My mum sits on her phone on the toilet.

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
She’s 58. She had brain cancer two years ago and now suffers from brain damage e.g., struggling to complete her sentences and doing, well, sometimes disgusting things. Our house used to be so tidy, but now there are piles of clothes everywhere and I’m practically her number one carer and our cleaner. My dad said it’s fine for her to do that on the toilet, but that’s what teenagers do (I’m 18, however, and never had) and I just struggle to come to grips with their hygiene. I know my intolerance is to blame, but I’m going bloody insane in this house - I’m going to university soon, but my sister who I share a room with (she’s 20) wakes me up at 4am for her part-time supermarket job then doesn’t come home until midnight due to partying most nights, while I’m sat here reading books on Black Lives Matter and things that actually deserve attention in life. I think my family is ‘too far gone’ and I’ve reached depressive episodes over their behaviour. I need to leave. Sorry for the huge tangent - my mum just terrifies me sometimes.
0
reply
black tea
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#2
Report 4 weeks ago
#2
I think very few people would be outraged by the thought of using a phone in the bathroom these days,tbh.

It sounds like things are quite stressful for you at home at the moment? Are you getting any support with your carer role?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#3
(Original post by black tea)
I think very few people would be outraged by the thought of using a phone in the bathroom these days,tbh.

It sounds like things are quite stressful for you at home at the moment? Are you getting any support with your carer role?
You’re right. Sorry for overacting, I am struggling a lot at home rn and lack support hugely.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
You’re right. Sorry for overacting, I am struggling a lot at home rn and lack support hugely.
Overreacting *
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#5
Report 4 weeks ago
#5
aw im sorry. It must be tough be a carer. I understand because my mum has health issues and im also her 'carer' eventhough shes able to do stuff herself now. I think just ignore it. Try to explain that its gross. if shes clean whilst doing holding th phone i mean thats alright because i do that lol. But as you mentioned shes not the most hygieneic person, try to explain it to her. Idk what else to say lol
0
reply
black tea
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#6
Report 4 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
You’re right. Sorry for overacting, I am struggling a lot at home rn and lack support hugely.
Are there any young carer groups that you are contact with that might provide some support? It might be worth speaking to your GP about things - they might be able to point you in the right direction and perhaps arrange an OT assessment for your mum to get her some extra help and take some of the pressure off you.
0
reply
francesca89
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#7
Report 4 weeks ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
She’s 58. She had brain cancer two years ago and now suffers from brain damage e.g., struggling to complete her sentences and doing, well, sometimes disgusting things. Our house used to be so tidy, but now there are piles of clothes everywhere and I’m practically her number one carer and our cleaner. My dad said it’s fine for her to do that on the toilet, but that’s what teenagers do (I’m 18, however, and never had) and I just struggle to come to grips with their hygiene. I know my intolerance is to blame, but I’m going bloody insane in this house - I’m going to university soon, but my sister who I share a room with (she’s 20) wakes me up at 4am for her part-time supermarket job then doesn’t come home until midnight due to partying most nights, while I’m sat here reading books on Black Lives Matter and things that actually deserve attention in life. I think my family is ‘too far gone’ and I’ve reached depressive episodes over their behaviour. I need to leave. Sorry for the huge tangent - my mum just terrifies me sometimes.
check out the carers trust website, they might be able to help, and no you’re not at all overreacting, your thoughts and experiences are totally valid, it sounds like a really tough situation
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#8
Report 4 weeks ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
She’s 58. She had brain cancer two years ago and now suffers from brain damage e.g., struggling to complete her sentences and doing, well, sometimes disgusting things. Our house used to be so tidy, but now there are piles of clothes everywhere and I’m practically her number one carer and our cleaner. My dad said it’s fine for her to do that on the toilet, but that’s what teenagers do (I’m 18, however, and never had) and I just struggle to come to grips with their hygiene. I know my intolerance is to blame, but I’m going bloody insane in this house - I’m going to university soon, but my sister who I share a room with (she’s 20) wakes me up at 4am for her part-time supermarket job then doesn’t come home until midnight due to partying most nights, while I’m sat here reading books on Black Lives Matter and things that actually deserve attention in life. I think my family is ‘too far gone’ and I’ve reached depressive episodes over their behaviour. I need to leave. Sorry for the huge tangent - my mum just terrifies me sometimes.
My mums roughly the same age and uses her phone on the toilet too. I do it too so I can’t say much but I think it’s kinda normal. Just stay calm and continue studying, you will be rewarded soon
0
reply
𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓵𝓪𝓭𝔂
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#9
Report 4 weeks ago
#9
I dont use the phone whilst sat on the loo, but i know a few people in my family who do. I think it stems back to when people used to take up a newspaper to read back in the day. Same rules apply. As long as theres hand washing!.
Its not your mums fault her behaviour, but tbh is your dad pulling his weight too? Sounds like he isnt if you are doing the the caring and cleaning. Your sister is a big girl, she has to take responsibilities for herself. Perhaps you going to uni is a good thing. Sometimes its good to have a family shake up so people step up to the plate.
Your dad might pull his finger out, or maybe your sister even.

Are you going to halls? If you are please bear that in mind if you like keeping things clean. My daughter shares with 12, and I went round the other week. I would have needed Kim Woodburn. Smelt of fust, alcohol and curry. Empty champagne bottles on the table. bottle tops on the floor (and crumbs).Bathroom was decent though and bedroom was nice and clean. Just the communal kitchen. They have a rota, but I think they need to up their frequency.
0
reply
Delusion6
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#10
Report 4 weeks ago
#10
Just be grateful that she is still alive. A lot of people aren't that lucky to have a family member survive brain cancer, myself included.

I'm sorry that you're going through all that but your mother is brain damaged, this is not her fault. She didn't ask for this.

At least you have an out soon. Grin and bear it until you go to university.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How are you feeling about starting university this autumn?

Really excited (57)
22.71%
Excited but a bit nervous (114)
45.42%
Not bothered either way (33)
13.15%
I'm really nervous (47)
18.73%

Watched Threads

View All