Girl I like prefers this bad guy
I'm a nice guy and I was getting on well with this girl but my hopes were crushed when she got with this guy who treats her like crap she always moans about him but she won't leave him she says she sees me like a close brother so I'm stuck in the friendzone, she got annoyed when I told her I would treat her much better after she had a rant about her bad boy bf, he smokes and drinks also drives a boy racer car, any advice on how to make her leave him?
What in the Wattpad cringe is this? You need to get off your phone, go outside and touch some grass. Seriously.
You started off with the classic 'I'm a nice guy' then berated her partner's existence. A lot of people who have to say they're nice aren't nice. Leave her alone. If she wants to be with him, that's her choice. Trying to manipulate her to break up with him is absurd and obsessive. Also, she doesn't have to be with you just because you think you're a nicer partner. She has stated clearly that she isn't interested in you. She has chosen somebody else. Respect that and leave her alone.
You started off with the classic 'I'm a nice guy' then berated her partner's existence. A lot of people who have to say they're nice aren't nice. Leave her alone. If she wants to be with him, that's her choice. Trying to manipulate her to break up with him is absurd and obsessive. Also, she doesn't have to be with you just because you think you're a nicer partner. She has stated clearly that she isn't interested in you. She has chosen somebody else. Respect that and leave her alone.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a nice guy and I was getting on well with this girl but my hopes were crushed when she got with this guy who treats her like crap she always moans about him but she won't leave him she says she sees me like a close brother so I'm stuck in the friendzone, she got annoyed when I told her I would treat her much better after she had a rant about her bad boy bf, he smokes and drinks also drives a boy racer car, any advice on how to make her leave him?
Nice guy? More like you are an incel if she really hated him she wouldn't be with him get over yourself there is plenty of more girls who would listen to you whine
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a nice guy and I was getting on well with this girl but my hopes were crushed when she got with this guy who treats her like crap she always moans about him but she won't leave him she says she sees me like a close brother so I'm stuck in the friendzone, she got annoyed when I told her I would treat her much better after she had a rant about her bad boy bf, he smokes and drinks also drives a boy racer car, any advice on how to make her leave him?
Alright, I'm going to be blunt.
As DaryIO said above, most so-called "nice-guys" aren't genuinely nice, but only act nice to try and get girls to like them. True nice guys (I call them good guys) are pleasant and considerate to everyone, and they don't moan about no one fancying them because they're "nice". Self-proclaimed "nice-guys" are in fact sneaky doormats, and girls will typically only use them to get what they want; they'll keep dangling the carrot, but you'll never get a bite. Sorry to break it to you, but real life doesn't work like those Adam Sandler movies. I'm warning you now, by continuing your infatuation with this girl you risk becoming a stalker... and don't be surprised if her boyfriend eventually pulls you aside for a "friendly chat".
On the other hand, so-called "bad-boys" also have their good points. For all their negatives, they're often very confident, charismatic and charming; but you can possess all three of those qualities without being a c**k to everyone. Furthermore, many girls like a challenge as well (e.g. tame the wild beast). For example, do you support a football team? Isn't a victory much more satisfying when team makes you sweat till the final whistle than when it's a walkover? Same sort of principles here.
Seriously, for your own self-respect (and possible safety), you need to let go of this girl, and work on yourself to make YOU more appealing to girls.
Original post by DarylO
What in the Wattpad cringe is this? You need to get off your phone, go outside and touch some grass. Seriously.
You started off with the classic 'I'm a nice guy' then berated her partner's existence. A lot of people who have to say they're nice aren't nice. Leave her alone. If she wants to be with him, that's her choice. Trying to manipulate her to break up with him is absurd and obsessive. Also, she doesn't have to be with you just because you think you're a nicer partner. She has stated clearly that she isn't interested in you. She has chosen somebody else. Respect that and leave her alone.
You started off with the classic 'I'm a nice guy' then berated her partner's existence. A lot of people who have to say they're nice aren't nice. Leave her alone. If she wants to be with him, that's her choice. Trying to manipulate her to break up with him is absurd and obsessive. Also, she doesn't have to be with you just because you think you're a nicer partner. She has stated clearly that she isn't interested in you. She has chosen somebody else. Respect that and leave her alone.
PROSM.
