The Student Room Group

How to get him to commit?

Is it possible to get someone who was scared to commit to come back and commit? If so, how?

Had this incredible thing with a guy, we both agreed we'd never felt this way about someone before. But when it came to it, he got scared to commit.
Make him put in effort for your attention 😏😉🙈
Original post by Anonymous
Make him put in effort for your attention 😏😉🙈

How do you mean?
Are y'all on a break at the moment? If so, my advice (as a guy) is to give him space and see how he responds. It's a bit cliche but if he's into you, let *him* be the one to initiate things again. Either way, it should give you a clear idea of his genuine feelings.
Original post by xxColinxx
Are y'all on a break at the moment? If so, my advice (as a guy) is to give him space and see how he responds. It's a bit cliche but if he's into you, let *him* be the one to initiate things again. Either way, it should give you a clear idea of his genuine feelings.

Not a break, we're broken up. I'm giving him his space as that's what he wanted, but I really just want to message him. Going no contact, but it's just saw hard. I genuinely think he could quite easily go without contacting me again. The first few weeks he was messaging me every couple of days, but now nothing. Said he had to completely remove himself from the situation.
Original post by Anonymous
Not a break, we're broken up. I'm giving him his space as that's what he wanted, but I really just want to message him. Going no contact, but it's just saw hard. I genuinely think he could quite easily go without contacting me again. The first few weeks he was messaging me every couple of days, but now nothing. Said he had to completely remove himself from the situation.


You can't get someone to commit who doesn't want to commit
You can’t make someone commit and you’ve broken up anyway. Just stop obsessing over him and move on with your life.
He would need to decide for himself that this is what he wants. There isn't anything you can do to force it.
If he could quite easily go without contacting you again, that'd suggest that he's really not that bothered, much less wanting to commit.
u cannot force him, madam.
Original post by Anonymous
Not a break, we're broken up. I'm giving him his space as that's what he wanted, but I really just want to message him. Going no contact, but it's just saw hard. I genuinely think he could quite easily go without contacting me again. The first few weeks he was messaging me every couple of days, but now nothing. Said he had to completely remove himself from the situation.


How long have you been broken up?
Original post by xxColinxx
How long have you been broken up?

Properly about 7 weeks, but we were in contact back & forth for the first few weeks.
Just doesn't sound that he's that into you. Probably better that you find someone who is. Otherwise I doubt he'll ever commit and would only come back to use you for comfort and/or intmacy and mess you around over commitment. Better for both of you that you don't waste time being with each other and find someone where both of you actively want to commit.
Original post by Anonymous
Properly about 7 weeks, but we were in contact back & forth for the first few weeks.


Honestly it sounds like the relationship is on life support, at best. Give him complete space for a couple months, and his actions (or lack of) during that time will help make the inevitable next steps easier for you.

Quick Reply