narcissistic parents or weird parent relationship
What do you guys know about this? I think my mother or father is?
reasons:
1.)inappropriate conversation when I was younger towards me including family relationships ie how I should act or dislike. I even remember as young as 7 talking about sex not related to the birds and the bees. I'm not saying this was abusive but it was highly innapropriate, it's how girls would talk to one another.
2.)made me be friends with other people's children who she was friends with, who I really didn't like and bullies me
3.) get me on my own and change my opinion about friends I was with
4.) would get Involved and still does in my personal life and violates boundaries.
5.) completely denies things I have evidence of.
6.) dismissed any kind of emotion I had, that would somehow seem to make her look bad ie I have reports of school where they try to get me help and I remember conversation s of my mother telling me "oh miss xxxx just does like boys" as if my performance some how reflected badly on her. I don't remember her as anything other than trying to be supportive.
7.) no privacy existed. 18 years old and would just burst in my room. I could t have a lock
8.) starts an argument to upset me and makes it all about her.
9.) I get rewarded for showing no emotion or distress. ie if I suffer in silence I would find things so much easier, sweets they keep in their room would appear in the cupboards.
10.) all ways compares me to others to try and hint how I should be.
11.) when we moved as a kid my parents never consulted me they didn't let me tell my friends I was moving?!? why!? I couldn't say bye, when asked if I wanted to say goodbye to one of my best friends I was talked out of it.
12.) when I had attempted suicide when younger as a cry for help I was told what to say by my parents to not get help.
13.) I also believe she talks about me to the family and portrays me another way.
14.) two years ago I went to family event and told to be careful what you say to xxxx for no apparent reason.
15.) I cannot reason with either parent,. they will never see my point of view.
16.) iv never done any meaningful bonding with either parent. I was always well fed when I was younger. I just don't remember doing anything together.
17.) they try to use me for financial gain, not directly I mean how he would use my PayPal account to avoid his income dont, althought it wasn't really why. I don't want to discuss other examples of how also.
18.) went through my payment history of years prior and discussed things o had paid for.
19.) since teenager I always felt the need to buy my parents expensive holiday presents.
20.) when I was younger my dad tried to make out my car was broken with bad steering when I wanted to drive to see my friend located miles away. he wanted to check the car and while driving tried to make out the steering was going to the curb. not joking a genuine attempt to decieve me.
21.) I went to schools, college and university I didn't want to do courses in or it wasn't discussed.
22.) made to feel I have enemies that are people they just don't like, when I should t have to worry about these things.
do any of you guys relate to this?
reasons:
1.)inappropriate conversation when I was younger towards me including family relationships ie how I should act or dislike. I even remember as young as 7 talking about sex not related to the birds and the bees. I'm not saying this was abusive but it was highly innapropriate, it's how girls would talk to one another.
2.)made me be friends with other people's children who she was friends with, who I really didn't like and bullies me
3.) get me on my own and change my opinion about friends I was with
4.) would get Involved and still does in my personal life and violates boundaries.
5.) completely denies things I have evidence of.
6.) dismissed any kind of emotion I had, that would somehow seem to make her look bad ie I have reports of school where they try to get me help and I remember conversation s of my mother telling me "oh miss xxxx just does like boys" as if my performance some how reflected badly on her. I don't remember her as anything other than trying to be supportive.
7.) no privacy existed. 18 years old and would just burst in my room. I could t have a lock
8.) starts an argument to upset me and makes it all about her.
9.) I get rewarded for showing no emotion or distress. ie if I suffer in silence I would find things so much easier, sweets they keep in their room would appear in the cupboards.
10.) all ways compares me to others to try and hint how I should be.
11.) when we moved as a kid my parents never consulted me they didn't let me tell my friends I was moving?!? why!? I couldn't say bye, when asked if I wanted to say goodbye to one of my best friends I was talked out of it.
12.) when I had attempted suicide when younger as a cry for help I was told what to say by my parents to not get help.
13.) I also believe she talks about me to the family and portrays me another way.
14.) two years ago I went to family event and told to be careful what you say to xxxx for no apparent reason.
15.) I cannot reason with either parent,. they will never see my point of view.
16.) iv never done any meaningful bonding with either parent. I was always well fed when I was younger. I just don't remember doing anything together.
17.) they try to use me for financial gain, not directly I mean how he would use my PayPal account to avoid his income dont, althought it wasn't really why. I don't want to discuss other examples of how also.
18.) went through my payment history of years prior and discussed things o had paid for.
19.) since teenager I always felt the need to buy my parents expensive holiday presents.
20.) when I was younger my dad tried to make out my car was broken with bad steering when I wanted to drive to see my friend located miles away. he wanted to check the car and while driving tried to make out the steering was going to the curb. not joking a genuine attempt to decieve me.
21.) I went to schools, college and university I didn't want to do courses in or it wasn't discussed.
22.) made to feel I have enemies that are people they just don't like, when I should t have to worry about these things.
do any of you guys relate to this?
Hey there. Thank god I haven't experienced any family issues to this extent - I really feel for your situation.
A lot of these points imply that they have (however subtly) tried to make you less independent, failed to establish a proper family relationship with appropriate boundaries, and trying to strip away your identity.
What's really disturbing to me is I watched a video from a former therapist recently on the issue of infantilisation for psychology, and a lot of the points do relate to what you're going through. You might not find it useful to your exact situation, but if you're interested, here it is. Personal reflection will mean a lot more than mine or others opinions, but here's hoping you'll stay strong x
A lot of these points imply that they have (however subtly) tried to make you less independent, failed to establish a proper family relationship with appropriate boundaries, and trying to strip away your identity.
What's really disturbing to me is I watched a video from a former therapist recently on the issue of infantilisation for psychology, and a lot of the points do relate to what you're going through. You might not find it useful to your exact situation, but if you're interested, here it is. Personal reflection will mean a lot more than mine or others opinions, but here's hoping you'll stay strong x
what is weirder she actually fake said sorry for this the other day, but will still do it.i can't financially get away, it's like I'm losing years of my life. I even told them they are the reason I cut myself yet they ignored that and more worried about the house, I just get so stressed loving with them it's horrible. I just feel trapped. I have ironically had to say how I feel and it's often in an argument, they have zero empathy. do you have the video?
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