Relationship Advice DESPERATE FOR HELP
I've been dating a guy (let's call him A) for almost two years and he's been awful to me the past six months. He was constantly getting annoyed at me, yelling at me over the phone and in-person and was never grateful for anything I did. He wouldn't let me wear heels because they'd make me taller than him and on a couple of occasions, he told me to go and change because he didn't like the dress I wore. Around 4 months ago, we decided the we would spend an afternoon in a local town and we'd get the bus from his house. He asked me whether I liked his beanie with him outfit and I said it looked better without so we left his house and got on the bus to town. After reaching town, he forced me to get the bus back to his house but he wanted his hat. How petty. For the past month, I have been thinking about breaking up with him because I have my AS exams coming up in the summer and he hasn't treated me very well. I decided to ask my mum for advice the other night and my brother walked him. He is best friends with A even though they are approximately four years older/younger than each other. In front of my mum, he acted really annoyed with A and sounded genuinely angry at him. But today, he came into my bedroom, trashed it by throwing all my belongings around the room and then proceeded to tell me that I never deserved A. Furthermore, my brother said I deserved to be treated like that and he was surprised that A hadn't ended it with me months ago. I am not really sure what to do. I tried to cry it out which worked for a while.... but now I'm stuck. I'm hurt, upset and emotional. No one seems to be there to listen to my problems. I want my life to reverse... I want it all to go away. What should I do? Is this an abusive relationship?
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Yeah end the relationship. You don't deserve your brother either
I wouldn’t call it abusive if he’s not physically abusing u but i can tell its messing with u emotionally so id suggest breaking up with him . Mostly because u don’t deserve this i get he is ur brothers friends but he has no right to treat u like this neither does ur brother . Moreover if he is more concerned about his beanie I’m not tryna be rude but maybe he is too self centred to even have a gf. Hope that helped x
Yes, end the relationship as soon as you can.
You’re clearly not happy, he’s not treated you well at all and in a relationship the most important ingredient is that you’re treated with respect and actually enjoy it as what’s the point otherwise?
As for your brother, it’s a difficult situation and maybe it was because A had a word with him about it and misconstrued the story to him but ultimately you being happy is most important and if he can’t be happy for you and support you, he’s a useless brother
You’re clearly not happy, he’s not treated you well at all and in a relationship the most important ingredient is that you’re treated with respect and actually enjoy it as what’s the point otherwise?
As for your brother, it’s a difficult situation and maybe it was because A had a word with him about it and misconstrued the story to him but ultimately you being happy is most important and if he can’t be happy for you and support you, he’s a useless brother
I would 100% read this if you knew what paragraphs were.
u should confess as soon as possible because you never know she may find someone in the exam then there is your chance over. like what happend to my friend tom who is now very sad and lonely
or you can confess to a great guy called Tom h***t
@Expanda_302 abuse comes in many forms! It’s not only physical abuse! There’s also emotional abuse which is what’s going on here!
Original post by GBP23
I've been dating a guy (let's call him A) for almost two years and he's been awful to me the past six months. He was constantly getting annoyed at me, yelling at me over the phone and in-person and was never grateful for anything I did. He wouldn't let me wear heels because they'd make me taller than him and on a couple of occasions, he told me to go and change because he didn't like the dress I wore. Around 4 months ago, we decided the we would spend an afternoon in a local town and we'd get the bus from his house. He asked me whether I liked his beanie with him outfit and I said it looked better without so we left his house and got on the bus to town. After reaching town, he forced me to get the bus back to his house but he wanted his hat. How petty. For the past month, I have been thinking about breaking up with him because I have my AS exams coming up in the summer and he hasn't treated me very well. I decided to ask my mum for advice the other night and my brother walked him. He is best friends with A even though they are approximately four years older/younger than each other. In front of my mum, he acted really annoyed with A and sounded genuinely angry at him. But today, he came into my bedroom, trashed it by throwing all my belongings around the room and then proceeded to tell me that I never deserved A. Furthermore, my brother said I deserved to be treated like that and he was surprised that A hadn't ended it with me months ago. I am not really sure what to do. I tried to cry it out which worked for a while.... but now I'm stuck. I'm hurt, upset and emotional. No one seems to be there to listen to my problems. I want my life to reverse... I want it all to go away. What should I do? Is this an abusive relationship?
Of course it is an abusive relationship. He has absolutely no respect for you. Why have you not dumped this anger management issue control freak out of your life? Abusive guys always know which women don't respect themselves and take advantage of them.
thank you. I have never ended a relationship before... any tips?
Original post by hello_shawn
Yeah end the relationship. You don't deserve your brother either
Just be as honest as you can be - say you feel there's been strain on your relationship recently and you're not really feeling it anymore, especially with the added exam stress. Don't let him make you miserable! Be strong 
Original post by GBP23
thank you. I have never ended a relationship before... any tips?
