Male colleague keeps calling me 'sweetheart'
Just for context, he is a (young) doctor and i'm a student nurse. He sometimes calls me by my name but other times he calls me 'sweetheart'. I can't tell if he means it in a nice way or in a condescending way.
The other day, I was just doing my own thing and he came over to ask if i'm okay. I replied yes and then he kept questioning me, saying "Are you sure?", "Really?", "Are you sure?". It made me feel uncomfortable because he made me feel like I was incapable of taking basic observations from a patient, even though I knew I was doing it correctly. Then he said "Okay, sweetheart" and walked away.
Another example is when he held a door open for me and I said "Thank you". He replied "You're welcome, sweetheart". I don't know why he keeps calling me sweetheart. He only seems to be a few years older than me, so it's not like he's an old person who calls all young women "sweetheart" and "darling".
He also tried to embarrass me in front of other colleagues. I get along quite well with the other nurses, some who are male. This doctor called me out in front of everyone on shift that day, saying I should spend "less time flirting with the male nurses". I wasn't even flirting with them- we were just talking and joking like normal friends/colleagues do.
Ugh he is just starting to annoy me but I don't know what to say to him without seeming unprofessional because at the end of the day, I still have to work around him for 12 hours at a time.
The other day, I was just doing my own thing and he came over to ask if i'm okay. I replied yes and then he kept questioning me, saying "Are you sure?", "Really?", "Are you sure?". It made me feel uncomfortable because he made me feel like I was incapable of taking basic observations from a patient, even though I knew I was doing it correctly. Then he said "Okay, sweetheart" and walked away.
Another example is when he held a door open for me and I said "Thank you". He replied "You're welcome, sweetheart". I don't know why he keeps calling me sweetheart. He only seems to be a few years older than me, so it's not like he's an old person who calls all young women "sweetheart" and "darling".
He also tried to embarrass me in front of other colleagues. I get along quite well with the other nurses, some who are male. This doctor called me out in front of everyone on shift that day, saying I should spend "less time flirting with the male nurses". I wasn't even flirting with them- we were just talking and joking like normal friends/colleagues do.
Ugh he is just starting to annoy me but I don't know what to say to him without seeming unprofessional because at the end of the day, I still have to work around him for 12 hours at a time.
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He sounds like a bullying creep.
Does he do this to other female hospital staff members too (nurses, admin staff or junior doctors)?
Does he do this to other female hospital staff members too (nurses, admin staff or junior doctors)?
Original post by Anonymous
Just for context, he is a (young) doctor and i'm a student nurse. He sometimes calls me by my name but other times he calls me 'sweetheart'. I can't tell if he means it in a nice way or in a condescending way.
The other day, I was just doing my own thing and he came over to ask if i'm okay. I replied yes and then he kept questioning me, saying "Are you sure?", "Really?", "Are you sure?". It made me feel uncomfortable because he made me feel like I was incapable of taking basic observations from a patient, even though I knew I was doing it correctly. Then he said "Okay, sweetheart" and walked away.
Another example is when he held a door open for me and I said "Thank you". He replied "You're welcome, sweetheart". I don't know why he keeps calling me sweetheart. He only seems to be a few years older than me, so it's not like he's an old person who calls all young women "sweetheart" and "darling".
He also tried to embarrass me in front of other colleagues. I get along quite well with the other nurses, some who are male. This doctor called me out in front of everyone on shift that day, saying I should spend "less time flirting with the male nurses". I wasn't even flirting with them- we were just talking and joking like normal friends/colleagues do.
Ugh he is just starting to annoy me but I don't know what to say to him without seeming unprofessional because at the end of the day, I still have to work around him for 12 hours at a time.
The other day, I was just doing my own thing and he came over to ask if i'm okay. I replied yes and then he kept questioning me, saying "Are you sure?", "Really?", "Are you sure?". It made me feel uncomfortable because he made me feel like I was incapable of taking basic observations from a patient, even though I knew I was doing it correctly. Then he said "Okay, sweetheart" and walked away.
