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Should I tell my mum what happened today?

So. Today my boyfriend came round. We are both 14 and I love him so much. I tell my mum everything. Today we watched a couple of movies and kissed and then I touched his penis.And he touched me... I loved it and he did to... but I feel so bad keeping it a secret from my mum and I don't know how she'd react to it. My mum is sweet and kind and caring and I love and trust her completely. Do you think I should tell her... it's on my mind a lot...

Reply 1

DrawTheLine

Original post by Anonymous

Why on earth would you tell your mum? Your mum doesn't have to know everything about your life. She has no reason to know you "touched" your boyfriend like that.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 2

ANM775

You're actually thinking of telling your mum?

I thought kids were supposed to be getting smarter......

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Lol pls don’t tell your mum😂😂

Reply 4

HappyBuddah

There's stuff that you don't need to tell your mum, and this is one of those. It's worth looking into contraceptives if you and your boyfriend take things further.

Reply 5

bones-mccoy

Would you tell her if you were above the age of consent? If you were 18? 21? 30?

Reply 6

1582

Volunteer Team

Don't think of it as a secret. Your mother doesn't need to (and most likely doesn't want to) hear about your sexual experiences.

Reply 7

CTLeafez

OP. it's brilliant you've got such a close relationship with your mum, but there are some things you don't need to tell your parents. :P

I'm sure your mum would rather not know to be honest :P Are you wanting to tell her because you want her to know or do you want her to have 'the talk' with you so you can understand more about sexual relationships? Not to be patronising but you are a tad on the young-side to be doing this...

The age of consent in the UK is 16, I'm not sure if that applies for foreplay but it's definitely something to consider. 2 years may not seem like much but there is a significant amount of maturity growth in that time.

Go play with a holla-hoop or something...! :biggrin:

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 8

Cereidee

yeeeeeeaaaah no. don't tell her, bad idea.

Reply 9

username4158780

yeah don't tell her. She might be trusting but if she finds out she'll probably not allow him to come over again

Reply 10

Popsiclez

What sort of normal child discusses their sex life with their parents? Is it possible you've lost brain cells. When I was your age I was still playing Club Penguin :P

Reply 11

DrawTheLine

Original post by Popsiclez

What sort of normal child discusses their sex life with their parents? Is it possible you've lost brain cells. When I was your age I was still playing Club Penguin :P

Those were the days

Reply 12

username4169146

I know you said it was a good experience but if anything changes...just know that you don't have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with. you have every right to say no to him or any other boyfriend. if a boy puts pressure on you then that is a sign you need to get rid of him, because sadly it means he doesn't care about you. I know people older than you, who didn't do anything that sexual with a serious boyfriend/girlfriend, because it wasn't the right time for them or they wanted to wait till marriage. the right person will understand and care about how you feel. if you feel unsure or upset about something then you could bring your mother into it so that she can help support you through it.

Reply 13

Anonymous #3

Okay....... I'm probably going to get skewered here but.... I have a different opinion.

Whereas ones sexual interactions are (or should be) kept private I feel you can and should discuss some of this with your mum. As a previous poster wrote he/she was still playing Club Penguin when they were your age. You are young. That is a fact. The problem with starting such intimacy so young is that you are more likely to enter the next stages of sexuality sooner than is probably a good idea. You may be young but you and your bf are old enough to have been interested and liked touching each other. Then what happens next......... assuming you stay together as a couple there will be more touching and even more intimate touching which can and most likely will lead to different sexual activity potentially leading to full on intercourse. If one is of age then it is just between the two consenting partners but that is not the case for you. Do I think you should come out and tell your mum everything you did with your bf - probably not - at least not yet. But if you are going to start down the road to sexuality and you are blessed enough to have a relationship with your mum that you can and do tell her important aspects of your life then I feel you should start talking with her about sex in general. The problem is a whole lot of really nice but young girls end up pregnant as teenagers. Which conversation do you feel your mum would rather have with you..... "Mum, I want to be honest, "BF name" and I have kind of been doing a little more than kissing, I let him touch me and I touched him" (and see/hear her response) or would she (or you) prefer "Mum, I didn't want to tell you because, ew, talking w/ my mum about sex would be weird so I didn't but "BF name" and I have been fooling around and well, I've missed my period for a month now and I think I'm pregnant" or perhaps the conversation would be "Mum, "BF name" and I have been fooling around and I really didn't think it was something you'd want to hear about but anyway it turns out I'm pregnant. I'm not sure whether I should just get an abortion but "BF name' really doesn't want me to so could you help us raise this baby? I realize my whole life is going to change and be a whole lot more difficult".
Honestly, most people just don't have parents they feel they can talk to but if you trust your mum and don't think she's the type to utterly freak out maybe now is the time to start having some real discussions and not wait until you're 2 1/2 months pregnant with a lot of really overwhelming decisions to make. You don't have to tell her you did anything but I think you should start a conversation about sexual experiences because she is someone you feel you can trust. Also, I'm guessing she also feels close to you and trusts you as well don't risk her trust in you.
So, you haven't done anything wrong but this can go quickly to a place you may not be ready for...... be cautious......