Is this really shallow of me?

So iv been speaking to this girl, tbh from text I wasn’t 100% sure but I do believe in giving people a chance irl, because you never know.

Ok the date she told me her uncle paid for her to get a PT so she can lose weight because he said no guys going to want to marry you if your fat. He also funded for her to get lip filler and tbh it’s just made me less interested in her because it feels like she’s got no other options. I was already not super into her to begin with but this just further puts me off.

Reply 1

irismcnab

16

yeah I can see how that dynamic and backstory seems a bit weird and tragic. There's no point just going out with her out of pity if u don't like her - it's better to end it early if ur not into her i think

Reply 2

irismcnab

16

also her uncle paid for her to get lip filler?! That's so strange and controlling and doesn't even look good

Reply 3

username3113184

16

Okay. It seems to me like you're being put off because of the instability in her life and the fact she seems to be being controlled/shamed by her uncle. Which is fair enough. It's your choice. If you're not interested, you're not interested. You put it a bit strangely though. That you're put off because it seems like she has "no other options".

I can't read this without feeling sad for her.

Reply 4

londonmyst

19

No, it's not shallow. :smile:

It is fine that you don't find her attractive and are totally turned off by her family members efforts to improve her appearance through cosmetic enhancements & a personal trainer.
There are plenty more single fish in the dating sea, for you and for her.

Do bear in mind that women often look very different irl with their makeup off and no social media photo filters.
Not everyone is born naturally good looking, slim and with the right genetics that enable automatic conformity with the most popular beauty standards in terms of body structure and visually appealing facial features.

Reply 5

myhairispeng

13

End it. Give her closure and be reassuring so this doesn't affect her too much.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

So iv been speaking to this girl, tbh from text I wasn’t 100% sure but I do believe in giving people a chance irl, because you never know.

Ok the date she told me her uncle paid for her to get a PT so she can lose weight because he said no guys going to want to marry you if your fat. He also funded for her to get lip filler and tbh it’s just made me less interested in her because it feels like she’s got no other options. I was already not super into her to begin with but this just further puts me off.

No its not being shallow. Perfectly reasonable tbh.

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

So iv been speaking to this girl, tbh from text I wasn’t 100% sure but I do believe in giving people a chance irl, because you never know.

Ok the date she told me her uncle paid for her to get a PT so she can lose weight because he said no guys going to want to marry you if your fat. He also funded for her to get lip filler and tbh it’s just made me less interested in her because it feels like she’s got no other options. I was already not super into her to begin with but this just further puts me off.

It is normal to get plastic surgery such as lip fillers. Looks are very important in society and can improve one's quality of life.
In the UK and every country on the Earth, even if you have a personality, you better not be poor, ugly or quiet.. They don't even let you away with being poor or unattractive , you will be friendless and have no sexual relationships. We have a caste system on par with India..

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by studygirl388

Okay. It seems to me like you're being put off because of the instability in her life and the fact she seems to be being controlled/shamed by her uncle. Which is fair enough. It's your choice. If you're not interested, you're not interested. You put it a bit strangely though. That you're put off because it seems like she has "no other options".

I can't read this without feeling sad for her.

I feel like I may have worded it wrong, she wanted the stuff, her uncle kind of agreed with her and he paid for it

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

I think I may have worded it wrong she wanted the stuff her uncle kind of agreed and funded it because he thinks nobody will marry her in her current way

Reply 10

username3113184

16

Original post by Anonymous

I feel like I may have worded it wrong, she wanted the stuff, her uncle kind of agreed with her and he paid for it

Oh okay. That's different.

But you did mention he told her that no man would want to marry her if she was "fat". This is still inappropriate and saddening to read.

Even if you don't want to be with her, you could just at least ensure you show her kindness and respect, to make her situation a bit easier.

Reply 11

Sleepy youknow

9

Why u asking people if they think it was shallow of you
**** what people think, be confident of your own opinions and actions 🌪🌪

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by studygirl388

Oh okay. That's different.

But you did mention he told her that no man would want to marry her if she was "fat". This is still inappropriate and saddening to read.

Even if you don't want to be with her, you could just at least ensure you show her kindness and respect, to make her situation a bit easier.