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Lost my virginity when I was too young - now old memories are back to haunt me

I lost my virginity when I was really young. Briefly, it was before I even knew what sex was and I was messing around with a friend who was 2 years older than me, we were playing a game which became sexual and then led to intercourse. Neither of us knew what we were doing was wrong and it did not happen again.

Because this has just been one of my 'life experiences' it's a memory that's always been there in my head for years and years, so I've never really judged it.

When I learnt about the 'birds and the bees', it was like 'oh so that's what we were doing' but the experience never really turned into regret until now.

I am now 17 and have not had sex since.

my mum came home the other day and said she'd bumped into this boys mother and found out he's going to my first choice uni and our younger siblings go to the same school. Today I got a friend invite from him on facebook and I found out we share mutual friends too.

Now I feel really sick at the thought of what we did and I really don't want this guy back in my life. He has a gf according to his profile and it makes me feel disgusted with myself to think that he's probably shared this stuff with her about what we did. and he's probably told his mates too. i just cant face seeing him again and i am even reconsidering my uni choice because i dont want to be anywhere near him. am i right to feel this way?

how old where you?!

I dont know, I think if the memory really is that painful you don't have to add him or anything, but changing uni choices especially because of that is a bit extremem - I mean, what is the likelihood out of the thousands that go to uni that you will bump into him? even if you did I somehow doubt that subject would be brought up, and I don't think he will have gone on about it that much (although I dont know what he is like), I'm guessing if he has mentioned it its more along the likes of, oh yeah i lost my virginity when i was x age. Unless he really is a moron he wont go into the intimate details with everyone he meets.

Don't worry OP, you have no need to feel ashamed if as you say, you had no idea what you were doing. If anything, him being two years older than you, the responsibility should lie with him. Try not to let it bother you, just go out there and live your life :smile:

Reply 3

Ascient

15

The thread title sounds like it's taken from a trailer to a movie!

Deep, slow voice: "She lost her virginity when she was too young- and now old memories are back to haunt her"

Fast, bubbly, high pitched voice: "Starring Ben Still & Paris Hilton..."

:getmecoat:

Reply 4

elwoodc

7

Aww that sounds pretty bad :frown:

but don't change your uni course for him!!

In all honesty though, he is probably as embaressed about the whole thing as you. You say you both didn't know what you're doing... and in any case it's not the kind of thing to boast about and tell everybody.

Don't talk to him if you don't want to, you don't have to, but like I said don't change your uni course. He's two years older than you so there's very little chance you'll even see him there!

Reply 5

bexicle89

14

If you were below 16 you can get the police involved.

Reply 6

smurfling

Ascient

The thread title sounds like it's taken from a trailer to a movie!

Deep, slow voice: "She lost her virginity when she was too young- and now old memories are back to haunt her"

Fast, bubbly, high pitched voice: "Starring Ben Still & Paris Hilton..."

:getmecoat:

:laughing: legend...

Reply 7

bexicle89

14

You can get the police involved.

Reply 8

bexicle89

14

You can get the police involved.

Reply 9

anyarian

13

bexicle89

You can get the police involved.

3rd time's the charm?
i think she gets it, you're saying she can get the police involved

Reply 10

DisgruntledMoth

14

Y'know what? The best thing to do is just laugh, and move on. Don't let it haunt you, what you did was only culturally wrong, and now you know better there is nothing to be ashamed of. Don't let it hang over your head and ruin your life, and don't worry too much about meeting him again either, in all likelihood you probably won't.

Reply 11

mattymattymatty08

anyarian

3rd time's the charm?
i think she gets it, you're saying she can get the police involved

sorry... who should get involved? :p:

Reply 12

Joanna May

15

I'm curious to know how old you were, considering most people have had sex education from the age of about ten onwards...

Reply 13

GemmyMonster

15

To be honest, I don't think that's fair if he was under 16 too, the law sucks on that.

If he was over.. well tbh while you may regret it, at 14 you are old enough to know what it is.

Btw that is aimed at mr.phonethepolice, not you OP.

OP, perhaps actually talk to him about it, find out if he HAS ever told anyone? I'd guess not really :s-smilie:

Reply 14

Christian_j

17

I know we dont have exact ages, but rough estimates?

Reply 15

mattymattymatty08

if he is two years older than you then odds are he probably knew what he was doing, i would avoid him, but you shouldnt change your uni choice
if he is 2 years older than you odds are you wont see him again anyhows :smile:

Reply 16

fisherman

16

bexicle89

You can get the police involved.

Why, so she gets prosecuted? I guess they were both underage, my guess is 9 and 11.

Reply 17

Fandellos

13

DisgruntledMoth

what you did was only culturally wrong

as bexicle mentioned if she was under 16 it would be legally wrong as well.

and OP i really, really wouldnt bet on him telling his gf. its not the kinda thing that would score good guy points for him

and have you considered that maybe he is feeling just like you? maybe he regrets it as well. and you wre only little at the time, you both didnt understand what was going on so i cant really see why you are getting so annoyed/upset about it. just laugh it off.

Reply 18

Guru Sauce

bexicle89

You can get the police involved.

Why..? From her story it seemed mutual.. Sounds like they were both too young to know..

Getting the police involved would be harsh.. and do nothing..

Reply 19

Fandellos

13

fisherman

Why, so she gets prosecuted? I guess they were both underage, my guess is 9 and 11.

No, the guy would get prosecuted even if he was younger than her ( i know he isnt in this case, but its the general law) for no reason. it's ********.

Lost my virginity when I was too young - now old memories are back to haunt me

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