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how can I tell if my co worker is attracted to me? he's male im female

Anonymous #1

Advice guys? what are the tell tales signs?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Constant eye contact
Being nice to you
Mirroring you
Asking you out for coffee

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

he gives me pro longed eye contact but im not sure if that's just the way he is... like some people just like to look into your eyes when they talk... how can I tell the difference?

Reply 3

Ghostlady

Not just looking into your eyes when talking, but holding your gaze longer than normal that it becomes flirty/awkward you have to look away.
Playing with their hair,
Sat towards you with their legs open is a good one, shows openess towards you and hes comfortable.

You mirror his movements, and hold his gaze back and smile. As time goes on, then ask him out :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

we don't get to see each other much because we work in different departments but when he has to contact me for something he seems to want to keep the conversion going.. but he hasn't asked anything about me really. like he doesn't go out of his way to find out more about me? but I get the impression he likes to talk to me but im not sure if he just likes talking to me or. he finds me attractive. I did notice him looking at my lower body when we talking the other day, he kept on glancing downward

Reply 5

Ghostlady

Original post by Anonymous

All good signs :smile:

just hold his gaze back. For now because its work hes keeping it work related and not got to the personal zone yet, but hes gauging if you like him back. Perhaps you could ask him about the euros, is he into football?

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

I don't know, tbh we have only recently met so don't really know much about him.. he's strange like I can't figure him out. he seems to stand close to me but I don't know if he invades everyones personal space like that... I dunno its really confusing

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

how is he gauging if I like him back?

Reply 8

anosmianAcrimony

Rather than speculating about whether he likes you, which you can do forever and which gets you nowhere, instead spend that time deciding whether you like him. If you don't, it really doesn't matter much whether he likes you; you can just treat him normally and if he makes an advance, rebuff him and go on with your day. If you do like him, which seems likely given you've made this thread, then make yourself known! Ask him out on a nice little casual date, take opportunities to talk to him, ask questions, and get to know him better. If it turns out he doesn't like-like you, you can then move on with a clear conscience and your worries and speculation will be settled.

Reply 9

Ghostlady

Original post by Anonymous

how is he gauging if I like him back?

Hold his gaze, you stand close to him, play with your hair as the physical flirty things. Perhaps you start the conversation into getting more personal. Examples are football. Even covid can have its moments, like discussing the nice weather and fave places to walk during lockdown. What you seen on TV. you heard this new tune on the radio the other day and its amazing, are you into ##### type of music?

Reply 10

ANM775

if you don't know how he feels about you and don't want to put yourself fully out there then you need to initiate flirting in order to gauge his interest.

by flirting you can test for receptibility without putting yourself all the way out there, and if you are getting nothing back, you know that he's not interested.

I remember doing that with a woman at one of my work places some years back. she had shown no signs of interest in me prior, but i was interested in her. i initiated flirting and was getting nothing back at all. in fact she started to seem a bit awkward and her friend came in to "rescue" her lmao.

after that it was obvious she wasn't interested so i decided to not ask her out and pretty much never spoke to her again lol.
do i regret it? no
suffering a bit of awkwardness when someone doesn't flirt back is far better than suffering a full blown rejection or suffering with that feeling of regret of not doing anything as you don't know if she would have liked you back if you had shown interest.