The Student Room Group

Is it weird that i hate nights out?

Im about to move into uni, 1st year student. Im very worried because i absolutely HATE the idea of going on a night out and just drinking. It all feels so artificial and dangerous. I'd much rather just meet people during the day, its so unnecessarily risky to do it at night. I went out once and ended up coming home at 9pm crying because i felt so out of place. Is this weird to feel?
Original post by wkathryn17
Im about to move into uni, 1st year student. Im very worried because i absolutely HATE the idea of going on a night out and just drinking. It all feels so artificial and dangerous. I'd much rather just meet people during the day, its so unnecessarily risky to do it at night. I went out once and ended up coming home at 9pm crying because i felt so out of place. Is this weird to feel?


this was me as a fresher last year and no, it's not weird at all - and if anyone does find it weird then I would argue that it's a maturity issue on their half. the only people who found it weird with me were the cliquey people who acted like this was high school and not an accom of young adults. not everyone likes to drink or go out or do either for the sake of keeping up with the standard uni experience, because the truth is that you can't really justify that being the case anymore. I would however say to keep yourself busy during the day with other freshers events aside from the nights out though - as you don't want to spend freshers week fully cooped up in your room. And the bonus about not going out during that time (or so I soon discovered) was that you may not get freshers flu! For drinking I preferred going to a cocktail bar during happy hours or doing jazz bars etc (places where you're actually there for the music and not just for the drink!). I still ended up back at my place at around 9 and asleep at 11 that night and had no anxiety in the morning. also there's nothing wrong with asking people if they want to hang out at a cafe or a new food place you've discovered - that goes down really well where I am and there's no drink involved at all haha

Also don't be afraid to tell people that you're only doing pres and not joining them clubbing, or will be leaving to go home after a certain time (my friends all knew that I wouldn't want to hang out after around 8pm bc of my social anxiety so they knew I'd go home or back up to my room). There will possibly be individuals that tell you to not knock down clubbing etc without trying it at first, but don't feel pressured to do anything in first year that you don't want to do for the sake of fitting in ! Set your boundaries but don't be afraid to try new things - if and when you are comfortable doing so! <3
Reply 2
It is weird insofar as it is not usual and is 'strange' (being so upset about a night out that you come home crying is not an experience many will have had).

BUt this doesn't invalidate how you feel about it. You don't have to do the out tat 8 home at 4am thing.
Original post by wkathryn17
Im about to move into uni, 1st year student. Im very worried because i absolutely HATE the idea of going on a night out and just drinking. It all feels so artificial and dangerous. I'd much rather just meet people during the day, its so unnecessarily risky to do it at night. I went out once and ended up coming home at 9pm crying because i felt so out of place. Is this weird to feel?

Hi there @wkathryn17

I think what your are feeling is normal. (Depending on your location, and the type of parties you go to, then yes it may be dangerous. But normally if it is Uni hosted events, and you drink sensibly, it shouldn't be too dangerous.)

As an introvert, I feel the same as you about going to night outs and drinking. Introverts tend to need more time to themselves to recharge their energy. For myself, I do not go to night clubbing or drinking events as I know I will feel awful and tired if I went. Instead, I have found friends through societies and my course.

There are many students that do not go to these events/ or go less frequently. During fresher's week, there are always different ways to meet people: fresher's fair, networking events, societies etc. Don't feel pressure to go to nights out if you are not feeling up for it. I felt pressure to go during first year's freshers week and learnt it wasn't really my thing.

Though another thing you can do is make some friends at University first, and you can all go as a group to nights out. Nights outs are hosted throughout the year, so even if you do not go it doesn't mean you miss out completely. This could also help you feel more comfortable.

Hope this helps. :smile:
Chloe
-University of Kent Student Rep
@wkathryn17

You are free to choose the events you want to attend. You don't have to attend anything you don't want to!

Not everyone is into drinking and clubbing, so it's fine not to be interested in these things. It's good to know yourself and to know what you are and are not into!

It is useful to try and get to know new people during Freshers' Week, when everyone is looking to make friends and is more relaxed and open to talking to new people.

Definitely make the most of events run during the day and see if there might be other housemates who you could hang out with in the evening. You could always do a movie night or a girls' night where you do nails and face masks etc

Enjoy the week! It's supposed to be a nice week where you get to meet lots of different people, so as long you are giving yourself the opportunity to do that, then you really don't have to worry!

All the best,

Oluwatosin 2nd year student University of Huddersfield
Not weird
Original post by wkathryn17
Im about to move into uni, 1st year student. Im very worried because i absolutely HATE the idea of going on a night out and just drinking. It all feels so artificial and dangerous. I'd much rather just meet people during the day, its so unnecessarily risky to do it at night. I went out once and ended up coming home at 9pm crying because i felt so out of place. Is this weird to feel?


Hi,

Firstly, I hope you are looking forward to starting university despite your anxieties surrounding nights out.

Secondly, there is no shame in disliking night life that involves drinking! If your university has organized a freshers timetable that involves other activities, such as quizzes and bingo etc., then that is a great alternative to going on a night out and it is also a great way to socialize and make friends. Some universities have events all year that are much more relaxed, and hopefully this is something that your university is accommodating!