Original post by GBP23
thank you. I have never ended a relationship before... any tips?
Call him and tell him that you don't want a relationship with him anymore. It is usually best to do this face to face but unfortunately he is very abusive so its best to call him .
When your brother trashed your room he did an illegal act that is reportable to the police. It's up to you if you report him or not. You didn't say, but it sounds like your parents gave an inadequate response to this? Your parents have a duty to protect you and your belongings.
As for A. Leave him. He has no idea how to treat you right and deserves not a single moment more of your time.
Ignore your brother's comments about you not being worthy of A. After the way he acted with your room we can discount anything that he says as having any merit when it comes to dealing with people.
And besides, finger pointing and having a post mortem to decide who has been the better behaved between you and your boyfriend is completely besides the point. The point is that your boyfriend has been treating you worse than he would the dirt on the bottom of his shoe and that you therfore should have nothing more to do with him, regardless of any behaviour on your part.
Tips for breaking up with A? It doesn't matter much how you do it. Just do it straight away and don't let him wheedle you into getting back together with him.
When you go to uni you will meet plenty of men that will make much better boyfriends for you than A.
As for A. Leave him. He has no idea how to treat you right and deserves not a single moment more of your time.
Ignore your brother's comments about you not being worthy of A. After the way he acted with your room we can discount anything that he says as having any merit when it comes to dealing with people.
And besides, finger pointing and having a post mortem to decide who has been the better behaved between you and your boyfriend is completely besides the point. The point is that your boyfriend has been treating you worse than he would the dirt on the bottom of his shoe and that you therfore should have nothing more to do with him, regardless of any behaviour on your part.
Tips for breaking up with A? It doesn't matter much how you do it. Just do it straight away and don't let him wheedle you into getting back together with him.
When you go to uni you will meet plenty of men that will make much better boyfriends for you than A.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by GBP23
he's been awful to me the past six months.
Leave, leave, leave. If you want to be radical burn his hat!
But today, he came into my bedroom, trashed it by throwing all my belongings around the room and then proceeded to tell me that I never deserved A. Furthermore, my brother said I deserved to be treated like that and he was surprised that A hadn't ended it with me months ago.
I suppose you can't leave your brother as easily. Your brother is being a bully and bullies need to be called out. That said can you talk to your brother about his behaviour?
Is this an abusive relationship?
Leave, leave, leave. If you want to be radical burn his hat!
But today, he came into my bedroom, trashed it by throwing all my belongings around the room and then proceeded to tell me that I never deserved A. Furthermore, my brother said I deserved to be treated like that and he was surprised that A hadn't ended it with me months ago.
I suppose you can't leave your brother as easily. Your brother is being a bully and bullies need to be called out. That said can you talk to your brother about his behaviour?
Is this an abusive relationship?
Yes, yes, yes. To be clear both of them are.
Good Luck
Breaking up over the phone is better than texting, especially as he's known to be abusive.
Make sure you have the reasons listed clearly so he knows where he's gone wrong.
Worst thing about breakups is not knowing or understanding what guys did wrong in the relationship. We need specific reasons for us to improve our behaviour & attitude.
Make sure you have the reasons listed clearly so he knows where he's gone wrong.
Worst thing about breakups is not knowing or understanding what guys did wrong in the relationship. We need specific reasons for us to improve our behaviour & attitude.
Original post by img_league
@Expanda_302 abuse comes in many forms! It’s not only physical abuse! There’s also emotional abuse which is what’s going on here!
Im sorrry that was my mistake x
Original post by Molliver
Abusive relationship DO NOT have to have physical violence. This is an abusive relationship. Google 'coercive control'. and leave ASAP!
Dont @ me molliver . I admitted my mistake and I’m sorry for trying to help ? Ive decided to move on from that mistake so should u guys with all that hate.
Original post by Expanda_302
Dont @ me molliver . I admitted my mistake and I’m sorry for trying to help ? Ive decided to move on from that mistake so should u guys with all that hate.
Hi Expanda_02. I had not noticed your comment above and was replying directly to the Ops post. I did not intend any offence as clearly I was unaware of what you had said. I am pleased that from this thread you've learned something about abusive relationships but fail to see why you have aimed unnecessary aggression at me. There was no 'hate' towards anyone intended in my post only the desire to inform the OP that a lack of physical violence doesn't mean that it is not abusive - hence my direct address for them to leave ASAP. I struggle to see how you felt that this was aimed at you?
(edited 5 years ago)
Please for your own sanity, leave that relationship because that is a form of psychological abuse. Don’t feel the need to stay due to how long y’all been together. Some people don’t reveal who they really are until it’s time. This is the time he decided to show you the real him. End that relationship before it destroys your future.
You are young, you don’t need this kind of problems on you.
You are young, you don’t need this kind of problems on you.
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