The Student Room Group

my colleague is being openly misandrist and I don't know how to respond

I started a job a few weeks ago, along with a handful of others in a new department. It's been going really well and I've been getting along with everybody, but lately something is starting to grate at me.

So I sit on a row with 3 girls, I'm the only guy. We're all of a similar age (early to mid twenties) and have been getting along well. I chat with them about work and other things in general. I've always got along great with women, having grown up with 3 sisters and had many friends who were girls growing up.

However, in the past few days one of them is starting to make comments that are making me grit my teeth. The girl who sits two seats away from me, about 21 years old and just graduated from Brighton University is openly displaying her hatred of men in general. A few examples of the comments she has made this week while in discussion with the other girls are,

"White men are cancer in our society."

" I swear there are too many men here (in the office)" even though it's actually about 2/3 women, and both managers are women.

Regarding some celebrity "I love that she hates men as much as I do"

I've overheard more comments but I feel like these are enough of an example. Anyway, it's making me feel really uncomfortable. She's nice when talking to me, and hasn't said anything negative directly to me...but I'm finding it hard not to speak up and challenge her narrowminded attitude when I keep hearing her make these comments two seats away from me, in discussion with the person next to me. Are these the thoughts she has about me? Am I a bad person in her mind because I'm male? It's going to be difficult to get along cohesively with a colleague who openly despises you.

I don't know what to do or say. On the one hand, I know that it's not worth pulling myself into because I need this job and speaking up about it may very easily get me canned. However, it's getting uncomfortable hearing her openly hate numerous times per day, and then forcing myself to smile and get along with her and the other girls.
Original post by Yojmoj
I started a job a few weeks ago, along with a handful of others in a new department. It's been going really well and I've been getting along with everybody, but lately something is starting to grate at me.

So I sit on a row with 3 girls, I'm the only guy. We're all of a similar age (early to mid twenties) and have been getting along well. I chat with them about work and other things in general. I've always got along great with women, having grown up with 3 sisters and had many friends who were girls growing up.

However, in the past few days one of them is starting to make comments that are making me grit my teeth. The girl who sits two seats away from me, about 21 years old and just graduated from Brighton University is openly displaying her hatred of men in general. A few examples of the comments she has made this week while in discussion with the other girls are,

"White men are cancer in our society."

" I swear there are too many men here (in the office)" even though it's actually about 2/3 women, and both managers are women.

Regarding some celebrity "I love that she hates men as much as I do"

I've overheard more comments but I feel like these are enough of an example. Anyway, it's making me feel really uncomfortable. She's nice when talking to me, and hasn't said anything negative directly to me...but I'm finding it hard not to speak up and challenge her narrowminded attitude when I keep hearing her make these comments two seats away from me, in discussion with the person next to me. Are these the thoughts she has about me? Am I a bad person in her mind because I'm male? It's going to be difficult to get along cohesively with a colleague who openly despises you.

I don't know what to do or say. On the one hand, I know that it's not worth pulling myself into because I need this job and speaking up about it may very easily get me canned. However, it's getting uncomfortable hearing her openly hate numerous times per day, and then forcing myself to smile and get along with her and the other girls.


Report their comments to human resources.
Original post by Anonymous
Report their comments to human resources.

I don't know if you've thought that through - so OP gets the lady in trouble or even sacked... and then has to go back to sitting next to her friends for the rest of their employment, if they think there's a bad atmosphere now... essentially this would almost certainly lead to the OP having to move job one way or another.

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