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25 year old virgin, honestly would you be put off?

Yes, a female 25 year old virgin over here.

I’m still trying to work out why this has happened, but irrespective of the reasons behind it, it is what it is!

I don’t think I’m bad looking, I think I’m pretty but not really sexy, if that makes sense. So be honest with me, if a girl you were interested in told you she was still a virgin, would you be put off?

Also, how do I even go about telling a guy this, I find it too embarrassing to tell face to face, so would it be acceptable to tell it over text?

And finally, I know this is awful but I genuinely think I may lie to a guy on the first date, and just say I’ve dated a few guys when I haven’t. And then disclose the truth if it actually comes to anything. I know I’ll probably be slated for that, but on a first date people seem to for some reason want to discuss part relationships. And I can’t even imagine telling someone I’m a virgin.

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Reply 1
Past relationships*
Girl I think you should embrace the fact your still a virgin! It’s nothing to be embarrassed about atall!, you just haven’t met the right person so far, don’t put pressure on yourself PLEASE. Also no relationship should start off on a lie. Whoever you date should be understanding, if he’s not he’s defo not the one for you, know your worth! If that means saving yourself for the one who will truly accept you for you the so be it.
Relax and stop worrying about how other people will perceive it - instead focus on meeting someone who you want to be in a relationship with.

As a guy, no I wouldn't be put off, and I can't think of any guys I know who would be put off. Then again, I don't tend to make friends with jerks :smile:

Whatever you do, don't lie about it, that's just going to lead to an even more uncomfortable situation. If the subject crops up in a face-to-face date, then it's fine to tell your date that you find the subject uncomfortable to talk about at that moment; say something along the lines of "I'm quite private about that kind of thing, and it makes me uncomfortable to talk about past relationships until I've gotten to know somebody a bit better, can I tell you another time?". anybody who isn't a complete a-hole, and who has any genuine interest in you will understand.

Otherwise you'll find the majority of guys really aren't bothered by it; you aren't your dating history, and anybody worthwhile will respect you regardless. It may seem like a big deal to you, but it won't be a big deal to them.
you shouldn't lie about being a virgin! it's extremely important that the first guy you have sex with know's that you're a virgin so it is a comfortable experience for you. and there's nothing wrong or even weird about being a 25 year old virgin, and in fact most guys would be happy at the thought and idea that they get to be your first and that you confided in them. nothing to be ashamed of. :smile:
Let me put it this way, I would care a lot more about someone being dishonest with me than I would if they said they were a virgin.

The majority of people I know wouldn’t think of it as too much of a big deal and if the conversation does come up (I wouldn’t discuss anything like this over text) it’s more than reasonable to just explain that you have been ‘waiting for the right person’ etc.

If someone is insensitive and is put off by your experience, they probably aren’t worth your time anyway.
Reply 6
Tell them you are religious and that's why you are still a virgin it's a very reasonable and believable explanation.
As a guy if I met a pretty girl when I'm 25 that is a virgin I would probably marry her since it's pretty hard to come by these days and in my culture virginity is ridiculously overrated. For example when my aunt got married her mother in law took the bedsheet after their 'first night' and checked for blood. Jokes on her my aunts hymen is abnormally deep her sons tiny ting didn't pop it. So they cussed my aunt and rejected her, she took them to a doctor who broke her hymen in front of them. That still wasn't enough and she's divorced today. Go marry a Kurd, Turk, Greek, Albanian or Arab. They love virginity they view it as a virtue not an embarrassment.
Please please please stop worrying about what a guy would think! It is not about them it is about you. This is who you are so own it, there is strength in owning who you are. The minute you start to worry about what they think, you give a little bit of that strength away and that would make you weak.

If you feel you are ready to lose, take your time in finding someone decent that you like, preferably a guy in the same situation as you and that way you can both discover that part of yourselves together. I also wouldn’t tell a guy that you are a virgin until you get into a stable relationship with him or until you make it official. If you tell a guy straightaway, some may see it as a conquest and will focus their efforts on trying to take your virginity and show no interest in you after. Guys can be jerks like that.
When you do find a guy that you like try &find out how many girls he has been with- guys with low numbers like 1 or 2 are your safe bet! Stay away from guys with double/ triple numbers- they don’t value sex they way you do- you will just be another number to them. And those type of guys probably have a list of how many virgins they have had.
I know people in their 30’s who are virgins for various reasons- choice, religion & traditions so you are not alone and it is perfectly fine.
Reply 8
Original post by winterscoming
Relax and stop worrying about how other people will perceive it - instead focus on meeting someone who you want to be in a relationship with.

