Coming out at uni
I'm trans, and my current situation (parent), means that I can't come out and start "being myself". This means that I'll be applying to university with my legal name and credentials, and they will admit me as female.
When is the right time to come out? Once I've accepted an offer? And what's the best way to do it?
When is the right time to come out? Once I've accepted an offer? And what's the best way to do it?
Original post by FancyShrimp
I'm trans, and my current situation (parent), means that I can't come out and start "being myself". This means that I'll be applying to university with my legal name and credentials, and they will admit me as female.
When is the right time to come out? Once I've accepted an offer? And what's the best way to do it?
When is the right time to come out? Once I've accepted an offer? And what's the best way to do it?
I'm just going to give this thread a
Original post by FancyShrimp
I'm trans, and my current situation (parent), means that I can't come out and start "being myself". This means that I'll be applying to university with my legal name and credentials, and they will admit me as female.
When is the right time to come out? Once I've accepted an offer? And what's the best way to do it?
When is the right time to come out? Once I've accepted an offer? And what's the best way to do it?
Have you legally changed your name and gender yet? I know Uni loves their legalities and regulations.
What are your plans for uni. Will you be moving away, staying in a student-family accommodation, etc? Need a little bit more info.
But what I would recommend is perhaps phoning up the universities before applying via UCAS and see what sort of information/support they can offer you before putting them down.
Hey @FancyShrimp
I know a situation like this isn't easy.
If you're planning to change your name/credentials etc after university anyway, it might be in your best interest to change it beforehand (as I'm not aware if University will be able to change your name after for your certificates). They do however, do regular housekeeping at my University and ask if my details are up to date or need changing.
It may be worth contacting the university itself or UCAS to find out the best answer.
Josh
I know a situation like this isn't easy.
If you're planning to change your name/credentials etc after university anyway, it might be in your best interest to change it beforehand (as I'm not aware if University will be able to change your name after for your certificates). They do however, do regular housekeeping at my University and ask if my details are up to date or need changing.
It may be worth contacting the university itself or UCAS to find out the best answer.
Josh
I know aaaall about this sort of thing so if you want to PM me with direct questions, or ask me on this thread, feel free. I came out in 2017 just before I started my A Levels, and I've now changed my name on my driving license (not passport yet, as to change my gender on that I have to provide proof from my GP that I have lived as male for over two years 
) and have applied to university as male. Granted, I said on my application that I was transgender because they asked, but apart from that I don't plan on telling anyone who doesn't need to know. As @The Empire Odyssey said, universities do love their legalities and regulations. However, there is a way for you to change your name without your parents knowing, assuming that you're 16 or over. Head over to https://www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/make-an-adult-deed-poll and there's a template on there to write your own deed poll. You will need two witnesses though (can be absolutely anyone so long as they're over 18 and not a family member - could be trusted teachers, friends, friends' parents, etc.). I know it seems a bit dodgy that you're allowed to write out a legal document yourself, but that's exactly what I did and it was accepted by the DVLA to change my license and by the HM Passport Office.
Basically, coming out to your parents isn't necessary to change your name. I applied on UCAS before I had actually changed my name on anything, because they won't need proof of identity until you apply for student housing. I'd get your name changed ASAP, and if you haven't applied to UCAS this year, when you do use your new name. If you already have applied, I'd wait until you accept your firm and insurance and then email the universities individually to let them know of your name change. Feel free to ask me any more questions on here or on PM!
) and have applied to university as male. Granted, I said on my application that I was transgender because they asked, but apart from that I don't plan on telling anyone who doesn't need to know. As @The Empire Odyssey said, universities do love their legalities and regulations. However, there is a way for you to change your name without your parents knowing, assuming that you're 16 or over. Head over to https://www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/make-an-adult-deed-poll and there's a template on there to write your own deed poll. You will need two witnesses though (can be absolutely anyone so long as they're over 18 and not a family member - could be trusted teachers, friends, friends' parents, etc.). I know it seems a bit dodgy that you're allowed to write out a legal document yourself, but that's exactly what I did and it was accepted by the DVLA to change my license and by the HM Passport Office.Basically, coming out to your parents isn't necessary to change your name. I applied on UCAS before I had actually changed my name on anything, because they won't need proof of identity until you apply for student housing. I'd get your name changed ASAP, and if you haven't applied to UCAS this year, when you do use your new name. If you already have applied, I'd wait until you accept your firm and insurance and then email the universities individually to let them know of your name change. Feel free to ask me any more questions on here or on PM!
