Have you ever dated a person you didn't find attractive at first glance?

Also... how did it go?

I'm a guy and i've noticed that a girl likes me (her friend, who is also my friend, told me). She's not exactly my type... i like some things about her (both physically and mentally), but she's not the kind of girl that'd drive me crazy at first glance. I still have to get to know her better btw.

Reply 1

bbcenjoyer

im 17 and ive never dated anyone

Reply 2

Kallisto

Entertainment Forum Helper

I have not dated women so far. But as attractiveness is a point for me anyway, no.

Reply 3

username6663812

Original post by Anonymous #1

As a girl, I was in the same situation. I got to know him and we had so much in common. I found out that he liked me a while back as we were classmates. Not only did we have things in common but i learned to like a lot of the things he liked, which now play a massive positive role in my life that i greatly cherish. He went from being a classmate to one of my best friends; a genuine honest person about everything which I came to admire over time as i got to know him more.

He wasn't necessarily "my type" but taking the time to get to know him with no expectations was one of the best decisions of my life. As someone who went for a guy who i found attractive at first, my relationship was less authentic to the one I have now. I say this because going for someone, with them being attractive as a motivator, can create subconscious expectations that we want them to fill when getting to know them. That's not to say you shouldn't date attractive people, shoot your shot with anyone you want! But from my own experience, i found to appreciate my relationship more knowing that the work of truly getting to know someone created a different kind of love than what i had in my previous relationship.

Take this with a pinch of salt, everyone is different. Give it a go! It doesn't hurt to get to know someone 🙂 But make sure to establish both boundaries and your intensions of getting to know her first so that no one grows false expectations and gets hurt.

(edited 3 months ago)

Reply 4

NonIndigenous

Rarely do I find women authentically attractive at first glance actually (or maybe I just suppress it). Last it happened like 2 years ago, and even then it was after I listened to her talk for about 30 mins.

So to answer you question, yeah I have otherwise I'd be very screwed for options. So far the experience has been hit & miss. Long story & can't be bothered to explain details. Basically by my understanding many if not most women expect you to show & express (subtly) signs of sexual attraction to them throughout a conversation if you're 'interested' in them. But I won't do this until I'm quite sure I like her, and that usually takes me a while, so in the meantime the conversations can be a little 'dry' with me. By the time I do start genuinely liking her, things usually move on.

I'm generally not enthused about 'playing' with women / complementing them or whatever, just to provoke attraction, if I don't fully mean it or feel like I'm really into her yet, in case it never happens & just leave her feeling crappy and awkward. That has happened. That's one reason, among others. Like I said long story. Not sure if that makes much sense to others.

(edited 3 months ago)

Reply 5

londonmyst

Yes, I did as a teen.
I don't recommend anyone who experiences sexual attraction and is reasonably healthy to ever date someone that they know they would never ever have sex with. Or be too ashamed to been seen with by anyone that they know.
It only leads to lots of wasted time, lies or regrets.
Even if some of the life experience gained is useful.