Original post by Miss Paige
Nice guy? More like you are an incel if she really hated him she wouldn't be with him get over yourself there is plenty of more girls who would listen to you whine
TBF, I don't think he's an incel (if he was, he'd have given up). I think he's just been misguided by all the Romcoms and girls who tell "nice guys" what they want to hear.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Alright, I'm going to be blunt.
As DaryIO said above, most so-called "nice-guys" aren't genuinely nice, but only act nice to try and get girls to like them. True nice guys (I call them good guys) are pleasant and considerate to everyone, and they don't moan about no one fancying them because they're "nice". Self-proclaimed "nice-guys" are in fact sneaky doormats, and girls will typically only use them to get what they want; they'll keep dangling the carrot, but you'll never get a bite. Sorry to break it to you, but real life doesn't work like those Adam Sandler movies. I'm warning you now, by continuing your infatuation with this girl you risk becoming a stalker... and don't be surprised if her boyfriend eventually pulls you aside for a "friendly chat".
On the other hand, so-called "bad-boys" also have their good points. For all their negatives, they're often very confident, charismatic and charming; but you can possess all three of those qualities without being a c**k to everyone. Furthermore, many girls like a challenge as well (e.g. tame the wild beast). For example, do you support a football team? Isn't a victory much more satisfying when team makes you sweat till the final whistle than when it's a walkover? Same sort of principles here.
Seriously, for your own self-respect (and possible safety), you need to let go of this girl, and work on yourself to make YOU more appealing to girls.
PROSM.
TBF, I don't think he's an incel (if he was, he'd have given up). I think he's just been misguided by all the Romcoms and girls who tell "nice guys" what they want to hear.
As DaryIO said above, most so-called "nice-guys" aren't genuinely nice, but only act nice to try and get girls to like them. True nice guys (I call them good guys) are pleasant and considerate to everyone, and they don't moan about no one fancying them because they're "nice". Self-proclaimed "nice-guys" are in fact sneaky doormats, and girls will typically only use them to get what they want; they'll keep dangling the carrot, but you'll never get a bite. Sorry to break it to you, but real life doesn't work like those Adam Sandler movies. I'm warning you now, by continuing your infatuation with this girl you risk becoming a stalker... and don't be surprised if her boyfriend eventually pulls you aside for a "friendly chat".
On the other hand, so-called "bad-boys" also have their good points. For all their negatives, they're often very confident, charismatic and charming; but you can possess all three of those qualities without being a c**k to everyone. Furthermore, many girls like a challenge as well (e.g. tame the wild beast). For example, do you support a football team? Isn't a victory much more satisfying when team makes you sweat till the final whistle than when it's a walkover? Same sort of principles here.
Seriously, for your own self-respect (and possible safety), you need to let go of this girl, and work on yourself to make YOU more appealing to girls.
PROSM.
TBF, I don't think he's an incel (if he was, he'd have given up). I think he's just been misguided by all the Romcoms and girls who tell "nice guys" what they want to hear.
He will always finish last
Original post by Miss Paige
Nice guy? More like you are an incel if she really hated him she wouldn't be with him get over yourself there is plenty of more girls who would listen to you whine
I agree the OP is sus.
But also it's hard to take someone like her seriously. Women who get with 'bad guys' and then whinge about how bad they are. Break up, get back together, break up again. Rinse/repeat. Say she "loves" him, but doesn't act like it. Says he abuses her, but won't leave him even when she can.
I've known women like this. Still do, one or two.
If she is that type, then the only advice I have for the OP is to not bother trying to understand why she is like this. Instead, aim to date women who have the self-respect to date men whom they genuinely like and respect on a consistent basis, without some unhinged mood swings. Don't pursue women who have some sort of repressed kink for being treated like sh*t by the men in their lives. She won't feel 'attracted' or 'turned on' by you unless you treat her like crap. The drama & emotional-tax is not worth it for anyone involved.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a nice guy and I was getting on well with this girl but my hopes were crushed when she got with this guy who treats her like crap she always moans about him but she won't leave him she says she sees me like a close brother so I'm stuck in the friendzone, she got annoyed when I told her I would treat her much better after she had a rant about her bad boy bf, he smokes and drinks also drives a boy racer car, any advice on how to make her leave him?
She won't leave him until the relationship has run it course. Best to move on.
She is not attracted to you and never will be.
No matter how "nice" you really are or pretend to be.
