How to handle control freak dad + nose piercing?

I’ll keep it as short as i can so lmk if you’ve got questions:

So my dad is a control freak who uses threats to get his own way. He has the “I’m a man and your parent so you have to look and walk how I want you to”

I’ve been asking for a nose stud for two years now (I’m 19) and my sister(who lives in uni) got one (she’s the narcissistic type that loves to copy people but that’s a whole other story lol)

This made me realise that she has never had to ask permission for things like this and that pushed me to finally book a nose stud for myself! I’m super excited but also want to figure out how to tell my dad I’m getting one.

He’s threatened to kick me out over a hair trim so I feel like the best way to go about this is to let him know before hand so he can get the inevitable tantrum out of his system by the time I actually get it done.

Can anybody else with controlling parents tell me the nest way to go about this?

Reply 1

sanct1fy

As someone who has extremely controlling parents, I'm not too sure what you can do with that since you're 19 years old. I know you obviously can't bring the "I'm an adult" card out, but in the past, to get past things that my parents would never let me do or wear or whatever it may be is to just do it. My parents didn't even let me out of the house to meet my friends unless they knew them and I went out for an hour or less, and it wasn't far away etc., ultimately I just went against it and did it anyway (multiple times) which pushed them to eventually become more lenient about it. Perhaps that's the same with things like this...you could do a couple of things for yourself (dye your hair without asking him, wear clothes he might not like etc.) and the more he sees that you'll do it anyway and the fact that you're 19 could play a big role in him becoming more lenient towards those things...that's IF he does. This is only from my side and experience though, you should think about what you want to do carefully and maybe even think about moving out if you live with someone who is stopping you from living your own life.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 2

Blueclueless

Original post by sanct1fy

As someone who has extremely controlling parents, I'm not too sure what you can do with that since your 19 years old. I know you obviously can't bring the "I'm an adult" card out, but in the past, to get past things that my parents would never let me do or wear or whatever it may be is to just do it. My parents didn't even let me out of the house to meet my friends unless they knew them and I went out for an hour or less, and it wasn't far away etc., ultimately I just went against it and did it anyway (multiple times) which pushed them to eventually become more lenient about it. Perhaps that's the same with things like this...you could do a couple of things for yourself (dye your hair without asking him, wear clothes he might not like etc.) and the more he sees that you'll do it anyway and the fact that you're 19 could play a big role in him becoming more lenient towards those things...that's IF he does. This is only from my side and experience though, you should think about what you want to do carefully and maybe even think about moving out if you live with someone who is stopping you from living your own life.

I cut and dye my own hair (got threatened over that too) but he’s always screamed at me for hours over it which triggers panic attacks. I’m also worried that he’ll make an effort to throw something on my face to infect it or try to force me to take it out

I’m a full time student right now and my cousin has already offered a room in her student housing in Cardiff if I get kicked out which is nice

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 3

t_dawg_

Original post by Blueclueless

I’ll keep it as short as i can so lmk if you’ve got questions:
So my dad is a control freak who uses threats to get his own way. He has the “I’m a man and your parent so you have to look and walk how I want you to”
I’ve been asking for a nose stud for two years now (I’m 19) and my sister(who lives in uni) got one (she’s the narcissistic type that loves to copy people but that’s a whole other story lol)
This made me realise that she has never had to ask permission for things like this and that pushed me to finally book a nose stud for myself! I’m super excited but also want to figure out how to tell my dad I’m getting one.
He’s threatened to kick me out over a hair trim so I feel like the best way to go about this is to let him know before hand so he can get the inevitable tantrum out of his system by the time I actually get it done.
Can anybody else with controlling parents tell me the nest way to go about this?

This is my issue right now, my dad does the same thing. I'm 18 but he would literally rip it out of my nose so idk what to do.