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Am I overreacting to something where I feel I've been forgotten about?

Sorry in advance for the long post

So me and my friends are going away for New Year, something that was first planned back in August and this is when I've said 'yes, I 100% want to go'.

Fast forward 4 months, and I've had no contact from the organiser about payment and if I still want to go (yes I know I should've asked sooner). So about three weeks ago I ask the person who was in charge about when do you want me to send you the money as I want to go, and I was quite looking forward to it at the time.
They later come back and say that they're really sorry they forgot to put my name down and to add me to the chat. (When I'm in the chat they say they've only recently made the plan in the last day or so but reading back on it it's been planned long before this, and I've had no say in it even though I said I would go)

Now I initially laughed this off and told them not to worry about it, but really what has happened is that it started to bring back to me all of the times that I was left out of things when I was younger (and more recently as well, all by the same people), and you can say I might be overreacting to this but over the last few weeks my head has just been filled with these bad memories and has made me question whether or not I'm really going to enjoy the trip away and if it would be any different if I wasn't going to be there.

I know it may sound a bit strange but I know I'm not, and never have been, entitled to an invite to anything, but at least acknowledge that I'm around. I'm not saying I would've joined them in the past because I could've had other plans but an invite still would've been nice.

All of this just makes me feel like I'm left out all the time by my friends, whereas the other night I had my work's night out and when I was asked if I was going to that, two of my colleagues would not take no for an answer and I said to myself 'ok, so these two actually want me there', and I actually think it was the best night out I've ever had because I didn't feel out of place.

TL;DR: initially forgotten to be included in NY plans even though I said I was going, and don't know if I'm overreacting by thinking about all the times I was left out of things when I was younger

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

dont beg them to go and dont go somehwere where you feel uninvited have some self respect

your work mates seem nice

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Hello.

I just want to say that I feel the exact same way as you. Well, not exactly because everyone feels things different, but you get what I mean.
I was constantly the one being left out of everything. I was always the one to be left out in school. We would be asked to get into partners or groups and I was always the odd one who was left without anyone, every time I tried to join in in conversations people would ignore me or tell me "you wouldn't understand anyway", now when I'm at uni all everyone seems to do is go out clubbing and drinking and that sort of stuff freaks me out yet I'm apparently 'isolating' myself for prefering to have a quiet night in or just a normal day out. I'm always the one checking up on people and no one bothers to check up on me so if I don't send a essage, we don't talk. My friends even went to a hosueparty on my birthday even though they knew that I had plans to invite them out for dinner as I do every year. It feels like my friends find me too boring to spend tiem with do they stick with their uni friends and every time I try to makes plans with them, there's always an excuse only for me to see them out with other friends almost every day. It feels never-ending.

You are not over-reacting. Feeling left out really hits a nerve, even after so many years.

I agree with @Anonymous #2 - if people make you feel like that, it's best to let them be and stick with those people who apreciate and respect you. You will feel so much better being around people who actually want you around. I've actually recently gone down all my social media and phone list and have deleted everyone who is now irrelevent. Sounds harsh, but these people don't deserve my concern if they don't bother to make an effort with me.

Respect yourself, know your worth and people like your collegues, who support you, should be the ones you build chrished memories with :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #4

Ugh. I feel exactly the same and it's annoying when u feel like u have no genuine friends so u have to hang on to fake ones. Hopefully both u and I meet real friends in the future :console:

Reply 4

bones-mccoy

I can relate so much, I'm constantly feeling left out by friends and it makes you feel like ****. These people will talk about plans in front of me yet not invite me, and all it does is make me wonder why people don't want me around. I've recently started a Masters and have found a lovely group of friends but I'm so wary of being left out or forgotten about again that I don't want to get too close.

I don't really have any advice but know that this is all on them and you've done nothing wrong. One day you'll find some nice friends.