I can’t get a date if my life depended on it

This sounds weird but I can’t get a date. I’ve had hundreds of matches and talking stages but the conversation always fizzles out- either they ghost me or I ghost them (because the convo gets dry). I’m not saying it’s the other persons fault, I blame myself. It’s as if I don’t know how to pursue anyone romantically. A couple of girls have asked for my insta because we have been “talking like friends”. I have asked like two people out who said yes, they asked for my number/ socials then nothing happens- I never ask them if they still want to meet bc I thought that would seem sad if they never add my socials.

I think I might be over nice perhaps? Idk. I feel like giving up on dating apps, I’ve never had a relationship so I think once I have more experience it might be easier?

But yeah- I haven’t got a clue what to do anymore- I think maybe I’m ill fated with dating. I’d say I have average looks and I like to make people laugh (I know that would be biased but friends have said the same thing). My friends have also said I’m awful at flirting irl when I’ve been approached by people I apparently seem like I brush them off…I just say smth like “thanks you too what’s your name” and they seem to look annoyed lol. ADVICE PLS!

Reply 1

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

If you are getting that many conversations started then your profile and pics must be at least decent.

How long are you talking with them for before things dry up? Usually it's best to ask for a meetup ASAP as that will immediately filter out any time wasters who just want a chat/ego boost, and in-person you get to see whether there's any genuine spark from either of you.

If you are not asking them to meet then they may well perceive that as lack of interest on your part.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Admit-One

I’ve tried asking them out after 2-3 days of talking, that is with breaks I may add as I might forget to reply/ they forget to reply for a while. I wonder if i reply too slow sometimes but that’s because I’m busy doing stuff, like they would reply within 5 mins and I’ll reply in half an hour which I didn’t think was that bad? But I just think that’s girls who are bored and want to fill time, others will reply to me if even if I reply two weeks later.

I ask a lot about music taste or favourite pubs to get to know them a bit or reply to their prompts and sometimes it can cause good convo but then I don’t know when is appropriate to ask them out…ie to change from what we were talking about.

friends have said in the past that people they’ve set me up with feel like I lack interest though, it’s just how I am- I’m quite shy irl and wouldn’t want to come on too strong. I’m working on being more confident atm

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Articles for you

How to write an excellent personal statement in 10 steps

What university is really like

What is an LLM and how could it benefit your career?

Powerful questions business students forget to ask their career advisers