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Am i being too much or is he just not geniunly interested in me?

I live in india and he lives in nepal. His house is right next to my uncle's house which I go during Diwali vacation for 15-20 days. I have known him since childhood . We have a relation lik cat and dog whenever we saw each other we start to fight like it's the end of the world. 4 years ago just like every other day I was teasing him about his ex-girlfriend. I thought he would come and beat me up but he suddenly said that his ex was nothing to him and i was his wife. I was baffled and thought he was **** talking so i ignored him at that time. But after that his friends came to me and said that he really likes me and wasn't kidding that time. That time I couldn't say anything because I had to travel back to India the other day. And we had no means of communication so i went there next year. That time too we couldn't talk because of some family issues but eventually I told him that I liked him too. We couldn't talk like before because now we're grown up and our culture doesn't likes a girl-boy friendship so have to hide from others. Only our few comman friends knew about us. But I wasn't sure till now if he really liked me because we're not official (even now). He never asked me out. That year too went away just like that. Last year I didn't go due to my studies. This year I went same like every other year, we couldn't talk properly but we would meet in private and had made out quite a few times. Now because of country difference we couldn't talk in phone only in internet that too only messages because of people around us. We started messaging each other like few weeks ago. We messaged daily at evening but for the past few days he isn't coming online properly, we haven't talked since Monday and today is Thursday. He did like this before too but for only one day and when I asked him why he didn't came he said no reason. Today when he came online i asked him why he wasn't talking to me. He said that he's currently busy playing game and when I asked him why he didn't talked to me past few days, he didn't said anything. Even when we were beside each other he won't look at me and always talk to me in low soft voice. But whenever he's with others even girls he is so loud and energetic. He always gives me mix signal like when he wants to he'll flirt with me and tease me but otherwise he won't say a thing or would even glance at me. When i told him about our relationship (which till now I have no idea what it is) insecurities that i have he immediately shutted every negative thoughts and told me that the loves me a lot and likes talking with me and can never be angry with me . But at the same time if i ask him something personal like at about his ex or something like that he dodges my questions and asks me to not talk about it. He wants to talk to me but never makes effort like only i bring new new topics to talk and he only answers it. He always waits for me to initiate a conversation with him first. But never initiate first .he never ignores my text and always text me back. But doesn't talk much. When i asked him if I'm his girlfriend he said you're not my girlfriend you're my wife. He never critisized me and always compliments me. One time he told me that next time I come there i should be more healthy. I'm really confused what to do. Does he geniunly likes me. Or am i bothering him too much i just don't know. Please help.

Reply 1

Surnia

For starters, to keep asking someone about their ex is never a good idea; it makes you sound like you are jealous or paranoid. Same if you keep asking are you his girlfriend, you come over as a bit desperate or very available.

If when you meet in private you make out, but can't have a proper grown-up discussion about a relationship, it's not a good sign. Neither is him sending mixed signals, or not wanting to start a conversation.

What do you want from a relationship? Think seriously. Then think if you could get that from this guy. Talk to him and see what he wants with you. If he won't give genuine answers and continues to make a play of it, move on from him.