Relationship Help/ IS THIS A RED FLAG?

i appreciate this will be very long winded so anyone who sits through this till the end i’m already thankful. I’m 19 and my so is my girlfriend. we’ve been together for a whole year now but things have been happening over the course of the year together which have given my head something to think about, this has increased in the last few weeks or so since covid restrictions have opened up. I ask my friends about this and obviously being my mates they are always gunna stick up for me, i need an outsiders opinion and a non biased one. So the summary of what i’m about to tell you is ‘Is my girlfriend cheating/disloyal to me, and should i call it off’

over the course of us dating i’ve seen numerous times with my own eyes boys messaging her disrespectful stuff towards me, about what they want to do to her and all sorts, however until pulled up on it my girlfriend never chose to ignore these people or stick up for me, instead she’s carry on talking to them. I must mention i never saw with my own eyes any ‘flirty or cheating’ messages she had sent back, just messages from these boys and the fact she continues to talk to them. And it took more then once for me to pull her up on it for her to actually start blocking these boys and realising that it was hurting me. However she’s not an ugly girl, she gets messages from lads all the time but nowadays she is way more discrete about it. That’s number one

number two is there was this boy before we started talking who used to chat with her, and i know it’s private but intimate photos were exchanged between them both, however the lad lives up north so have never actually met. (it’s defo not a noncè tho trust me) they both use to chat very regularly whislt we were still together, until i caught him becoming one of the boys who would say disrespectful things about me, Again it took more then just one asking of her for her to actually eventually tell him it’s out of order and remove him. However at a later date me and my gf had a completely irrelevant argument of topic to all of this (as couples do) and ofcourse we were both angry. We then sorted it and that was that. However she was next to me once and i saw she was texting this guy on snapchat and angling her phone so i coukdnt see. I made her show me and she was really hesitant but had no choice as she new she couldn’t hide it so she gave in, i then held down the boys name so i could see his username and it was the lad she told me she had blocked. She had actually changed his name so i wouldn’t think anhtnjng of it. We had a huge row and i made her block him and as far as i’m aware that was it. As i said this guy is from up north (newcastle) and a few weeks back my gf told me her and her mates were planning to go on a weekend away drinking uo in newcastle. And as she was the only one who drives and hassnt been driving that long i wassnt too keen as we live in the south coast so that’s a very long drive, however she was incredibly keen on wanting to go. I did bring up to her about this guy who lives up there and asked if that was why she wanted to go, she obviously told me no and what not, but i was very weary and eventually after discussion she settled on going to leeds instead (which still is not far from newcastle at all but i felt as tho i’m not going to be one of them controlling guys) this trip is due to happen 2 weeks from now, should i be worried?

number 3 is she’s now started going clubbing again since they’ve opened and every night has always ended up with random groups of lads for the entire night. I know this because she puts them over her snap story. one time when me and her were out for a meal we were having banter taking the piss out of eachother and i made a joke about plastering girls all over my socials when i go out on the lash. She was understandably very hurt and annoyed and i realised i may have gone to far. We had a row over jt but sorted it out. Anyway after this row she legit does what she said she wouldn’t want me doing, plastering random lads all over her socials. She’s been to pubs and stuff all the time since they have opened and 90% of the time always ends up with a random group of lads, and can i mention to this date it’s always been lads, never girls. Anyway about a week ago she actually ended up going back to these random lads houses with her mates. I was obviously taken back by this and hurt as i know if it was the other way round i would have been in the dog house. At first she coukdnt see anhtnjng wrong bevahse “she diddnt do anhtnjng with them” but eventually after me standing my ground she apologised. And then last night, once again after having a huge row no more then week ago about her respect for me when she’s out, she’s gone out and spent the night clubbing with random boys again. I need to mention too that whenever she meets these lads they always seem to exchange socials with eachother. Some of these lads i’ve even caught ‘agaun’ saying disrespectful things about me to her, and her continuing to ‘again’ chat to them. The bit that hurts me most is that i know if it was the other way round she would be incredibly hurt and annoyed, and i’ve told her this and she has agreed. But she still does it. she has also once at a party we were both at, left the party and diddnt tell me to get in this lads car on her own (i did know the guy) they were both very drunk and were actually going to drive to this place about 15 minutes away until i caught them with my mates and told them how stupid that is!

Obviously there are a few more things but i cannot list them all or i’ll be her for a while but it’s just more things when it comes too continuing to chat to lads who have said disrespectful things to me etc.

I would like to know from an outsiders view if i’m just a controlling insecure lad, or if there is something going on where actually i’m perfectly rational to be thinking what i am. I beat myself up about it thinking i’m a horrible person. And please don’t give me the response of ‘talk to her tell you how you feel’ bevahse i have but something new always comes up. When we are good we are good, she has a lovely family, we do things together and what not. But too much of this other stuff is happening and i don’t know what to do. She goes off to uni soon and she’s excited mainly and only really about the party life of it. So i’m very nervous. And for this leeds trip too. I appreciate it’s hard to give the best opinion considering you don’t know us a couple, but just from what i’ve said i need to know if i’m a massive C*nt and deserve no one, or if i’m being disrespected, thank you.