My family are all religous- but I am not.

Hello. I'm an 18-year-old girl from the UK and I'm just confused. I currently go to uni.
Here's my issue; I live with my parents. I like living with them as I don't have to pay for rent etc.
But one MAJOR downside is that I can't go out. No clubbing, no late-night parties, no alcohol, no staying over etc. I'm not a huge clubbing person, but I still would like to experience the 'uni life'.
However my parents are very religious and so is my extended family. I do not want to state what they believe in as I don't want to offend, but I'm sure you can guess.
What should I do? Should I move to uni accommodation? I don't know how I can afford it as I originally didn't apply for the accommodation loan. I really want some independence, but moving out, even if it's in the same city, is seen as REALLY disrespectful. Whenever I try to bring it up, my mother accuses me of being ungrateful and that I owe everything to her.
Any advice is helpful. Thank you.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Maybe explain to them how either way you're not getting what you want and you would like them to respect your wishes, and then ask them to say what they would rather - you get to go out and do what you want and carry on living with them or you leave and they don't have to deal with it. Of course, this is unlikely to work but like why not try?

Reply 2

londonmyst

Trust your gut instinct and focus on the future life that you want. :smile:

It is very unlikely that you will be able to change your parents mindset, tactics or those of any other traditionalist family members.
All that you can do is save up as much money as you can and move out- without providing them with advanced notice or your forwarding address.
Then work towards achieving your ambitions and building the happy future life that you want.

Check your maintainence loan entitlement and then quietly apply.
Have the money sent to a new bank account with paperfree statements that your parents won't know anything about.
In the meantime while you are saving up, you can choose whether to operate within their rules inside the parental home while focusing on your studies plus improving your finances & access to independent social networks.
Or you can get sneaky outside your local area while waiting to be able to move out.
I did the latter while I was waiting to escape from a controlling and toxic household.
Finally managed to get away before a level results were over.
Alas my violent mother had already swiped my lifesavings trying to prevent me from being able to fund alternative accomodation.

But be very cautious if there is any family history of violence or criminal conduct within your household.
Don't risk your physical safety or mental wellbeing while you are dependent upon traditionalist family members to provide you with accomodation and food.
Good luck!

Reply 3

Saimon1232

this is normal in the modern world