Boyfriend has lots of photos of other girls and messaging girls on onlyfans

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly a year and have lived together for about 6 months now. Earlier today I was tidying the bedroom when I came across a phone I had never seen before. When I clicked the on button it was full of hidden notifications. I’ve never had a reason not to trust him but for some reason I decided to look on the phone. When I did I found he had fake social media accounts on almost every social media. He has been sending himself hundreds of photos of other girls some of which he has taken himself clearly without the girls knowledge. It’s full of people from his works legs, butts, feet etc. Alongside that he has lots of pictures in girls in lingerie, and some wearing nothing. He also has loads of screen recordings of girls Instagram stories and Snapchat stories.
Alongside this he has only fans now I have no problems with him using onlyfans however he has hundreds of messages from different girls and he is paying almost £100 a month to only fans but always telling me how stressed he is about money.
I’m really upset by all of this but don’t know how I’m meant to address it. He has BPD so if he thinks I’m upset with him he goes into self destruct mode. I don’t want to trigger him however this has really upset me. I don’t know if the pictures are somehow linked to his BPD or not.

Please can anyone offer me some advice on what to do or anything.I’m so lost and confused
1
reply
Adz2042
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
No idea how to help with this one.
this guy needs serious help with his addiction.
Might be worth cutting off the relationship if you think it's going to be too hard to tell him, and allow him to continue with this.
1
reply
XxAlizaxX
Badges: 14
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly a year and have lived together for about 6 months now. Earlier today I was tidying the bedroom when I came across a phone I had never seen before. When I clicked the on button it was full of hidden notifications. I’ve never had a reason not to trust him but for some reason I decided to look on the phone. When I did I found he had fake social media accounts on almost every social media. He has been sending himself hundreds of photos of other girls some of which he has taken himself clearly without the girls knowledge. It’s full of people from his works legs, butts, feet etc. Alongside that he has lots of pictures in girls in lingerie, and some wearing nothing. He also has loads of screen recordings of girls Instagram stories and Snapchat stories.
Alongside this he has only fans now I have no problems with him using onlyfans however he has hundreds of messages from different girls and he is paying almost £100 a month to only fans but always telling me how stressed he is about money.
I’m really upset by all of this but don’t know how I’m meant to address it. He has BPD so if he thinks I’m upset with him he goes into self destruct mode. I don’t want to trigger him however this has really upset me. I don’t know if the pictures are somehow linked to his BPD or not.

Please can anyone offer me some advice on what to do or anything.I’m so lost and confused
Babes, u gotta dump n leave…

It may b difficult but he dont deserve u 🙃
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Pizza_Aliza)
Babes, u gotta dump n leave…

It may b difficult but he dont deserve u 🙃
He’s already struggling with his mental Heath. He’s at his lowest if I leave and it tips him over the edge that’s on me. Also I’m 18 if I leave him I’m ****ed I’ll have nowhere to live. My parents don’t live in England and I have no family here I can’t afford to rent by myself.
0
reply
XxAlizaxX
Badges: 14
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
He’s already struggling with his mental Heath. He’s at his lowest if I leave and it tips him over the edge that’s on me. Also I’m 18 if I leave him I’m ****ed I’ll have nowhere to live. My parents don’t live in England and I have no family here I can’t afford to rent by myself.
Oh 😥

Ummm, maybe u should try getting a job or smfn?

That way u could maybe move back to ur parents, or just rent out ur own place…

And if he’s struggling then no offence but thats his issue, but i guess u could speak about it with him first…

But then again if hes been hiding it from u it means that he was afraid, n hes aware its wrong…

I wouldnt b oky with my man lookin at other girls in that way, its a lil creepy…
0
reply
iGotLove
Badges: 1
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
He’s already struggling with his mental Heath. He’s at his lowest if I leave and it tips him over the edge that’s on me. Also I’m 18 if I leave him I’m ****ed I’ll have nowhere to live. My parents don’t live in England and I have no family here I can’t afford to rent by myself.
How he reacts to your reaction about his perverted secret isn't your fault. How would he feel if he found out you spent £100 a month on handsome guys and secretly taking pics of your male coworkers? That's really creepy btw! You have to approach him in a serious manner and let him know how upset it makes you feel(while not caring about triggering him). Maybe even ask him how would he feel if your phone was filled with hundreds of men that he didn't know about.

