The Student Room Group

How do i stop being obsessed with this girl

I’d had depression, not much social interaction and no real attention from any girls for about 2 years. im maybe 80% of the way to being better now but a couple months ago i met this girl. I liked her pretty much instantly and unbeknownst to me she liked me as well. After being friends for a little while we started dating and broke up not long after.

We agreed to go back to being friends but honestly i just cant stop thinking about her. Its got to the point where most of what i do is based on whether or not she’d approve of it even if shes not there.

I really am trying to forget about her and move on but i really struggle to make new friends. I can have a chat with people i meet but i find it hard to take it any further than that. I am kind of really awkward and never know what to say in conversation but thats why i got so obsessed with this girl, because she didnt instantly sack me off for being awkward and no one else has really done that for me.

I just really need to find a way to stop acting like this. i feel so pathetic because i doubt she rarely ever thinks of me anymore but shes literally on my mind 24/7. Its just the fact that she *did* really like me at one point and i fumbled it so it makes me think theres another chance there even when i know there really isnt. Ive tried going for walks to clear my head but i end up thinking about her the whole time anyway. I just really want to stop all these thoughts but idk how
Reply 1
Sounds like you have an element of underlying OCD which is common with depression & some of the drugs for depression are used for OCD too.
You have insight so that’s good.
Get to your doctor and tell him about your obsessive thoughts- you may need to up your meds.
Fill your time with different hobbies & find something that involves spending time with others- ball room/ salsa dancing classes are always full of females and short on males for partnering. Fake it til you make it, so you’re not confident and feel awkward? Act confident- mirror the ways of people you would like to be more like. Ditch the awkward persona. Be who you want to be 😊
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Sounds like you have an element of underlying OCD which is common with depression & some of the drugs for depression are used for OCD too.
You have insight so that’s good.
Get to your doctor and tell him about your obsessive thoughts- you may need to up your meds.
Fill your time with different hobbies & find something that involves spending time with others- ball room/ salsa dancing classes are always full of females and short on males for partnering. Fake it til you make it, so you’re not confident and feel awkward? Act confident- mirror the ways of people you would like to be more like. Ditch the awkward persona. Be who you want to be 😊

i dont have a doctor i see regularly i saw one twice while i was at my lowest but i dont think i can let myself talk to a real person about my problems. Its easy online anonymously but i feel like once i tell someone its gonna become real and ill fall back into it. i cant let that happen now ive got too many commitments i need to see through. Thanks for your advice though ill look into ocd a bit

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