Is anyone else struggling to make friends at uni? Watch

Anonymous #1
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I’m just about to start my second semester at uni but I don’t feel like it’s gone too well so far. I’ve got a few friends and sorted out a house for next year, but I’m kind of worried I don’t gel with most of them and I’ve only made one other friend on my course. I joined loads of societies and went to a ton of events last term but I’ve found it really difficult to click with people, I really wanted to have a close friend group at uni but I feel like it’s not really gonna happen. I’m planning on joining a couple new societies this term but seeing as the others kind of fell through my hopes aren’t really that high, does anyone have any advice about making friends in the second term?? If anyone found second term a lot easier then that would be good to know as well cause I’m kind of panicking about going back now
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EKIA
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I found joining societies does help you get more friends. At first it’s kinda awkward because you don’t know the people properly but eventually you get comfortable around them.

Maybe see if the society has a Whatsapp group. I’m in one that’s kinda lively people just send memes and stuff.

My best friend just happened to be a new student like me and we became close.

You should aim to have a small circle of close friends rather than a large group of people you know.
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Seris
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I made about 0 friends so far in uni and my life is going pretty good so is my essay. I would not say that am struggling to make friends. It is just that I don't really want any. But my advice would be. Try talking to some people in your class and ask if there any group chat that you can join.
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frantika
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m just about to start my second semester at uni but I don’t feel like it’s gone too well so far. I’ve got a few friends and sorted out a house for next year, but I’m kind of worried I don’t gel with most of them and I’ve only made one other friend on my course. I joined loads of societies and went to a ton of events last term but I’ve found it really difficult to click with people, I really wanted to have a close friend group at uni but I feel like it’s not really gonna happen. I’m planning on joining a couple new societies this term but seeing as the others kind of fell through my hopes aren’t really that high, does anyone have any advice about making friends in the second term?? If anyone found second term a lot easier then that would be good to know as well cause I’m kind of panicking about going back now
Oh sh*t I was just about to create this thread haha. I'm in the same boat except I don't even have a house sorted out for next year. My accommodation is w*nk (no meeting areas and very quiet) and 99% of people on my course live in the other accommodation area 30 mins away. I have a few (maybe 3) friends but they aren't good friends, just people I talk with, and I'm in no social group. I am in a society that is good fun and I have made some better friends there but unfortunately most of them are 3rd and 4th years so I can't really move in with them.

My plan is to just keep putting myself out there. I know/I've learnt that I'm a good enough person that some people would want to be friends with me, and I'm sure you are too. So I will try volunteering, one or two more societies, hanging out a bit more with my somewhat good friends and so on.

Another thing I've learnt is that: there is no 'window' for making friends. This isn't school where you're stuck with your class for the rest of your school years. You can be friends with whoever, and whenever, not just during first year.

I also remember that: my best friend in the whole world is someone I've known for 8 years, but for the first 2 or 3 I really wasn't good friends with him at all! So what I'm saying is just keep trying and searching, don't give up now: I am sure it will come.
Last edited by frantika; 4 days ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by frantika)
Oh sh*t I was just about to create this thread haha. I'm in the same boat except I don't even have a house sorted out for next year. My accommodation is w*nk (no meeting areas and very quiet) and 99% of people on my course live in the other accommodation area 30 mins away. I have a few (maybe 3) friends but they aren't good friends, just people I talk with, and I'm in no social group. I am in a society that is good fun and I have made some better friends there but unfortunately most of them are 3rd and 4th years so I can't really move in with them.

My plan is to just keep putting myself out there. I know/I've learnt that I'm a good enough person that some people would want to be friends with me, and I'm sure you are too. So I will try volunteering, one or two more societies, hanging out a bit more with my somewhat good friends and so on.

Another thing I've learnt is that: there is no 'window' for making friends. This isn't school where you're stuck with your class for the rest of your school years. You can be friends with whoever, and whenever, not just during first year.

I also remember that: my best friend in the whole world is someone I've known for 8 years, but for the first 2 or 3 I really wasn't good friends with him at all! So what I'm saying is just keep trying and searching: I am sure it will come.
Okay wow why are we in the exact same situation?? my accommodation is also pure ****e and honestly a lot of my dread is about going back there this week lol. Everyone else lives like a 20min bus journey away and I find it really difficult to make friends on my course cause they all just get the bus home after lectures.
I’m thinking of starting volunteering as well, I’m pretty introverted and the thought of starting a load of new things is kind of scary but I figured I’ve got to try🤷*♀️
Genuinely thanks so much for this, it’s really nice to know I’m not totally alone.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by EKIA)
I found joining societies does help you get more friends. At first it’s kinda awkward because you don’t know the people properly but eventually you get comfortable around them.

Maybe see if the society has a Whatsapp group. I’m in one that’s kinda lively people just send memes and stuff.

My best friend just happened to be a new student like me and we became close.