She is only offering you platonic friendship or the chance to orbit her and be her favourite male audience whenever she has complaints about a date/bf/hookup.
If this is not what you are interested in, move on and restrict contact with her.
There are plenty of attractive single girls in the dating sea who know to avoid both bad boys and fake niceguys.
No matter how "nice" you really are or pretend to be.
She is only offering you platonic friendship or the chance to orbit her and be her favourite male audience whenever she has complaints about a date/bf/hookup.
If this is not what you are interested in, move on and restrict contact with her.
There are plenty of attractive single girls in the dating sea who know to avoid both bad boys and fake niceguys.
Original post by londonmyst
She is not attracted to you and never will be.
No matter how "nice" you really are or pretend to be.
She is only offering you platonic friendship or the chance to orbit her and be her favourite male audience whenever she has complaints about a date/bf/hookup.
If this is not what you are interested in, move on and restrict contact with her.
There are plenty of attractive single girls in the dating sea who know to avoid both bad boys and fake niceguys.
No matter how "nice" you really are or pretend to be.
She is only offering you platonic friendship or the chance to orbit her and be her favourite male audience whenever she has complaints about a date/bf/hookup.
If this is not what you are interested in, move on and restrict contact with her.
There are plenty of attractive single girls in the dating sea who know to avoid both bad boys and fake niceguys.
The people we attract and often are attracted to, tends to be a reflection of ourselves.
I probably neglected to say this earlier in the thread. It is rarely 'good enough' to simply look for 'better women', or 'better men'. 'Better women' (or men) are unlikely to be as interested in someone who doesn't match their standards. They are probably looking someone of a similar caliber... or in other words, a 'reflection' of themselves & their own personal values, emotional maturity, ambitions, etc. Shared goals & values.
To match these sorts of standards, requires some self-reflection & self-improvement first. The men who whinge about not being able to find a woman and resort to 'simping' for them, generally do not self-reflect. The women who whinge about men repeatedly treating them badly, also do not self-reflect. Together, they like to form this symbiotic ecosystem that is a product of many individuals largely failing to self-reflect on their stupid choices, and repeatedly making the same mistakes well into their 30's, or sometimes indefinitely. It is depressing and uninspiring to watch how these two groups play an 'enabling' role in each other's failures... like a reflection of each other. Always looking for validation in others instead of themselves.
These relational patterns tend to date all the way back to how people grew up & what they learned from their parent(s) how to interact with others. Or in quite a few cases, no parents. Understanding that in depth, is the self-reflection part. It takes effort.
(edited 10 months ago)
Original post by NonIndigenous
It is rarely 'good enough' to simply look for 'better women', or 'better men', depending on your gender and orientation. 'Better women' (or men) are unlikely to be as interested in someone who doesn't match their standards. They are probably looking someone of a similar caliber... or in other words, a 'reflection' of themselves & their own personal values, emotional maturity, ambitions, etc. Shared goals & values.
To match these sorts of standards, requires some self-reflection & self-improvement first. The men who whinge about not being able to find a woman and resort to 'simping' for them, generally do not self-reflect. The women who whinge about men treating them badly (although they struggle less than men tend do with finding casual hookup partners), also do not self-reflect. Together, they form this perverse self-reinforcing ecosystem that is a product of many individuals largely failing to self-reflect on their stupid choices, and repeatedly making the same mistakes well into their 30's, or sometimes indefinitely. It is depressing and uninspiring to watch how these two groups play an 'enabling' role in each other's failures... like a reflection of each other. Always looking for validation in others instead of themselves.
These relational patterns tend to date all the way back to how people grew up & what they learned from their parent(s) how to interact with others. Or in quite a few cases, no parents. Understanding that in depth, is the self-reflection part. It takes effort.
To match these sorts of standards, requires some self-reflection & self-improvement first. The men who whinge about not being able to find a woman and resort to 'simping' for them, generally do not self-reflect. The women who whinge about men treating them badly (although they struggle less than men tend do with finding casual hookup partners), also do not self-reflect. Together, they form this perverse self-reinforcing ecosystem that is a product of many individuals largely failing to self-reflect on their stupid choices, and repeatedly making the same mistakes well into their 30's, or sometimes indefinitely. It is depressing and uninspiring to watch how these two groups play an 'enabling' role in each other's failures... like a reflection of each other. Always looking for validation in others instead of themselves.
