Please help! Does depression affect relationship?!

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Anonymous #1
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I’m normally a dramatic person. But recently I’ve been really problematic with my boyfriend impatient, irrated , been disliking him snd hating sex with him. I spoke to my doctor and he said I’m depressed I’ve been grieving my dad for 7 months so I’m thinking I might be in the 4th stage of grief my boyfriend is also grieving his sister whereas I am my dad ( died around same time). I was really getting put off him like I feel like I don’t even like or love him.

Should I just take it as I’m depressed or I just don’t like him anymore? I’ve never be depressed before so I don’t know how it would affect my relationship.

Please help!
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Pathway
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Sorry to hear about your loss. Yes, depression does often impact relationships. Are you getting any support for your MH issues? Bereavement counselling could be a good thing to make use of.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
Sorry to hear about your loss. Yes, depression does often impact relationships. Are you getting any support for your MH issues? Bereavement counselling could be a good thing to make use of.
Attachment 994342
Here it says it’s not mental health illness it’s just a normal response to loss.
This is such a weird feeling like honestly, I feel so sad and can’t sleep at all. I feel sick of my boyfriend everything he does annoys me I feel like I hate him when he does small things. Sexual things with him make me feel sick puts me off. I’m not satisfied afterwards it’s like straight away I go back to be sad
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Chamberlain3000
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yes, sorry about your dad. Maybe tell him your troubles. You should feel comfortable to talk to him about everything x
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
Sorry to hear about your loss. Yes, depression does often impact relationships. Are you getting any support for your MH issues? Bereavement counselling could be a good thing to make use of.
Ps. I’ve been with him all the time I’ve been grieving we got together about a month before the grieving. I feel bad thinking all these bad things of him when I know he cares about me. When we talk about our future together going on holidays and stuff I get excited snd can’t wait but then maybe days later or by end of that night I end up feeling all them bad things. ( I’m with him A lot but don’t live together). Now my doctor said I’m depressed it makes sense but I’ve never been before so I don’t know if it’s me just not liking him or depression
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Attachment 994342
Here it says it’s not mental health illness it’s just a normal response to loss.
This is such a weird feeling like honestly, I feel so sad and can’t sleep at all. I feel sick of my boyfriend everything he does annoys me I feel like I hate him when he does small things. Sexual things with him make me feel sick puts me off. I’m not satisfied afterwards it’s like straight away I go back to be sad
Technically speaking bereavement isn't an illness, no, but prolonged it can be considered a MH issue (it's usually known as complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder). I deal with something similar, although not due to the death of a parent.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Ps. I’ve been with him all the time I’ve been grieving we got together about a month before the grieving. I feel bad thinking all these bad things of him when I know he cares about me. When we talk about our future together going on holidays and stuff I get excited snd can’t wait but then maybe days later or by end of that night I end up feeling all them bad things. ( I’m with him A lot but don’t live together). Now my doctor said I’m depressed it makes sense but I’ve never been before so I don’t know if it’s me just not liking him or depression
I'd really recommend you speak to him about how you're feeling and also get therapy for what you're dealing with. A lot of charities are offering bereavement counselling due to the pandemic and there are various other charities you can look into that only deal with grief (e.g. people I know that went through the same loss(es) as me made use of UK SOBS).

It could be that you just don't like him anymore, but if it was that I don't think your reactions would be as severe as they sound, like if you just didn't like him anymore, you wouldn't hate the things he does. Does that make sense.

Anyway yeah, my advice is therapy (or counselling) and open communication with him. Good luck and I hope things improve for you soon.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
I'd really recommend you speak to him about how you're feeling and also get therapy for what you're dealing with. A lot of charities are offering bereavement counselling due to the pandemic and there are various other charities you can look into that only deal with grief (e.g. people I know that went through the same loss(es) as me made use of UK SOBS).

It could be that you just don't like him anymore, but if it was that I don't think your reactions would be as severe as they sound, like if you just didn't like him anymore, you wouldn't hate the things he does. Does that make sense.

Anyway yeah, my advice is therapy (or counselling) and open communication with him. Good luck and I hope things improve for you soon.
Problem between us is that I get easily frustrated and irritated with him. Everything he says just is wrong to me I bark back at everything he says. He said we need time away from eachother because we’ve been with eachother for weeks so I went home. But I just feel like he’s just doing that because he don’t want to deal with me snd my rudeness. How do I stop being so rude and problematic with him. I try so hard but I seem to fall back into this problematic person( ever since depression) he says I’m this and that but it’s the depression doing it to me I can’t help it but then it’s not an excuse to treat people like ****
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Problem between us is that I get easily frustrated and irritated with him. Everything he says just is wrong to me I bark back at everything he says. He said we need time away from eachother because we’ve been with eachother for weeks so I went home. But I just feel like he’s just doing that because he don’t want to deal with me snd my rudeness. How do I stop being so rude and problematic with him. I try so hard but I seem to fall back into this problematic person( ever since depression) he says I’m this and that but it’s the depression doing it to me I can’t help it but then it’s not an excuse to treat people like ****
It might just be the wrong time to be in a relationship tbh. You need to work on yourself and heal your grief. As I've said before, work with a bereavement counsellor, there are loads of charities offering free services now, and your GP might even be able to sign post you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
It might just be the wrong time to be in a relationship tbh. You need to work on yourself and heal your grief. As I've said before, work with a bereavement counsellor, there are loads of charities offering free services now, and your GP might even be able to sign post you.
Yeah I feel as though the grief hasn’t caused me depression however it is one factor within it.
So do you feel I should leave the relationship?
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I feel as though the grief hasn’t caused me depression however it is one factor within it.
So do you feel I should leave the relationship?
That's up to you, but from what you've said, it doesn't sound healthy and you seem to be in a permanent state of being pissed off.

Again, if you feel the grief isn't the main thing for your depression, that's fine, but again, you need professional input, particularly as it's having a big impact in your personal life (e.g. what you've said ont his thread).
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
That's up to you, but from what you've said, it doesn't sound healthy and you seem to be in a permanent state of being pissed off.

Again, if you feel the grief isn't the main thing for your depression, that's fine, but again, you need professional input, particularly as it's having a big impact in your personal life (e.g. what you've said ont his thread).
Thank you.
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you.
I hope things improve for you. :hugs:
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