As a guy, no I wouldn't be put off, and I can't think of any guys I know who would be put off. Then again, I don't tend to make friends with jerks :smile:

Whatever you do, don't lie about it, that's just going to lead to an even more uncomfortable situation. If the subject crops up in a face-to-face date, then it's fine to tell your date that you find the subject uncomfortable to talk about at that moment; say something along the lines of "I'm quite private about that kind of thing, and it makes me uncomfortable to talk about past relationships until I've gotten to know somebody a bit better, can I tell you another time?". anybody who isn't a complete a-hole, and who has any genuine interest in you will understand.

Otherwise you'll find the majority of guys really aren't bothered by it; you aren't your dating history, and anybody worthwhile will respect you regardless. It may seem like a big deal to you, but it won't be a big deal to them.


Thanks for your honest reply, it’s appreciated :smile:
Yeah that’s a good point about the past relationships issue, I guess I could just say I don’t really feel comfortable talking about it on a first date. I mean for me personally, even if I did have previous relationships, it’s still not really appropriate for first discussion.

I kmow know you are right, I shouldn’t be focussing so much on what others think, but it’s a difficult habit to break.
I;ll be honest, a pretty girl who is in her mid 20's who is still a virgin is unusual (not that it's a bad thing) but I would think there's probably a reason for it... and my immediate thoughts would probably lean towards one of the following:-

1) You're saving yourself for religious reasons and / or marriage
2) You were a big child / teenager and you have some residual self esteem issues
3) You had been abused (OSLT)

Now if I was to get involved with a 25 year old virgin,, the question(s) I would have to ask is would I want to spend my Christmas time either a) being lectured on the 'true' meaning of Christmas or b) Can she be trusted with all the left over Christmas pudding / cake or c) Will have to make awkward conversations with Uncle Fester, knowing what a creep he really is.

Please be clear, is it just that you're still technically a virgin or have you never experienced any kind of sexual contact / play?
Original post by Anonymous

Thanks for your honest reply, it’s appreciated :smile:
Yeah that’s a good point about the past relationships issue, I guess I could just say I don’t really feel comfortable talking about it on a first date. I mean for me personally, even if I did have previous relationships, it’s still not really appropriate for first discussion.

I kmow know you are right, I shouldn’t be focussing so much on what others think, but it’s a difficult habit to break.


Unfortunately I think you'll find plenty of guys who are less-than chivalrous on a first date and quite willing to cross boundaries with inappropriate questions or even trying to force some overly-forward moves on you. It's not always arrogance, sometimes it's pure ineptitude. Just don't let it trouble you and don't let yourself wind up feeling anxious; just try to find positive ways of staying in control of the date by letting them know if anything makes you feel uncomfortable; that way you can carry on without spoiling the date :smile:

Even people who have been in long-term relationships may have all kinds of reasons for not wanting to discuss them - relationships always create emotional pain when they end. There's a lot of vulnerability involved in being open about that subject; most people only discuss this kind of thing with their closest friends and family; certainly not a complete stranger who they've barely known for a few weeks..

But aside from that, try not to be anxious about it. Maybe as you spend more time dating you'll feel more comfortable. Just remember that while you may feel like you're the only one out of your friends who has left it for this long, and maybe feel like it's grown into a gremin peering over your shoulder, nobody else will perceive you this way - it may sound a little cliche to say that it's all in your head, but it's true!

Conversations about intimacy are for the point when you're feeling really comfortable with someone. Don't drive yourself mad trying to imagine how the conversation will go, and don't try to imagine the ways it can go wrong because whatever scenario happens in your head won't happen back in the 'real world'. When you meet somebody who you feel romantically connected to, and you trust them, you'll find it much easier to discuss all kinds of private and personal topics.
(edited 5 years ago)
No it wouldn't.

You could try online dating, speed dating, joining clubs out of interest, meeting men at the bar, in eduction, through your network and going out.