Adamantly tell him that if things don't change immediately you guys will have to end the relationship. It will hurt both of you a lot less in the long run if it ends now. When my gf found out about the girls I had in my phone she was so willing to end the relationship if I didn't delete them all. So I quickly deleted them with no hesitation because I couldn't imagine being without her. If he wants to keep the ship in tact, he'll be willing to do the same. Two of my friends also had this same problem with their bfs. However, nothing changed so when they finally ended their relationship they heavily regretted that they didn't end it sooner when they first found out.

You should use his reaction to determine whether the relationship is worth saving or not. If he's too hesitant to delete the girls (especially the ones he personally know from work) from his phone, then that should tell you where he stands in the relationship. I understand that if you guys break up, you're not gonna have anywhere to live but if he doesn't change anything after confronting him, I guarantee the relationship is eventually gonna end at some point and when it does, you're gonna wish you left him the first day you found out about the second phone.
2
reply
XxAlizaxX
Badges: 14
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#7
Report 1 month ago
#7
(Original post by igotlove)
how he reacts to your reaction about his perverted secret isn't your fault. How would he feel if he found out you spent £100 a month on handsome guys and secretly taking pics of your male coworkers? That's really creepy btw! You have to approach him in a serious manner and let him know how upset it makes you feel(while not caring about triggering him). Maybe even ask him how would he feel if your phone was filled with hundreds of men that he didn't know about.

Adamantly tell him that if things don't change immediately you guys will have to end the relationship. It will hurt both of you a lot less in the long run if it ends now. When my gf found out about the girls i had in my phone she was so willing to end the relationship if i didn't delete them all. So i quickly deleted them with no hesitation because i couldn't imagine being without her. If he wants to keep the ship in tact, he'll be willing to do the same. Two of my friends also had this same problem with their bfs. However, nothing changed so when they finally ended their relationship they heavily regretted that they didn't end it sooner when they first found out.

You should use his reaction to determine whether the relationship is worth saving or not. If he's too hesitant to delete the girls (especially the ones he personally know from work) from his phone, then that should tell you where he stands in the relationship. I understand that if you guys break up, you're not gonna have anywhere to live but if he doesn't change anything after confronting him, i guarantee the relationship is eventually gonna end at some point and when it does, you're gonna wish you left him the first day you found out about the second phone.
totally agree 💜
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by iGotLove)
How he reacts to your reaction about his perverted secret isn't your fault. How would he feel if he found out you spent £100 a month on handsome guys and secretly taking pics of your male coworkers? That's really creepy btw! You have to approach him in a serious manner and let him know how upset it makes you feel(while not caring about triggering him). Maybe even ask him how would he feel if your phone was filled with hundreds of men that he didn't know about.

Adamantly tell him that if things don't change immediately you guys will have to end the relationship. It will hurt both of you a lot less in the long run if it ends now. When my gf found out about the girls I had in my phone she was so willing to end the relationship if I didn't delete them all. So I quickly deleted them with no hesitation because I couldn't imagine being without her. If he wants to keep the ship in tact, he'll be willing to do the same. Two of my friends also had this same problem with their bfs. However, nothing changed so when they finally ended their relationship they heavily regretted that they didn't end it sooner when they first found out.

You should use his reaction to determine whether the relationship is worth saving or not. If he's too hesitant to delete the girls (especially the ones he personally know from work) from his phone, then that should tell you where he stands in the relationship. I understand that if you guys break up, you're not gonna have anywhere to live but if he doesn't change anything after confronting him, I guarantee the relationship is eventually gonna end at some point and when it does, you're gonna wish you left him the first day you found out about the second phone.
I confronted him about it when he got in yesterday. He was fairly calm about it and said there was a really embarrassing explanation. He claimed it was nothing to do with girls and it was just the socks (?) he was looking at.
0
reply
chazwomaq
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#9
Report 1 month ago
#9
Your bf has a socks addiction
Last edited by chazwomaq; 1 month ago
0
reply
XxAlizaxX
Badges: 14
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#10
Report 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
I confronted him about it when he got in yesterday. He was fairly calm about it and said there was a really embarrassing explanation. He claimed it was nothing to do with girls and it was just the socks (?) he was looking at.
Foot fetish…..
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How would you describe the quality of the digital skills you're taught at school?

Excellent (18)
8.29%
Okay (64)
29.49%
A bit lacking (81)
37.33%
Not good at all (54)
24.88%

Watched Threads

View All