Should I tell my ex to stop messaging my family?

Me and my ex have been broken up now for 6 months and it was kind of messy. After the breakup his Mum would message me every so often to check in on me which I appreciated however when he found out he didn't like it and so his Mum messaged me to say he wasn't happy with the communication and therefore it stopped after that, she never messaged me again. I'm not sure why he didn't like it, whether it was because he was thinking of me and how maybe I wouldn't want my exes family still talking to me or if it was because he didn't want them to talk to me because I was out of his life. Anyway, since then he has messaged my sister and her husband who he grew very close with while we were together every few weeks, and they always tell me when he does, they message back to keep things civil but I let them know that I find it weird because not only are we broken up now and have been for a while but he stopped me and his Mum from talking yet he thinks it's okay to still message my family. Today is my sisters birthday and she just told me he wished her a happy birthday and asked how she was spending it etc. After 6 months I just feel like he should be cutting all contact now, considering I haven't wished his family happy birthdays when it was theirs due to not wanting to cross boundaries we now have as an ex couple if that makes sense?
Anyway I just don't know if it's worth letting him know how I feel or whether it might just cause another argument I don't feel like getting into.
Is it as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be or should I just let it be?

Reply 1

LsDad

Its a tough one. I would ask your sister if she and her husband still want to hear from him or not?
If they do:
Not much you can say other than let your sister know you had a good relationship with his mum who wanted to keep contact with you but he put a stop to that. You find it a double standard but it is what it is and leave it at that. Your sister will always take your side anyhow.
If they don't or are not bothered:
Then I would tell him straight, you find it a double standard that he wanted you out of his life, asked his mum not to stay in contact you yet you had a really good relationship with her, yet he is still bothering your sister and husband and should stop all communication with them

Frankly, he sounds like a complete ****. Don't get me wrong i can fully see why he wants his mum to not contact you: He will want mummy to invest her time into new/future girlfriend not you, that's how it works, however, you equally would want your sister to ultimately want to invest her time with your new man/future boyfriend. Really he should afford you the same courtesy if that's how he wants to play things.

This is a very challenging situation, all around the world there will be family / friends / friends of friends that may be known or connected to X's, was your X a friend of your sister or her husband before you met him? that would make it more challenging if it he was.

In all you are between a rock and a hard place, you cant stop people making contact with people but if it was me, if it was ****@ng me off, i would be prepared to call him out on it and point out to him his double standard.

Good Luck

Reply 2

Nikkistix

I wish it was as easy as time as a man pls don't feel it's ok to presume her sister is who you love if 69u has of 100 gave a chance at knowing the oldest you would have seen a loving life you gave up n treated her like nothing n no longer wanted to see good in her now to hurt her father what kind of man are you for that