You should aim to have a small circle of close friends rather than a large group of people you know.
Yeah I definitely agree it’s nicer to have a smaller group of close friends than loads, think part of the reason why societies fell through was cause I was talking to so many different people getting nowhere and found it genuinely exhausting lol. Definitely gonna try and keep going with some new societies though. Thanks for the advice👍🏻
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frantika
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay wow why are we in the exact same situation?? my accommodation is also pure ****e and honestly a lot of my dread is about going back there this week lol. Everyone else lives like a 20min bus journey away and I find it really difficult to make friends on my course cause they all just get the bus home after lectures.
I’m thinking of starting volunteering as well, I’m pretty introverted and the thought of starting a load of new things is kind of scary but I figured I’ve got to try🤷*♀️
Genuinely thanks so much for this, it’s really nice to know I’m not totally alone.
haha exactly. Everyone on my course are best buds and just take the bus home together. I've spoken to about 50/60 people on my course and only 3 live in my area. Ah well. Which uni are you at?
I'm an introvert as well. But one thing I've learnt is that it isn't really the same as feeling shy/unconfident. Introversion just means we find social situations quite tiring. Doesn't mean I/we don't enjoy them, just I also enjoy my own company. Confidence however can be learnt, and it can be learnt by doing these scary things like putting yourself out there to volunteer. I've struggled with it for years but for some weird reason I feel more confident at uni then I have done ever before. Who knows. But yeah, being brave and putting yourself out there is 100% the best way to get confidence and find friends.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by frantika)
haha exactly. Everyone on my course are best buds and just take the bus home together. Out of 180 people (and I have spoken to about 80-90 of them) I've met 3 who live in my area. Ah well. Which uni are you at?
I'm an introvert as well. But one thing I've learnt is that it isn't really the same as feeling shy/unconfident. Introversion just means we find social situations quite tiring. Doesn't mean I/we don't enjoy them, just I also enjoy my own company. Confidence however can be learnt, and it can be learnt by doing these scary things like putting yourself out there to volunteer. I've struggled with it for years but for some weird reason I feel more confident at uni then I have done ever before. Who knows. But yeah, being brave and putting yourself out there is 100% the best way imo.
I’m doing joint honours which definitely adds to the weirdness, have a lot of acquaintances in one course and know absolutely no one in the other (I only had one module for it last term), and I’m at Bristol uni, what about you?
100% get you about the introversion thing, I really like to spend time with people but nights out etc really aren’t my thing. I like spending time alone as well but I get worried that I’m somehow missing out on something major when I do (might be to do with the fact my room is in the other side of the building to everyone else lol).
I feel way more confident at uni as well, it was really weird though cause I spent months worrying about meeting new people etc and then could just do it?? Genuinely don’t get my head lol
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frantika
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m doing joint honours which definitely adds to the weirdness, have a lot of acquaintances in one course and know absolutely no one in the other (I only had one module for it last term), and I’m at Bristol uni, what about you?
100% get you about the introversion thing, I really like to spend time with people but nights out etc really aren’t my thing. I like spending time alone as well but I get worried that I’m somehow missing out on something major when I do (might be to do with the fact my room is in the other side of the building to everyone else lol).
I feel way more confident at uni as well, it was really weird though cause I spent months worrying about meeting new people etc and then could just do it?? Genuinely don’t get my head lol
haha exactly! Like the 2nd week I volunteered to do a speech in front of a group of about 20 people and got good laughs. How tf I did that when I've never done public speaking ever and find it utterly terrifying, especially in front of some random strangers, I will never know. I also feel more at ease with myself then I've ever done before, why? it just happened lol. Brains are weird. It is nice to know that there are similar people out there I also feel like I'm missing out on stuff too, especially in terms of the uni 'experience' like wild nights out, friends, stories etc. But I guess that's life. It is what you make of it: there's still lots of things to do. And friends aside I'm enjoying my course and the city so it's not all bad.

Bristol was my first choice funnily enough so we could have been friends in another timeline xD Ah well. I'm currently at Manchester
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by frantika)
haha exactly! Like the 2nd week I volunteered to do a speech in front of a group of about 20 people and got good laughs. How tf I did that when I've never done public speaking ever and find it utterly terrifying, especially in front of some random strangers, I will never know. I also feel more at ease with myself then I've ever done before, why? it just happened lol. Brains are weird. It is nice to know that there are similar people out there I also feel like I'm missing out on stuff too, especially in terms of the uni 'experience' like wild nights out, friends, stories etc. But I guess that's life. It is what you make of it: there's still lots of things to do. And friends aside I'm enjoying my course and the city so it's not all bad.

Bristol was my first choice funnily enough so we could have been friends in another timeline xD Ah well. I'm currently at Manchester
Ah that’s a shame, was fully convinced you went to Bristol there😂 and yeah I feel like they push the uni experience way too much, most people I know really don’t look like they enjoy nights out that much lol but they still go. I really like my course and the city as well so it’s kind of what’s keeping me going for sure.

Here’s to us for the second semester though!! Hope it gets better from here on, I’ve heard second semester is way better than first so I hope everything goes well for you.
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frantika
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ah that’s a shame, was fully convinced you went to Bristol there😂 and yeah I feel like they push the uni experience way too much, most people I know really don’t look like they enjoy nights out that much lol but they still go. I really like my course and the city as well so it’s kind of what’s keeping me going for sure.

Here’s to us for the second semester though!! Hope it gets better from here on, I’ve heard second semester is way better than first so I hope everything goes well for you.
Yeah I thought you were going to say Manchester haha. I mean, I do enjoy nights out and the occasional sesh, but there are so many people I've met who live for absolutely nothing else! Ah well, just got to keep going. Best of luck to you, it would be nice to check and see how we get on later
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cherlloydfan1
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hey I'm at uni and I haven't made any friends either but most of the people on my course are older than me cos I'm doing a masters degree
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by frantika)
Yeah I thought you were going to say Manchester haha. I mean, I do enjoy nights out and the occasional sesh, but there are so many people I've met who live for absolutely nothing else! Ah well, just got to keep going. Best of luck to you, it would be nice to check and see how we get on later
Yeah that’s true, and definitely! Hope by the end of the term we’re doing better☺️
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