Driving with no lights

Like an idiot I didn’t realise I was driving with no lights on when I was in the middle of a dual carriageway where there were no lamp posts so I couldn’t see, I hit the curb and I had to hold onto my light beams because I forgotten how to switch my lights on because they’re always on auto so I don’t have to worry I had my MOT yesterday and they must have turned it off, I didn’t even realise until I saw driving and I didn’t know what to do I panicked and just carried on I had people flash at me but I didn’t know what to do Luckily I stopped at sainsburys car park and looked on how to switch my lights on, I didn’t feel so stupid and like someone might have reported me I don’t know what to do I feel like the biggest idiot on the planet

I hit the curb and I had to hold onto my light beams because I forgotten how to switch my lights on

I have absolutely no idea what this part meant.

I suspect they mean they held down the headlight flasher.