Good luck
I think it's important not to lie, it's really not a good start to a relationship but you also might not want to broadcast to guys you don't even know that well that you've never had any experiences whatsoever. People do ask about past relationships, but that shouldn't include what sexual things you did or didn't do. And saying you've never had a serious relationship doesn't automatically translate as saying you're a virgin, not that it matters. If you really haven't ever had a drink or been to the cinema etc. with a guy then maybe just brush it off quickly like "I've been more focussed on studying/work so haven't really had the time to be that serious with anyone and anyway I'm more interested in finding out about you..." And as for the virgin thing, some people even wait until they are married or in a really serious relationship such as the model adriana lima, who was 28 apparently when she lost her virginity and that was on her wedding night. she said she wanted to wait until someone really wanted her and wanted to marry her. I actually think that's kind of cool and it's good when someone sticks to what they believe in even if it's unpopular. but basically someone who likes you isn't going to mind at all, and someone on a first date who you don't know that well shouldn't really ask about your sex life.
(edited 5 years ago)
As a mormon, I'd expect my girlfriend to be a virgin, so no points lost there.

However, your apparent urge to want to lie in order to lose your virginity is one of the most damaging and ugly traits you could possibly have.

*Edit*: No offence intended, of course, but you shouldn't be so desperate to lose your virginity because the majority of people treat it as no big deal and regret losing it to someone they didn't even love or like. Be proud and thankful that you're still pure.
(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 14
I think guys like you should remain pure foreverrrr! Just sayin!
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Joel 96
As a mormon, I'd expect my girlfriend to be a virgin, so no points lost there.

However, your apparent urge to want to lie in order to lose your virginity is one of the most damaging and ugly traits you could possibly have.

*Edit*: No offence intended, of course, but you shouldn't be so desperate to lose your virginity because the majority of people treat it as no big deal and regret losing it to someone they didn't even love or like. Be proud and thankful that you're still pure.

Complete and utter nonsense.
There is nothing pure about virginity, and there is nothing impure about having sex.

I’m a virgin becuase I probably have a low sex drive, I’ve just never been that bothered.
Original post by Anonymous
Complete and utter nonsense.
There is nothing pure about virginity, and there is nothing impure about having sex.

I’m a virgin becuase I probably have a low sex drive, I’ve just never been that bothered.


That’s your perspective. I see it as an immoral thing outside of marriage. It’s only nonsense to you because of the cultural and sexual revolution that has swept this country since the first world war. If you think there’s nothing impure about sex, and that the normalisation of sex is a positive thing, just look at the hundreds of thousands of children who are slaughtered each year in the womb, the teenage pregnancy rate, the sexualisation of children which is being largely promoted by teenage idols who dance around on stage with barely any clothes on. You may think this is a change for the better; I do not.
Original post by Joel 96
That’s your perspective. I see it as an immoral thing outside of marriage. It’s only nonsense to you because of the cultural and sexual revolution that has swept this country since the first world war. If you think there’s nothing impure about sex, and that the normalisation of sex is a positive thing, just look at the hundreds of thousands of children who are slaughtered each year in the womb, the teenage pregnancy rate, the sexualisation of children which is being largely promoted by teenage idols who dance around on stage with barely any clothes on. You may think this is a change for the better; I do not.


Teenage pregnancy rates and abortion rates have been falling since the 60s/70s. Dramatically so during the 2000s.


Original post by jacketpotato
Teenage pregnancy rates and abortion rates have been falling since the 60s/70s.




Try expanding your demographic beyond 15-17 year olds.
Reply 19
Original post by Anonymous
Yes, a female 25 year old virgin over here.

I’m still trying to work out why this has happened, but irrespective of the reasons behind it, it is what it is!

I don’t think I’m bad looking, I think I’m pretty but not really sexy, if that makes sense. So be honest with me, if a girl you were interested in told you she was still a virgin, would you be put off?

Also, how do I even go about telling a guy this, I find it too embarrassing to tell face to face, so would it be acceptable to tell it over text?

And finally, I know this is awful but I genuinely think I may lie to a guy on the first date, and just say I’ve dated a few guys when I haven’t. And then disclose the truth if it actually comes to anything. I know I’ll probably be slated for that, but on a first date people seem to for some reason want to discuss part relationships. And I can’t even imagine telling someone I’m a virgin.

Im 17, never had my first kiss and never held hands with a girl, i feel so so embarassed honestly, so i know how you might feel. I think that it depends on the reason. I myself would like to take a girls virginity away, knowing that she gives her first time to me. It would me much more exciting knowing that she has no experience. But that only goes to girls,wish it was the same with boys as well. So yee for many boys that might be a plus i think

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