I am a failure in life

I am a graduate from a top five universities. My score was 62%. Overall. My A level grades were ABB in mass physics, chemistry respectively. I done applied for ACA apprenticeship. I failed one of my certificate exams four times. The reason I was permitted to do it four times and not two or three times as allowed.. is because my productivity is very good. Basically the company went against the policy as my productivity is actually very good.

At the university I scored an average of 86% in all my coursework and labs . In my exams I either got 50s or 40s. I had two part time jobs parallel to my studies.

A sorry for not keeping proper paragraph structure. I'm just very stressed. The reason I joined top five university of sexual grades is because I had a very good experience under my belt and I read lots of books around mTgps, physics, chemistry. I also did a lot of extracurricular experience on top of my school studies. I was given the exceptional comments about my productivity as such internships. I did internship every single Christmas break, spring break and summer break at top firms.

When a joint the ACA scheme I began failing my exams despite studying 8 to 9 hours after work. I gave up all my hope is everything all my friends just to pass the exams. My my dad stopped talking to me because he's thinks I'm lazy s*** as I failed my exams. Hit those everyone. I've been playing video games to not studying when I haven't switched on my gaming computer since July. I lost my friends my relationship because I sacrifice those for this exams which I couldn't pass. Now every single employer applied to obviously for a different career... Say that if I couldn't pass this exams how would they expect me to pass their mini exams... ( Most jobs have these )

To additionally add something. My university to visitation one and award for being the best dissertation in the entire science faculty, not just chemistry or physics. I have received several awards for my research. Yes, I helped professors doing the research a bit. I know material well in every subject I study but for some reason I just cannot do exams even though I get extra time in my exams. Every time I do any exam I will have like 20% empty of the exam because I just don't have physical time to do it. I just need more time to do things and exams unfortunately do not give you this time. If you were to give me the hardest exam questions they are and give me that I would be able to solve and explain why and how I solve the question.

What yo do with my life .. I have no money now, no family, no friends .. during the last month I developed health is such as not being able to sleep without medicine and consistent headaches. I also gained 5 kg over very short period of time.

Every time I try to explain how difficult this exams where to my dad, he starts yelling at me. He tells everyone I'm lazy. Just so you know how smart he is, he has four PhD degrees at top universities which he obtained on top of his full-time job. In his opinion, anyone can become whoever she wants, including short ppl becoming elite basketball players. And the reason he thinks that there's so many poor people is because they're lazy and don't do the work.

Help me

I am a graduate from a top five universities. My score was 62%. Overall. My A level grades were ABB in mass physics, chemistry respectively. I done applied for ACA apprenticeship. I failed one of my certificate exams four times. The reason I was permitted to do it four times and not two or three times as allowed.. is because my productivity is very good. Basically the company went against the policy as my productivity is actually very good.

At the university I scored an average of 86% in all my coursework and labs . In my exams I either got 50s or 40s. I had two part time jobs parallel to my studies.

A sorry for not keeping proper paragraph structure. I'm just very stressed. The reason I joined top five university of sexual grades is because I had a very good experience under my belt and I read lots of books around mTgps, physics, chemistry. I also did a lot of extracurricular experience on top of my school studies. I was given the exceptional comments about my productivity as such internships. I did internship every single Christmas break, spring break and summer break at top firms.

When a joint the ACA scheme I began failing my exams despite studying 8 to 9 hours after work. I gave up all my hope is everything all my friends just to pass the exams. My my dad stopped talking to me because he's thinks I'm lazy s*** as I failed my exams. Hit those everyone. I've been playing video games to not studying when I haven't switched on my gaming computer since July. I lost my friends my relationship because I sacrifice those for this exams which I couldn't pass. Now every single employer applied to obviously for a different career... Say that if I couldn't pass this exams how would they expect me to pass their mini exams... ( Most jobs have these )

To additionally add something. My university to visitation one and award for being the best dissertation in the entire science faculty, not just chemistry or physics. I have received several awards for my research. Yes, I helped professors doing the research a bit. I know material well in every subject I study but for some reason I just cannot do exams even though I get extra time in my exams. Every time I do any exam I will have like 20% empty of the exam because I just don't have physical time to do it. I just need more time to do things and exams unfortunately do not give you this time. If you were to give me the hardest exam questions they are and give me that I would be able to solve and explain why and how I solve the question.

What yo do with my life .. I have no money now, no family, no friends .. during the last month I developed health is such as not being able to sleep without medicine and consistent headaches. I also gained 5 kg over very short period of time.

Every time I try to explain how difficult this exams where to my dad, he starts yelling at me. He tells everyone I'm lazy. Just so you know how smart he is, he has four PhD degrees at top universities which he obtained on top of his full-time job. In his opinion, anyone can become whoever she wants, including short ppl becoming elite basketball players. And the reason he thinks that there's so many poor people is because they're lazy and don't do the work.

