Girl I really like is dating my best friend

Hey I hope someone can help. Basically my best mate is dating his neighbour - however, i have been talking to her for about 3 months and i really like her (they have been dating for about a month). I know I really like her and she repeatedly told me she had a crush on me back in december and I did aswell however I didn't want to make anything awkward between her and my best mate seeing as we met through him. Then I finally got up the courage to ask her out before New years but then I got covid - completely ruined everything. I then stopped myself and was gonna assk her once I got back to school. However, after school on my first day back after isolation, I found out he had literally asked her out that day. I was kinda heartbroken to hear this as I still really like her and we still talk - however whenever she is with him; obvs because they are neighbours it is quite a lot, her texts turn really dry like she can't be bothered.
I don't know if this is him making her do it as he did it when he was dating his ex back last summer with another one of our mates. But it seems like whenever she isn't with him she opens back up again. She openly admitted to me less that 3 days ago that she liked me and the only reason she didn't anymore was "it grew less because we grew more distant" however that was just because he made me stop texting her for a bit (like a day or 2 whilst I had covid). Essentially he screwed me there.
We also had the convo before they started dating if he liked her and he said "na bro she's like a sister to me" and I know she likes him but apparently she doesn't feel he likes her back that much and he isn't known for having relationships that last as he isn't romantic and doesn't really care abt the small things that makes girls feel special.
I don't know what to do, whether to just leave it and see what happens with time - I doubt they will last too long tbh but then I have the issue with she just dated my best mate, can I date her or is that harsh on him? Or is it just strange?
Or I can sort of just tell him that I like her but I don't know if that will end well or I can stop talking to her - which I have tried like leaving her on delivered but I simply can't do it for long because I like her too much.
Does anyone have any advice?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Hey I hope someone can help. Basically my best mate is dating his neighbour - however, i have been talking to her for about 3 months and i really like her (they have been dating for about a month). I know I really like her and she repeatedly told me she had a crush on me back in december and I did aswell however I didn't want to make anything awkward between her and my best mate seeing as we met through him. Then I finally got up the courage to ask her out before New years but then I got covid - completely ruined everything. I then stopped myself and was gonna assk her once I got back to school. However, after school on my first day back after isolation, I found out he had literally asked her out that day. I was kinda heartbroken to hear this as I still really like her and we still talk - however whenever she is with him; obvs because they are neighbours it is quite a lot, her texts turn really dry like she can't be bothered.
I don't know if this is him making her do it as he did it when he was dating his ex back last summer with another one of our mates. But it seems like whenever she isn't with him she opens back up again. She openly admitted to me less that 3 days ago that she liked me and the only reason she didn't anymore was "it grew less because we grew more distant" however that was just because he made me stop texting her for a bit (like a day or 2 whilst I had covid). Essentially he screwed me there.
We also had the convo before they started dating if he liked her and he said "na bro she's like a sister to me" and I know she likes him but apparently she doesn't feel he likes her back that much and he isn't known for having relationships that last as he isn't romantic and doesn't really care abt the small things that makes girls feel special.
I don't know what to do, whether to just leave it and see what happens with time - I doubt they will last too long tbh but then I have the issue with she just dated my best mate, can I date her or is that harsh on him? Or is it just strange?
Or I can sort of just tell him that I like her but I don't know if that will end well or I can stop talking to her - which I have tried like leaving her on delivered but I simply can't do it for long because I like her too much.
Does anyone have any advice?

So if you try moving to your best friend's girl while your best friend is dating her, that friendship is basically over imo. That's the first option. The second option is to explain what you have stated on here to your best friend (you was going to ask her out before him etc) and if he truly doesn't fancy her, he will let you have her as you clearly like her. Still, a possibility that your friendship with your best friend may be awkward if he doesn't back down. If you value your best friend a lot and don't want to risk losing that friendship, I would just move on and find someone new. It will be hard at first but eventually, you will find someone. You're still young so there is plenty of time.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

So if you try moving to your best friend's girl while your best friend is dating her, that friendship is basically over imo. That's the first option. The second option is to explain what you have stated on here to your best friend (you was going to ask her out before him etc) and if he truly doesn't fancy her, he will let you have her as you clearly like her. Still, a possibility that your friendship with your best friend may be awkward if he doesn't back down. If you value your best friend a lot and don't want to risk losing that friendship, I would just move on and find someone new. It will be hard at first but eventually, you will find someone. You're still young so there is plenty of time.

