I wanted to start an open chat about being the ugly one/DUFF of a friendship group. I personally have really struggled recently with coming to terms with this concept because i know for a fact i am this person in my friendship group. Especially because all my friends are super pretty girls and all the boys would definitely go for them. It’s been really hard as i’ve been stuck in my own head a lot lately and just feel stuck in a position where i can’t move past it and it’s making me really upset but i never show it to my friends because it’s such a stupid reason to be upset- plus i don’t think they’d ever understand because they will never be the unattractive ones in our group. It’s hard for me to hear them all complain about two boys liking them at the same time or constantly hearing “oh he’s flirting with me” or “it’s not like that”. I understand everyone has insecurities and flaws they don’t like about themselves but i am generally quite an outgoing person, however i’ve just been inside my own head a lot and i’m really am not happy with the way i’m feeling about things. If anyone has experiences and advice please comment as i’d like to start an open chat about this.
Someone will like you for you
Remember being the odd one out means you’re unique
one persons 'ugly' is another persons 'attractive' and vice versa. most of my former school mates who were deemed 'not attractive' are now happily married. don't stress over it too much. theres so much more to life than fussing over how good looking you are or aren't.
So long as you’re the best version of you, that’s all that matters. Health, confidence and good vibes go a long way.
Hi. I will give you a male perspective. In a few years you will look back and wonder - why did I worry about that? In fact in a few years time its likely that you will not be that close to some or all of your uni friends as time moves on, people move, lives change and friendships fade or end. Sad but true. Now - if these girls are good friends you should keep them as your friend, definitely. Lets say you are the least physically attractive of a group. Thats always going to be the case in a group. Not everyone has the same looks and among the others in your friendship group there will be a gradation of looks among everyone. Unfortunately, looks matter, but they are not the be all and end all. Being a good, loyal, open person is also very attractive, even to horny university boys. At the end of the day most people want to find someone that they can love and who loves them. Now, will some boys talk to you cos they want to get close to one of your friends. Maybe. But that could be happening to any of your friends. Can you meet a guy sho is genuinely interested in you despite your more physically attractive friends. Definitely yes. Just look around at society - there plenty of Plane Janes with beautiful friends who have very nice boyfriends. Life is unfair and full of betrayal and sorrow but the answer is not to fall into your head and worry about things that you can't control. Get out there and join lots of groups, meet lots of people,look for good decent guys. Take your focus away from yourself and put it into being a good citizen, friend and family member and you will flourish. There are no garauntees in life - many beautiful women are unhappy and many planer women are happy. You might end up being unlucky in love but you need to give yourself a fighting chance and not just defeat yourself. Sorry this is full of cliches but I think its true. Please dont worry about your looks - its just pointless wasted energy - there are plenty of good men out there leaning out for love. All the best sister, keep on fighting 😊
get over it , there's more to life than boys noticing you
None of your poll options are suitable long-term options. They all involve escaping or ignoring the problem when really your best option would be to tackle it head and to improve how you feel about yourself.
A few Qs:
Is there something you particularly dislike about your appearance?
What are the things you like best about your appearance?
What is it about your friends that makes you think they are more attractive than you are?
If you were to take the male attention they receive out of the equation do you think you'd still feel this way?
I know this is weird and although I've never seen you, I think you're absolutely beautiful. It's not really about your outward appearance really, it's about how you define yourself as a person. Be yourself, whether you're absolutely mental (like myself) or an introvert, extrovert whatever you are. Just be that. Spend your life being awesome and simply rocking it. I mean who cares what other people think of you. Be confident in yourself and LOVE yourself (obviously don't be self-centered). Flaws are AWESOME!! I have loads, I swear I can be a president for flaws but it's not about me. Flaws are what makes you perfect (it doesn't make sense but it kind of does in a way...). So yeah. You're unique!
From the master of third wheeling (loool not funny at all)
you can't be the ugly ones if you find uglier people.
I would vote for options 1,2 & 4. I think unless you are in the well above average attractiveness set (which most of us are not) you have to contend with friends having more dating success than yourself. This is not to say that it is not quite often soul destroying but I do believe with that with the right attitude everyone finds success. Attractiveness is about looks and personality and you can play to your strengths and work on your weaknesses with both. Keep at it.
I know how you feel. My friends are all way more attractive than me. Then again, everyone is way more attractive than me.