Estelle :smile:
Graduate Advocate
Original post by wkathryn17
Im about to move into uni, 1st year student. Im very worried because i absolutely HATE the idea of going on a night out and just drinking. It all feels so artificial and dangerous. I'd much rather just meet people during the day, its so unnecessarily risky to do it at night. I went out once and ended up coming home at 9pm crying because i felt so out of place. Is this weird to feel?

Hello there,

First and foremost, I want to reassure you that what you're experiencing is completely normal. You're not the only one who dislikes the normal college party atmosphere. I absolutely understand your point of view; I felt the same way during my first year. It might be frightening, and not everyone appreciates the nightlife and booze culture.

The good news is that there are many students who share your viewpoint, and you'll have lots of opportunities to meet new people and engage with others during the day. University life is extremely diversified, and there is plenty of room for everyone. You can join clubs, study groups, participate in school activities, or simply start up conversations with classmates. There are numerous ways to build important connections without ever entering a nightclub.

I guarantee you'll find a group of mates who share your interests and values. College is about self-discovery, and you'll have the freedom to design your own personalized experience. Don't succumb to the pressure to adapt to a particular partying lifestyle. Be true to yourself, pursue your passions, and the proper people will come into your life.

Feel free to contact me if you ever want to talk or have questions about managing college life sans the party scene. I'm here to help you because I've been there, and I know it's possible to have a good university experience without late-night partying.

Wishing you all the best on your journey, and remember, you're not weird for feeling this way you're just being yourself. 😊

I hope this is helpful.
Kind regards,
Mrunali Kalbhor,
University of Sunderland Student ambassador
Original post by wkathryn17
Im about to move into uni, 1st year student. Im very worried because i absolutely HATE the idea of going on a night out and just drinking. It all feels so artificial and dangerous. I'd much rather just meet people during the day, its so unnecessarily risky to do it at night. I went out once and ended up coming home at 9pm crying because i felt so out of place. Is this weird to feel?


Other than the crying bit, not weird in my opinion
Original post by wkathryn17
Im about to move into uni, 1st year student. Im very worried because i absolutely HATE the idea of going on a night out and just drinking. It all feels so artificial and dangerous. I'd much rather just meet people during the day, its so unnecessarily risky to do it at night. I went out once and ended up coming home at 9pm crying because i felt so out of place. Is this weird to feel?

Hey thee @wkathryn17 !

Not weird at all. Most people will start to get these feelings around the second year mark when they've exhausted every bar and club in sight. Going out isn't for everyone and there's always people at every university who don't like it, you've just got to find those people. There's always a chance you may prefer a chill pub night where you have a couple of drinks and are tucked up in bed by 11PM. You'll find a lot of people prefer that to clubbing but just do it for the sake of it. It's definitely not weird to feel and you're definitely not the only one who feels this way.

Hope this helped!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU
Original post by wkathryn17
Im about to move into uni, 1st year student. Im very worried because i absolutely HATE the idea of going on a night out and just drinking. It all feels so artificial and dangerous. I'd much rather just meet people during the day, its so unnecessarily risky to do it at night. I went out once and ended up coming home at 9pm crying because i felt so out of place. Is this weird to feel?


Hey there!

First of all, let me assure you that what you're feeling is absolutely valid and not weird at all. University life is all about finding your own path and doing what makes you comfortable. If going on a night out and drinking isn't your thing, that's totally okay!

Believe me, you're not alone in wanting to meet people during the day and engage in activities that don't involve partying. There are plenty of students who feel the same way. In fact, there are so many different clubs, societies, and events happening during the day that you'll have no shortage of opportunities to meet like-minded people and make friends.

Don't worry about feeling out of place. It's completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed when you're in a new environment. But trust me, once you settle into university life, you'll find your own tribe and discover activities that truly resonate with you.

So, embrace your unique preferences and enjoy your time at university! Uni life is all about finding what brings you joy and creating memories that will last a lifetime. And remember, there's nothing wrong with you!

Best of luck with your studies!

Take care,

Ilya:biggrin:
Original post by wkathryn17
Im about to move into uni, 1st year student. Im very worried because i absolutely HATE the idea of going on a night out and just drinking. It all feels so artificial and dangerous. I'd much rather just meet people during the day, its so unnecessarily risky to do it at night. I went out once and ended up coming home at 9pm crying because i felt so out of place. Is this weird to feel?

Hi there @wkathryn17,

Just checking in to see how you're doing?

When it comes to not liking the idea of going on nights out, don't worry you are not alone. At University there are plenty of other activities taking place for you to get involved with that doesn't involve drinking. There will be plenty of other students that also share these views who you will develop friendships with.

There will also be a huge variety of clubs and societies to choose from, where you'll meet likeminded people outside of your course, you can also choose not to go on nights out as there's no pressure to. Keep an eye out on your Universities social pages and website as I'm sure there will be lots of fun events for you to get involved with throughout the year that doesn't have to involve drinking.

All the best, :smile:
Sarah

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