Help me

Hello !

Okay so first off I want to say this. If your told something over and over and over again , even if it's not true , wouldn't you start to believe it. From what I can see you have been invalidated from every effort you have done since you were young. Told you were lazy, told u were a failure and now in adulthood, you believe it. You seek academic value to hold as your own value and without it you feel like your worthless. I'm a strong believer of everything happens for a reason and the choices you face are definitely not going to be easy. But nothing great comes from easy. I don't know much about your qualifications but it sounds to me you have tried your best and maybe this career path isn't for you. Maybe look into alternatives. Is there a reason why you can't reach back out to your friends, if I was your friend and u explained the reasoning I would completely understand. Its important to remember that only you should ever put pressure on yourself to do things , it's your life ! And behaviours tend to be taught and repeated. So your dad's parents probably did the exact same thing to him. Please please don't think u are a failure at life. Academics don't define you

You should consider transferring to a non-ACA team to avoid the exams.

There isn't 1

Which firm do you work at? Many firms have non-ACA teams.

the other option is acca, which even more hard

I am a graduate from a top five universities. My score was 62%. Overall. My A level grades were ABB in mass physics, chemistry respectively. I done applied for ACA apprenticeship. I failed one of my certificate exams four times. The reason I was permitted to do it four times and not two or three times as allowed.. is because my productivity is very good. Basically the company went against the policy as my productivity is actually very good.

At the university I scored an average of 86% in all my coursework and labs . In my exams I either got 50s or 40s. I had two part time jobs parallel to my studies.

A sorry for not keeping proper paragraph structure. I'm just very stressed. The reason I joined top five university of sexual grades is because I had a very good experience under my belt and I read lots of books around mTgps, physics, chemistry. I also did a lot of extracurricular experience on top of my school studies. I was given the exceptional comments about my productivity as such internships. I did internship every single Christmas break, spring break and summer break at top firms.

When a joint the ACA scheme I began failing my exams despite studying 8 to 9 hours after work. I gave up all my hope is everything all my friends just to pass the exams. My my dad stopped talking to me because he's thinks I'm lazy s*** as I failed my exams. Hit those everyone. I've been playing video games to not studying when I haven't switched on my gaming computer since July. I lost my friends my relationship because I sacrifice those for this exams which I couldn't pass. Now every single employer applied to obviously for a different career... Say that if I couldn't pass this exams how would they expect me to pass their mini exams... ( Most jobs have these )

To additionally add something. My university to visitation one and award for being the best dissertation in the entire science faculty, not just chemistry or physics. I have received several awards for my research. Yes, I helped professors doing the research a bit. I know material well in every subject I study but for some reason I just cannot do exams even though I get extra time in my exams. Every time I do any exam I will have like 20% empty of the exam because I just don't have physical time to do it. I just need more time to do things and exams unfortunately do not give you this time. If you were to give me the hardest exam questions they are and give me that I would be able to solve and explain why and how I solve the question.

What yo do with my life .. I have no money now, no family, no friends .. during the last month I developed health is such as not being able to sleep without medicine and consistent headaches. I also gained 5 kg over very short period of time.

Every time I try to explain how difficult this exams where to my dad, he starts yelling at me. He tells everyone I'm lazy. Just so you know how smart he is, he has four PhD degrees at top universities which he obtained on top of his full-time job. In his opinion, anyone can become whoever she wants, including short ppl becoming elite basketball players. And the reason he thinks that there's so many poor people is because they're lazy and don't do the work.

Help me

Addressing the academic issues, it doesn't sound like your stupid, it sounds like your revising wrong. Peak by K. Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool talks about how without purposeful and deliberate practice your not going to get better. 9 hours of revision is going to be worthless if your not using methods that don't work for you. Your also not going to get anywhere without taking a break. Some may disagree but that's because the amount of breaks we need varies. Some need a lot, others don't.

Addressing psychological issues, you sound burnt out, and also your dads wrong there's a reason you can't become an Olympic runner 70, the body doesn't allow it.

My advice would be to take a break, even talk to a GP about your mental health struggles (assuming your British), your are going keep failing until you get your mental health under control and no longer feel burnt out. Your dads not going to like that but I've read a lot of psychology literature and he sounds like one of those people with too much dopamine. Talk to whoever you can academically and explain your issues and burnout. On your break examine what does and doesn't work for you academically. Also I think meditation might help with the stress (not a cure by any means just something that can help.) Also try to reach out to friends and explain, you might not get them back but it's better than not trying.

I seriously advice you though to address these issues at the root and not try to plaster over them. I don't think your issues is this exam, its that your not meeting all the needs you have as a human. You deserve to live a life that makes you feel happy and healthy.