Am I pushing my parents away too much?

I'm hopefully going to uni next year. My sibling is already a uni student.

During lockdown my mum has gotten so much more clingy, always wanting to do things together. We walk almost everyday together (if she's not at work) and exercise together.

I'm starting to want to be more independent and I now prefer chilling with my boyfriend or friends/online friends more. Apart from the walks and exercise we only eat meals together.

Mum keeps asking me all the time if I wanna do something with her but usually I want alone time. I spend a lot of time in my study studying or gaming. I feel bad for saying no however my sibling has stopped doing things with us altogether apart from the odd family movie or two, leaving me as the only child to keep parents company (mum gets sick of dad a lot, it's been happening for years).

I'm not sure how to handle this situation at all, I want to make mum feel less alone as she doesn't have many friends outside of work and she's bored all the time. Any advice?

Reply 1

kandykissesxox

Honestly I can relate to your situation, my brother does a lot of things independently and I’m left having to entertain my parents now that I’m moved in back home (I love them a lot - but, I value my space a lot more).

She needs to face the situation head on and acclimatise to enjoying her own company, if I’m completely honest.

Much like yourself, I would rather spend my time with my s/o, at the end of the day there’s only so much you can do. It’s okay to spend time here and there, like I love the bones off my parents, but I don’t spend every minute of the day with them. I probably spend about an hour if that.

You have your life and personal interests too. Your well-being should be the upmost importance and priority.

Please do not take this out of context/ mistake the above for me telling you to cut off your parents - no. Just find a healthy balance.

I hope what I’ve mentioned somewhat helps with your current circumstances. Good luck; it will be fine. :smile:

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 2

MIKESPIKE10

Be honest with her. She wouldn't want you doing things you don't want to do, just to please her. Be brutally honest. Let her know you love her and will come back periodically when you’ve left the nest. Try and emphasise how lucky she is to have you around so much now and tell her not to take you for granted.