Is Being Quiet Bad?

I’m a pretty quiet person, although when I get to know others I become really extroverted. Any tips to be more extroverted??

Reply 1

Old Skool Freak

Please clarify what it is you would like... Do you want to:-

a) Be the life and soul of the party, centre of attention etc. or
b) Simply have the confidence ./ ability to initiate conversations?

Reply 2

gregregregreg

Original post by Old Skool Freak

Please clarify what it is you would like... Do you want to:-

a) Be the life and soul of the party, centre of attention etc. or
b) Simply have the confidence ./ ability to initiate conversations?

b most likely

Reply 3

username5955039

Original post by puppylove12

I’m a pretty quiet person, although when I get to know others I become really extroverted. Any tips to be more extroverted??

No it’s the way to go about it keeping to yourself and you know

I guess I want B

OK...

Sounds like you need to practice breaking the ice with people... and once you get going, you're like a pack of pringles _{(once you pop, the fun don't stop)} .

Before we get started, the first thing you need to do is to accept responsibly for your predicament. Please note, I'm not saying that it's your fault that you're like this; I'm talking about YOU taking ownership of this to ensure you're successful in becoming the person you want to be. It won't always be easy or comfortable, but bear in mind, if you do nothing, then nothing is going to change... and you'll still be the same in 30-40 years time.

One of the things I started doing to increase my confidence in chatting to people was to talk to random supermarket staff (e.g. check-out staff, those walking the shop floor etc.)... I'll explain why I considered this to be a good training ground.

1) Customer care is at the forefront of their job, so they're never going to be rude to you; regardless of how boring your chat is (it's literally more than their jobs-worth).
2) Due to the nature of the environment, it should remove an concept of "getting a result".
3) Also, you're only likely to be chatting to them for a minute or so; therefore there's little opportunity for an awkward silence to develop.

So you can break the ice by asking someone on the shop floor where a particular item is, and make some general chit chat as they're showing you where it is. Similarly go to a staffed till when paying for your stuff and chat to the person on the till while they're scanning them. It gets very repetitive scanning items, and the only people who talk to them are normally the elderly... so a young person would make a nice change.

What do you talk about... keep it fairly generic and use the surroundings as conversational starters:- can ask how their shift is going; how busy / quiet the store is; the weather / the time of year etc. Obviously avoid asking personal questions. When you're finished, say nice chatting to them and wish them well.

If you're worried about messing up, then try going to different store / supermarket than your usual.. or even go to a neighbouring town. IT takes a bit of practice... but once you can break the ice with people in that kind of environment, you'll be able to do it in others (just take my word on that for now)

Reply 6

Zarek

You have to force yourself outside of your initial comfort zone, introduce your self to people more, break in to conversations to share you views and anecdotes etc. This said it’s fine to be quiet if you are getting to know people ok and you can’t change your personality entirely, even if you wanted too