Another example is when he held a door open for me and I said "Thank you". He replied "You're welcome, sweetheart". I don't know why he keeps calling me sweetheart. He only seems to be a few years older than me, so it's not like he's an old person who calls all young women "sweetheart" and "darling".
He also tried to embarrass me in front of other colleagues. I get along quite well with the other nurses, some who are male. This doctor called me out in front of everyone on shift that day, saying I should spend "less time flirting with the male nurses". I wasn't even flirting with them- we were just talking and joking like normal friends/colleagues do.
Ugh he is just starting to annoy me but I don't know what to say to him without seeming unprofessional because at the end of the day, I still have to work around him for 12 hours at a time.
Does he do it to anyone else?
If it makes you feel uncomfortable then just ask him if he wouldnt mind calling you by your name as you would prefer that. You dont have to make any suggestion about it other than you asking him to change.
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Just for context, he is a (young) doctor and i'm a student nurse. He sometimes calls me by my name but other times he calls me 'sweetheart'. I can't tell if he means it in a nice way or in a condescending way.
The other day, I was just doing my own thing and he came over to ask if i'm okay. I replied yes and then he kept questioning me, saying "Are you sure?", "Really?", "Are you sure?". It made me feel uncomfortable because he made me feel like I was incapable of taking basic observations from a patient, even though I knew I was doing it correctly. Then he said "Okay, sweetheart" and walked away.
Another example is when he held a door open for me and I said "Thank you". He replied "You're welcome, sweetheart". I don't know why he keeps calling me sweetheart. He only seems to be a few years older than me, so it's not like he's an old person who calls all young women "sweetheart" and "darling".
He also tried to embarrass me in front of other colleagues. I get along quite well with the other nurses, some who are male. This doctor called me out in front of everyone on shift that day, saying I should spend "less time flirting with the male nurses". I wasn't even flirting with them- we were just talking and joking like normal friends/colleagues do.
Ugh he is just starting to annoy me but I don't know what to say to him without seeming unprofessional because at the end of the day, I still have to work around him for 12 hours at a time.
The other day, I was just doing my own thing and he came over to ask if i'm okay. I replied yes and then he kept questioning me, saying "Are you sure?", "Really?", "Are you sure?". It made me feel uncomfortable because he made me feel like I was incapable of taking basic observations from a patient, even though I knew I was doing it correctly. Then he said "Okay, sweetheart" and walked away.
Another example is when he held a door open for me and I said "Thank you". He replied "You're welcome, sweetheart". I don't know why he keeps calling me sweetheart. He only seems to be a few years older than me, so it's not like he's an old person who calls all young women "sweetheart" and "darling".
He also tried to embarrass me in front of other colleagues. I get along quite well with the other nurses, some who are male. This doctor called me out in front of everyone on shift that day, saying I should spend "less time flirting with the male nurses". I wasn't even flirting with them- we were just talking and joking like normal friends/colleagues do.
Ugh he is just starting to annoy me but I don't know what to say to him without seeming unprofessional because at the end of the day, I still have to work around him for 12 hours at a time.
is it not obvious?
he fancies you.
The fact that he started getting angry when he perceived you to be flirting with other males is the writing on wall really..
Original post by ANM775
is it not obvious?
he fancies you.
The fact that he started getting angry when he perceived you to be flirting with other males is the writing on wall really..
he fancies you.
The fact that he started getting angry when he perceived you to be flirting with other males is the writing on wall really..
I was thinking the same lol He seems to be paying a lot of attention to her...
OP i beg you flirt with one of the nurses or something that will trigger him. be like 'yes we were flirting' and grab his arm jokingly*. get the male nurse in on the act.
or just bait him out.
or just bait him out.
Original post by ANM775
is it not obvious?
he fancies you.
The fact that he started getting angry when he perceived you to be flirting with other males is the writing on wall really..
he fancies you.
