Distraught by the past
I have a girlfriend for the past 3 years, and we have a stable relationship, we came through many obstacles and learned to work as a couple. I love her and she does as well, I have no doubts neither does she, not anymore. In my past I was a bit of a man ***** but not too much, enough for my girl to be a bit protective at the start and all but we worked through it. The thing is I keep thinking of this 1 girl, beautiful but she treated me like hell(I didnt notice it that much because of all the emotions but looking back at it she wasnt nice to me and I would say almost emotionally abused me), we liked eachother back then and grown to know eachother for quite some time,we kissed and we hung out and we made it sexual all the time and she was fine with it. fast forward a year we came to complications and arguments and we came to block eachother without any closure. I stood my ground whenever she stared at me at school and even shaked it off like nothing bothered me. When we blocked eachother i was spending my time with the girl that is now my girlfriend and she helped me through the distress, she knew how much she hurt me and emotionally destroyed me. All comes to the point im trying to make, I cant stop thinking about her and sometimes i get dreams of me and her getting to see eachother and talking it out and see where we are at. I would love to talk about this with my girl but I know for a fact it will not end well and make her overthink so many things. i dont want to put her in that horrible state of mind because things are good. I feel like this is the pain of not having any closure, we really liked eachother aswell i dont doubt it but as teenagers(18,19..) its hard to make the right decisions and talk it out.
What would you do in this situation, maybe any advice. Its quite a burden and sometimes I think “what if she thinks of me as much as i do of her” since we are all human and we all need closure of some kind.
Have a good rest of your day.
What would you do in this situation, maybe any advice. Its quite a burden and sometimes I think “what if she thinks of me as much as i do of her” since we are all human and we all need closure of some kind.
Have a good rest of your day.
Don't talk about these dreams with your girlfriend. That would be unfair on her. You'll be putting her in a very uncomfortable position that will make her feel insecure within the relationship.
There were arguments and there was a blocking. I'm not sure what more closure you're looking for here because you know why it ended. You two had either conflicting view points and/or personalities which you couldn't resolve without it escalating into an argument. It wouldn't have worked. Remind yourself why it didn't work and accept that it didn't work for these reasons. All talking about it now would do is rehash the past. You still wouldn't work now for the same reasons you didn't work then. Don't compromise what you have with your girl over "what ifs". Unless you'd rather have this other woman over the person you're with... then the answer is to end things with your current girlfriend because she deserves to be more than just the runner-up prize.
There were arguments and there was a blocking. I'm not sure what more closure you're looking for here because you know why it ended. You two had either conflicting view points and/or personalities which you couldn't resolve without it escalating into an argument. It wouldn't have worked. Remind yourself why it didn't work and accept that it didn't work for these reasons. All talking about it now would do is rehash the past. You still wouldn't work now for the same reasons you didn't work then. Don't compromise what you have with your girl over "what ifs". Unless you'd rather have this other woman over the person you're with... then the answer is to end things with your current girlfriend because she deserves to be more than just the runner-up prize.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by 1582
Don't talk about these dreams with your girlfriend. That would be unfair on her. You'll be putting her in a very uncomfortable position that will make her feel insecure within the relationship.
There were arguments and there was a blocking. I'm not sure what more closure you're looking for here because you know why it ended. You two had either conflicting view points and/or personalities which you couldn't resolve without it escalating into an argument. It wouldn't have worked. Remind yourself why it didn't work and accept that it didn't work for these reasons. All talking about it now would do is rehash the past. You still wouldn't work now for the same reasons you didn't work then. Don't compromise what you have with your girl over "what ifs". Unless you'd rather have this other woman over the person you're with... then the answer is to end things with your current girlfriend because she deserves to be more than just the runner-up prize.
There were arguments and there was a blocking. I'm not sure what more closure you're looking for here because you know why it ended. You two had either conflicting view points and/or personalities which you couldn't resolve without it escalating into an argument. It wouldn't have worked. Remind yourself why it didn't work and accept that it didn't work for these reasons. All talking about it now would do is rehash the past. You still wouldn't work now for the same reasons you didn't work then. Don't compromise what you have with your girl over "what ifs". Unless you'd rather have this other woman over the person you're with... then the answer is to end things with your current girlfriend because she deserves to be more than just the runner-up prize.
Damn, i guess it really does look like my girl is the runner up prize but I never meant for this neither would I have thought to be with this person that I am and that brought me so much joy. I agree on not telling the dreams and I definitely am not stupid on ruining something this unique on “what ifs”. I do still think there wasnt closure as the way I explained it was simplified and there was a lot more that happened in detail and in certain ways. I just need to accept it like you said
Bump, maybe for any other points of views
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