Feeling like an absolute idiot at Uni?

So I decided on a uni far (almost 4 hours) from home, and moved in yesterday, and honestly I hate it. I’m sat in my room at 4am after being out and All i can think about is going home. I feel like I’ve ruined me self-image here already and people are reacting to me in the way i feared, it’s taken me to realise that I’m actually awful at socialising, I’m the most likely one to get ignored in a group, I overthink and just tend to keep quiet, I don’t have a confidence because i’ve always been perceived as the awkward/quiet one, the one that needs looking after etc, and it just makes me want to run from myself because everyone I’ve met here so far is big into clubbing/going out/very confident/popular. I’m genuinely considering moving home asap and commuting to the uni nearby, would that be possible at this time in Sept? I really wish I were like everyone else but somehow being around people sucks the energy out of me and i feel better alone (which i know is so ridiculous i wish i were normal). My Dad always said that it might turn out like this, but I didn’t believe him because for some reason I thought it would be great. I hate drinking also because it makes me feel ill ( I KNOW how pathetic that is). HELP please, any suggestions of what i could do are so appreciated.

Reply 1

Labib98

12

There’s no growing without suffering, uni is more than just doing exams. If you’re a weirdo, you can stop being one through practice. Basically get to know different groups of people and everytime you **** up your reputation move on a different group trying to learn what made them think of you as a mongoloid, over you’ll learn and eventually become a normal person.

(edited 7 months ago)

Reply 2

PQ

Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Original post by unsweetenedblue

So I decided on a uni far (almost 4 hours) from home, and moved in yesterday, and honestly I hate it. I’m sat in my room at 4am after being out and All i can think about is going home. I feel like I’ve ruined me self-image here already and people are reacting to me in the way i feared, it’s taken me to realise that I’m actually awful at socialising, I’m the most likely one to get ignored in a group, I overthink and just tend to keep quiet, I don’t have a confidence because i’ve always been perceived as the awkward/quiet one, the one that needs looking after etc, and it just makes me want to run from myself because everyone I’ve met here so far is big into clubbing/going out/very confident/popular. I’m genuinely considering moving home asap and commuting to the uni nearby, would that be possible at this time in Sept? I really wish I were like everyone else but somehow being around people sucks the energy out of me and i feel better alone (which i know is so ridiculous i wish i were normal). My Dad always said that it might turn out like this, but I didn’t believe him because for some reason I thought it would be great. I hate drinking also because it makes me feel ill ( I KNOW how pathetic that is). HELP please, any suggestions of what i could do are so appreciated.

How many thousands of students are at your university?
There’s hundreds or even thousands of less outgoing people at your university who you just haven’t met yet. Probably because you have been trying to socialise in a way that doesn’t suit you or them!

Does your SU offer any more low key socialising options? Have you started your course yet? Have you looked for any clubs/societies centred around less full on activities that you would enjoy?

Reply 3

Veet Voojagig

11

Original post by unsweetenedblue

I really wish I were like everyone else but somehow being around people sucks the energy out of me and i feel better alone (which i know is so ridiculous i wish i were normal).

There is nothing weird or abnormal about being an introvert, and you will only make yourself miserable by continuing to believe that you are somehow "broken". Once you accept yourself as you are, you will find likeminded friends. Enjoy your alone time and use it to recharge. Uni life can be exhausting for us introverts, so make full use of those quiet moments to regain your balance.

As for the alcohol thing, not everybody likes to drink and some people actually have an intolerance that makes them pretty ill when they consume even small amounts. You do not need alcohol to have fun. Like I said, try to find likeminded friends outside of the partying culture. Perhaps join a society or two. Most importantly, enjoy your studies. That is what you are there for, after all :smile:

Trust me, you will find your niche in the end.

Original post by unsweetenedblue

So I decided on a uni far (almost 4 hours) from home, and moved in yesterday, and honestly I hate it. I’m sat in my room at 4am after being out and All i can think about is going home. I feel like I’ve ruined me self-image here already and people are reacting to me in the way i feared, it’s taken me to realise that I’m actually awful at socialising, I’m the most likely one to get ignored in a group, I overthink and just tend to keep quiet, I don’t have a confidence because i’ve always been perceived as the awkward/quiet one, the one that needs looking after etc, and it just makes me want to run from myself because everyone I’ve met here so far is big into clubbing/going out/very confident/popular. I’m genuinely considering moving home asap and commuting to the uni nearby, would that be possible at this time in Sept? I really wish I were like everyone else but somehow being around people sucks the energy out of me and i feel better alone (which i know is so ridiculous i wish i were normal). My Dad always said that it might turn out like this, but I didn’t believe him because for some reason I thought it would be great. I hate drinking also because it makes me feel ill ( I KNOW how pathetic that is). HELP please, any suggestions of what i could do are so appreciated.

Hi there @unsweetenedblue

I understand that it can be really overwhelming during the start of University. Well done for trying out something new and stepping out of your comfort zone. Even if it did not go too well, you now have a better understanding of yourself- like what type of events are for you and what aren't.

I was also in the same situation as you two years ago. I have always been a quiet person, very introverted, yet I also moved to a University 4 hours from home. At the time I thought it would be a good idea to gain more independence, confidence, and learn different skills. For the past two years, I have definitely learnt a lot, and would not be at my current position if I didn't step out of my comfort zone. I am much more happy with myself than two years ago.

Being a quiet, introverted person is not weird at all. There are many people that are like this. Being introverted does mean we lose energy during large socials, so throwing yourself into the deep end can be quite tiring. (Fresher's week is a bit different, as it is almost non-stop events, after that I found everyone to start getting on with their studies and developing new hobbies through societies). Many students will be into clubbing, drinking and going to socials that we may not feel comfortable in. There is no pressure to go, I knew it would be too much for me, so I never attended them. If you do not feel comfortable drinking, then don't. I met most my friends through my course or by joining societies.

Societies generally consist of people with same hobbies, so it will be easier to pick up on conversations. Hopefully the general environment and vibe of the society will be more friendly to you too. If you are struggling to meet people, maybe check out your University's schemes - maybe buddy schemes? wellbeing groups? (these are stuff like meeting up for coffee or going on walks together) There are many ways to meet people at University. I am sure you will find a lovely group of friends who you feel comfortable around. Take your time to settle in and go at your own pace. :smile:

Hope this helps. :smile:

Chloe
-University of Kent Student Rep

Feeling like an absolute idiot at Uni?

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