How to honestly not care about what people think?

I have two work colleagues that just always do stuff without me, lunch drinks etc. They are relatively similar in age ( I’m 24 and they’re 29) and we seem to be similar in terms of personality and we get on well in the office but they just never invite me out to lunch or drinks.

I try to not take it personally but it’s hard not to - how can I just stop beating myself up about it and not think ‘ it’s because I’m ugly’ or because ‘ I’m not cool enough’ or something??

Are they both friends outside of work and/or did you join the company after them?

I had a similar experience at a place I worked at a while ago where I had 2 colleagues I got along well with but they never asked me to lunch or anything other unless I asked first. This used to hurt me a lot because I also moved countries to join that company so really felt alone.

Eventually though I sort of just stopped caring and went with the mindset that "oh well their loss". I think the best way is to simply not care and take it as more of a representation of them rather than you. I'd also recommend trying to do some activities as well like going to the gym or joining clubs where you could meet people so it makes the idea of not being invited less taxing because you've got other people to spend that time with instead.

But if your also really curious and get along well with them I'd say there's no harm in asking as long as you keep it in a light and friendly tone - sometimes people just assume that you aren't interested for some reason or the other.

Hopefully that helps.