't like to live the James Bond lifestyle.
And who cares what the reason is for him being such a stay at home telly addict? You're not his psychaitric nurse. You're his girlfriend or boyfriend!
There are millions of blokes out there who are just as sweet as him and far more fun to be with in the long term. You only have one life! Don't spend it with a millstone.
How can you not relate if youve suffered depression also? Give the guy a break.
I was going to suggest he is possibly going through some sort of depression before you mentioned it yourself. Is he getting any help? He should see his doctor who can refer him for therapy. Lack of motivation and not finding enjoyment in the things you used to are two classic signs of depression. It can be very tough on the partner as well as the person with the illness but don't give him an ultimatum, it's only going to put more pressure on him. See if you can work through this together but remember he has to actively want to get better otherwise nothing will change.
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