Feeling like I’m unloveable

I’m almost 25 and my parents keep bringing up marriage. For context, I’m south Asian. I think my biggest fear is that I would unloveable. I’ve been told by many people that I’m pretty but I also know that I’m overweight (working on it). I feel like any man that I’m interested will be repulsed by me. Any advice on how to overcome this?

Reply 1

MosesSHTAR

12

Original post by Anonymous #1

I’m almost 25 and my parents keep bringing up marriage. For context, I’m south Asian. I think my biggest fear is that I would unloveable. I’ve been told by many people that I’m pretty but I also know that I’m overweight (working on it). I feel like any man that I’m interested will be repulsed by me. Any advice on how to overcome this?

Perhaps consider talking therapy? Maybe a good way to approach the issue is to try to understand why you feel like you need to be loved in the first place? Whilst feeling valued is important to pretty much all humans, I would argue that you shouldn't focus entirely on how other people view you and whether or not they love you. Self love is important, of course - although that's not always so easy. The standard of marriage is becoming more and more foggy in modern times, and far fewer people seem to be going for it.
This is a bit of a shot in the dark, but it sounds like your parents are putting a lot of pressure on you to be married to a man at your age - or at the very least it feels that way. That's not fair on you, as by age 25 I believe they shouldn't have that much control over your future - just my opinion, of course.

I would recommend looking into the possibility of therapy - it's not an easy fix but it is definitely helpful for things like this. In addition, talking to a friend/family member that you feel safe with and trust about this is also a good approach.
Unfortunately, all your problems cannot be solved by people on the Internet (if only!) so some hard work and prerogative on your end has to be done.

I wish you all the best Anon

Reply 2

Doomotron

18

Original post by Anonymous #1

I’m almost 25 and my parents keep bringing up marriage. For context, I’m south Asian. I think my biggest fear is that I would unloveable. I’ve been told by many people that I’m pretty but I also know that I’m overweight (working on it). I feel like any man that I’m interested will be repulsed by me. Any advice on how to overcome this?

Men are unlikely to be repulsed solely by weight unless you are very large, but I seriously doubt you are. Most people who are overweight or who say they are overweight are just 'normal' when it comes to their actual body. There is a large difference between someone who is slightly overweight and someone who is very overweight. Most men (at least the ones worth being with) won't be bothered.

Feeling like I’m unloveable

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