Original post by tesconyc
once you complete come out there's no going back make sure you know what your getting yourself into
I'm quite sure that if OP wants to come out, that means that he knows exactly what he's getting himself into.
Spoiler
Original post by connor.beja
I know aaaall about this sort of thing so if you want to PM me with direct questions, or ask me on this thread, feel free. I came out in 2017 just before I started my A Levels, and I've now changed my name on my driving license (not passport yet, as to change my gender on that I have to provide proof from my GP that I have lived as male for over two years ) and have applied to university as male. Granted, I said on my application that I was transgender because they asked, but apart from that I don't plan on telling anyone who doesn't need to know. As @The Empire Odyssey said, universities do love their legalities and regulations. However, there is a way for you to change your name without your parents knowing, assuming that you're 16 or over. Head over to https://www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/make-an-adult-deed-poll and there's a template on there to write your own deed poll. You will need two witnesses though (can be absolutely anyone so long as they're over 18 and not a family member - could be trusted teachers, friends, friends' parents, etc.). I know it seems a bit dodgy that you're allowed to write out a legal document yourself, but that's exactly what I did and it was accepted by the DVLA to change my license and by the HM Passport Office.
Basically, coming out to your parents isn't necessary to change your name. I applied on UCAS before I had actually changed my name on anything, because they won't need proof of identity until you apply for student housing. I'd get your name changed ASAP, and if you haven't applied to UCAS this year, when you do use your new name. If you already have applied, I'd wait until you accept your firm and insurance and then email the universities individually to let them know of your name change. Feel free to ask me any more questions on here or on PM!
) and have applied to university as male. Granted, I said on my application that I was transgender because they asked, but apart from that I don't plan on telling anyone who doesn't need to know. As @The Empire Odyssey said, universities do love their legalities and regulations. However, there is a way for you to change your name without your parents knowing, assuming that you're 16 or over. Head over to https://www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/make-an-adult-deed-poll and there's a template on there to write your own deed poll. You will need two witnesses though (can be absolutely anyone so long as they're over 18 and not a family member - could be trusted teachers, friends, friends' parents, etc.). I know it seems a bit dodgy that you're allowed to write out a legal document yourself, but that's exactly what I did and it was accepted by the DVLA to change my license and by the HM Passport Office.Basically, coming out to your parents isn't necessary to change your name. I applied on UCAS before I had actually changed my name on anything, because they won't need proof of identity until you apply for student housing. I'd get your name changed ASAP, and if you haven't applied to UCAS this year, when you do use your new name. If you already have applied, I'd wait until you accept your firm and insurance and then email the universities individually to let them know of your name change. Feel free to ask me any more questions on here or on PM!
Thanks so much for all the advice! Problem is, I'm an overseas student, going to attend university in the UK. With my current passport, I'm not able to change my legal documents. : (
Original post by FancyShrimp
Thanks so much for all the advice! Problem is, I'm an overseas student, going to attend university in the UK. With my current passport, I'm not able to change my legal documents. : (
Oh right, I'm sorry for assuming that you were British. Would you mind me asking what country you're from? I'll admit I'm going to be far less familiar with the system there but I'll do my best to help you out, as I know how annoying it is having to come out to everyone you meet and make a big fuss of it.
Original post by BlackPeopleGood
Actually, IT'S MA'AM
I very much appreciate the joke here but I'm 90% sure that OP is female to male lmaoo
Whenever you feel ready, there is no set time it's totally up to you. Uni cards are very easy to change the Mr or Miss on afaik and there is usually always an LGBT+ society for support as well as trans groups in the wellbeing office etc.
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