The fact that he started getting angry when he perceived you to be flirting with other males is the writing on wall really..
Oh, well that makes it even more awkward if he does.
If he does fancy me, he has a strange way of showing it. Most colleagues are very friendly and welcoming to me, whereas he acts like i've done something to annoy him 24/7. He seems friendly and 'normal' with everyone else though.
Yesterday he shouted "Come here, nursie" to me across the corridor, just to mansplain how to use hand sanitiser.
I wouldn't think much of it? I always call people 'love', even blokes, particularly over the phone, and it doesn't mean much.
But, having said that, if you find his tone of voice creepy or condescending, then it's not ideal and, should things get worse in any way, perhaps talk to a mutual superior of some type? Look after yourself!
But, having said that, if you find his tone of voice creepy or condescending, then it's not ideal and, should things get worse in any way, perhaps talk to a mutual superior of some type? Look after yourself!
Yeah he definitely likes you, but "sweetheart" is very condescending and I've actually experienced this myself (not in the same circumstances) last year in uni when my lecturer (not much older than me, in his 20's) kept calling me and many of the other women "sweetheart" and "hun" so you're not alone. It seems as if he doesn't know how to behave around a woman he fancies and has a toxic way of expressing his "feelings". It's almost like it's secondary school when a guy fancies you and his only known way of expressing it is through teasing and bullying.
Original post by londonmyst
He sounds like a bullying creep.
Does he do this to other female hospital staff members too (nurses, admin staff or junior doctors)?
Does he do this to other female hospital staff members too (nurses, admin staff or junior doctors)?
Original post by 999tigger
Does he do it to anyone else?
If it makes you feel uncomfortable then just ask him if he wouldnt mind calling you by your name as you would prefer that. You dont have to make any suggestion about it other than you asking him to change.
If it makes you feel uncomfortable then just ask him if he wouldnt mind calling you by your name as you would prefer that. You dont have to make any suggestion about it other than you asking him to change.
He doesn't seem to do it to anyone else.
I told him yesterday that I don't want to be called 'sweetheart' and he replied "oh, that's a shame". He has stopped but started calling me "nursie" later on in the day.
Report him to your manager he is a little bully he thinks he is better than everyone else and he is not your boss take no more of his crap he needs to be brought down a peg or two
Original post by Anonymous
Just for context, he is a (young) doctor and i'm a student nurse. He sometimes calls me by my name but other times he calls me 'sweetheart'. I can't tell if he means it in a nice way or in a condescending way.
The other day, I was just doing my own thing and he came over to ask if i'm okay. I replied yes and then he kept questioning me, saying "Are you sure?", "Really?", "Are you sure?". It made me feel uncomfortable because he made me feel like I was incapable of taking basic observations from a patient, even though I knew I was doing it correctly. Then he said "Okay, sweetheart" and walked away.
Another example is when he held a door open for me and I said "Thank you". He replied "You're welcome, sweetheart". I don't know why he keeps calling me sweetheart. He only seems to be a few years older than me, so it's not like he's an old person who calls all young women "sweetheart" and "darling".
He also tried to embarrass me in front of other colleagues. I get along quite well with the other nurses, some who are male. This doctor called me out in front of everyone on shift that day, saying I should spend "less time flirting with the male nurses". I wasn't even flirting with them- we were just talking and joking like normal friends/colleagues do.
Ugh he is just starting to annoy me but I don't know what to say to him without seeming unprofessional because at the end of the day, I still have to work around him for 12 hours at a time.
The other day, I was just doing my own thing and he came over to ask if i'm okay. I replied yes and then he kept questioning me, saying "Are you sure?", "Really?", "Are you sure?". It made me feel uncomfortable because he made me feel like I was incapable of taking basic observations from a patient, even though I knew I was doing it correctly. Then he said "Okay, sweetheart" and walked away.
Another example is when he held a door open for me and I said "Thank you". He replied "You're welcome, sweetheart". I don't know why he keeps calling me sweetheart. He only seems to be a few years older than me, so it's not like he's an old person who calls all young women "sweetheart" and "darling".