These relational patterns tend to date all the way back to how people grew up & what they learned from their parent(s) how to interact with others. Or in quite a few cases, no parents. Understanding that in depth, is the self-reflection part. It takes effort.
PRSOM
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a nice guy
How many times have we heard that one
And how many times have we heard being a nice guy not working, lol.
OP I would say you are on a massive losing streak with this girl. You're approach is all wrong, learn from that and don't ever do the nice guy approach again. Over the years I've heard so many nice guys complain how they're a nice guy and can't get it.
The fact that this guy is doing stuff that we may have been told is not admirable and still winning speaks volumes. The same is true that you are being all clean and proper and losing speaks volumes. I would say don't be so squeaky clean, you don't need to necessarily take up bad habits but doing what you do is clearly acting as girlfriend repellent.
If something isn't working (the nice guy) drop it, never mention that you are a nice guy, never tell a girl a guy is not nice either as that may act as a boost for that guy, just don't worry about nice guy stuff. Instead act real and ignore interest in this girl's relationship with this guy. Don't be hanging in there hoping as if she ever ditches him or gets ditched then she'll likey move onto another similar such guy. Potentially if you shift away from nice guy and onti focussing on yourself then that might peak her interest more.
I agree with y'all but I don't like how Wattpad is always dragged in these threads. It's giving uncultured 💅 and it's giving unacademic and unimaginative🤏 y'all could do better. My friend from Nebraska wouldn't be happy with how small-minded we British folks are.
peace be with y'all. I will pray for y'all x
peace be with y'all. I will pray for y'all x
Original post by Serene Dreams
I agree with y'all but I don't like how Wattpad is always dragged in these threads. It's giving uncultured 💅 and it's giving unacademic and unimaginative🤏 y'all could do better. My friend from Nebraska wouldn't be happy with how small-minded we British folks are.
peace be with y'all. I will pray for y'all x
peace be with y'all. I will pray for y'all x
Not the 💅 emoji 😭
(do continue praying for me tho I need them delicious religious points ya’know?)
Original post by Huzam001
Not the 💅 emoji 😭
(do continue praying for me tho I need them delicious religious points ya’know?)
(do continue praying for me tho I need them delicious religious points ya’know?)
Yeah sure man, I hold weekly prayer sessions over on TSR. Donate $5 for all the soulless people and you can join!
Original post by Katerina S.
How many times have we heard that one
And how many times have we heard being a nice guy not working, lol.
OP I would say you are on a massive losing streak with this girl. You're approach is all wrong, learn from that and don't ever do the nice guy approach again. Over the years I've heard so many nice guys complain how they're a nice guy and can't get it.
The fact that this guy is doing stuff that we may have been told is not admirable and still winning speaks volumes. The same is true that you are being all clean and proper and losing speaks volumes. I would say don't be so squeaky clean, you don't need to necessarily take up bad habits but doing what you do is clearly acting as girlfriend repellent.
If something isn't working (the nice guy) drop it, never mention that you are a nice guy, never tell a girl a guy is not nice either as that may act as a boost for that guy, just don't worry about nice guy stuff. Instead act real and ignore interest in this girl's relationship with this guy. Don't be hanging in there hoping as if she ever ditches him or gets ditched then she'll likey move onto another similar such guy. Potentially if you shift away from nice guy and onti focussing on yourself then that might peak her interest more.
And how many times have we heard being a nice guy not working, lol.
OP I would say you are on a massive losing streak with this girl. You're approach is all wrong, learn from that and don't ever do the nice guy approach again. Over the years I've heard so many nice guys complain how they're a nice guy and can't get it.
The fact that this guy is doing stuff that we may have been told is not admirable and still winning speaks volumes. The same is true that you are being all clean and proper and losing speaks volumes. I would say don't be so squeaky clean, you don't need to necessarily take up bad habits but doing what you do is clearly acting as girlfriend repellent.
If something isn't working (the nice guy) drop it, never mention that you are a nice guy, never tell a girl a guy is not nice either as that may act as a boost for that guy, just don't worry about nice guy stuff. Instead act real and ignore interest in this girl's relationship with this guy. Don't be hanging in there hoping as if she ever ditches him or gets ditched then she'll likey move onto another similar such guy. Potentially if you shift away from nice guy and onti focussing on yourself then that might peak her interest more.
I think pushover is more appropriate than nice
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