Basically I know she tells me stuff she doesn't necessarily tell him and I like to be there for her and stuff and idk if it is just better off if we stay friends and I try to move on (it'll be hard) and then we can stay friends but like rly close. I just can't tell how it would work because currently we do have kind of flirty texts if you know what I mean, like not proper flirt but we are both there for each other and we tell each other so much and like stuff we won't tell anyone else and I just don't know how it will change if we start dating and stuff and I know she rly appreciates me and I have told her and I do respond if she needs my advice or help and I always tell her im there for her which I don't think her bf does so I just don't know whether I am kind of like the 2nd boyfriend just without the physical side and stuff but like the emotional bf yk. But even then I feel like if he saw some of our messages he would not be happy because we r so close and he doesn't do half the stuff I do when talking to her.

she told me she didn't like me like that but then she said she had a crush on me which I already knew only a few days later. So I can't tell. The thing is if I try anything now then I can lose both of them (she knows I still like her cause we had the convo the other day that's when she brought it up). I don't want to come between them but I do rly like her and it does rly frustrate me when she just doesn't respond which is probably a sign of how much I like her yk. But here the thing all of my other mates think I'm a better fit for her and that I'm better looking and an overall nicer person than my best mate. And I have to stand there and take it but I can't show that I like her to too many ppl. He also asked me straight up if I liked her and I literally panicked and said yeh before u started dating her. He was like ok. But tbh she doesn't seem to trust him - and in schl and stuff when he isn't around her he is always flirting with girls.

it's just annoying waiting to see what happens and I think she is too scared to break up with him because she is worried it'll be awkward because they go to schl together everyday on the bus and stuff. I just honestly can't tell what to do whether to wait or not.
She knows I like her currently so ig the issue is that I can't tell my mate anything abt it and she won't do anything abt it.

I just honestly can't tell how serious they are abt each other and stuff. The rly annoying part is he only flirts when she isn't there - if she is there he goes off and plays football or goes over to her and her friends. He flirts with at least 4 girls in form everyday and its not in a friendly way its properly and stuff and then he flirts with other girls in lessons and stuff. But tbh as soon as anyone that can tell her appears he stops and tries to hide it. From my POV their relationship just seems convenient to him because he gets a girl he can hang out with almost whenever cause they are neighbours and he just doesn't need to try necessarily. I think he knows that she won't break up with him either because of how close their families are and stuff and I just feel it's not actually what she wants and she just can't get out of it.
She messaged me a few mins ago literally asking if I know if he is mad at her and I was like I honestly have no clue because I don't. He doesn't always seem to be in her good books either when I see him he is always like "why are you mad at me" and stuff.
She is having a party in a few weeks and there is a massive gc with us 2 and one of our other friends and all of her friends cause its her party. And whenever one of her friends texts on the gc he is always like flirting with them and I don't understand how she doesn't see it. She has come to me before to ask if I have noticed it and I obvs said I had and I have even tried to stop it before when he did it but he doesn't seem to notice it at all and just does it anyway.

From my view I see this relationship crashing at somepoint but I dont know when and im getting a bit frustrated abt waiting. We have GCSEs in 3 months and if it happens any other point other than the next month im not gonna make a move so I can focus and then I hope she will still be single at the end of the GCSEs so we can have a summer together and stuff.

Its just a rly slow and annoying situation

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

Hi guys...my boyfriend left me because my parents didn't accept his proposal for me. I told him that they will accept it once my sisters get married and that I settle into my career but he said he can't wait anymore because what if he waits 6-12 months and then my parents say no. He used to say to me that he can wait for me as long as I want (I told him to wait for 2 years) and that he will try till end to convince my parents. Now I think his parents have found a girl for him and he is getting engaged soon and is happy with it that's why he left me not because my parents didn't accept the proposal. I am very sad and broken idk what to do.

Girl I really like is dating my best friend

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