He also tried to embarrass me in front of other colleagues. I get along quite well with the other nurses, some who are male. This doctor called me out in front of everyone on shift that day, saying I should spend "less time flirting with the male nurses". I wasn't even flirting with them- we were just talking and joking like normal friends/colleagues do.
Ugh he is just starting to annoy me but I don't know what to say to him without seeming unprofessional because at the end of the day, I still have to work around him for 12 hours at a time.
This happens to me at work in the hospital too. Just ignore it . It’s easier said than done, but talk to him and say how you find it condensing.
Next time he calls you something you don’t like- say “I don’t think my fiancée would like someone saying that to me”. This response is 99% likely to make him never flirt with you again, if that’s what you would like.
He definitely likes you :/
Original post by Scottishlad888
Report him to your manager he is a little bully he thinks he is better than everyone else and he is not your boss take no more of his crap he needs to be brought down a peg or two
He is annoying and arrogant but I think it's a bit extreme to report him for bullying. I don't want my manager or colleagues to think i'm a snowflake.
He isn't particularly mean, just more annoying like he's trying to get a reaction out of me. But i'm a calm person so I don't react lmao. A couple of weeks ago, I was trying to reach something on a shelf and he got it down for me without me asking. I thought that was nice but then he starting saying "These shelves aren't designed for short people". I replied "I'm not short, I am 5''7. You are just abnormally tall" to annoy him. Then he stared at me intensely for a few seconds before saying "You are a petite lady". He doesn't want/like to admit he is wrong.
Original post by Thecrazydoughnut
This happens to me at work in the hospital too. Just ignore it . It’s easier said than done, but talk to him and say how you find it condensing.
Ik...it really hard for her to say because she is working with him and if she reports him to the manager and nothing happens,she will go through a lot of trouble so it better to just sign him that u have a bf or something,so that he stops teasing with u for whatever name
I think "sweetheart" is rather harmless. I got called sweetheart often, by a colleague, although I am male. But she was attractive! And a lot older than me. So I didn't mind. But I can see why you would find him rather condescending and abhorrent. He sounds like a repulsive person. 
Original post by Anonymous
He doesn't seem to do it to anyone else.
I told him yesterday that I don't want to be called 'sweetheart' and he replied "oh, that's a shame". He has stopped but started calling me "nursie" later on in the day.
I told him yesterday that I don't want to be called 'sweetheart' and he replied "oh, that's a shame". He has stopped but started calling me "nursie" later on in the day.
Just ask him to call you by your name. If not report to manager or senior nurse to have a word with him. Its obviously disrespectful and immature. he is doing it deliberately. He should grow up.
Original post by Anonymous
Oh, well that makes it even more awkward if he does.
If he does fancy me, he has a strange way of showing it. Most colleagues are very friendly and welcoming to me, whereas he acts like i've done something to annoy him 24/7. He seems friendly and 'normal' with everyone else though.
Yesterday he shouted "Come here, nursie" to me across the corridor, just to mansplain how to use hand sanitiser.
If he does fancy me, he has a strange way of showing it. Most colleagues are very friendly and welcoming to me, whereas he acts like i've done something to annoy him 24/7. He seems friendly and 'normal' with everyone else though.
Yesterday he shouted "Come here, nursie" to me across the corridor, just to mansplain how to use hand sanitiser.
He called you "nursie". Ew what a creep!
Original post by Mustafa0605
Next time he calls you something you don’t like- say “I don’t think my fiancée would like someone saying that to me”. This response is 99% likely to make him never flirt with you again, if that’s what you would like.
I think it is too late for that... my friend who is a hca in the same department already told him I am single. I messaged her this evening to rant about him and she said he has been asking questions about me, like if i'm seeing anyone and what I like to do at the weekend (idk why he couldn't ask me this directly lmao).
He is quite good looking (not gonna lie), but his attitude and arrogance are sooo bad.
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