No friends in university want to transfer
Heyy I'm 1st year student. Despite having gone to numerous events, clubbing, joining societies I haven't made a single friend. I'm not close to family so it makes it harder. I'm social and can speak to strangers easily and even went to a recent event on my own. All this and God/universe doesn't want me to have friends.
It makes me want to transfer unis. Any thoughts 😥 is transferring a good idea? Specifically thinking of going to BCU
It makes me want to transfer unis. Any thoughts 😥 is transferring a good idea? Specifically thinking of going to BCU
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The thing to remember is that things like this will take time. In any situation making friends is not a quick process. It takes time to foster and build relationships of any kind.
Now, I am studying for my own degree, but I am distance learning, so I don't have any insight to offer in terms of the 'in-person-making-friends aspect. However, I do know that it is hard to make friends in life in general. Like I say, is a process — and it may not happen in the way that we expect.
From what I have heard from many other people who go to a 'brick university', it is very hard to make friends in the first year, if at all. Often, the first few people — or groups of people — that you meet won't be the same people that you are friends with years down the line.
You mention that you're quite sociable, and an outgoing person — which is a very good start. I would suggest keep doing that. Keep attending different events that align with the things you are interested in.
Like reading? Go to a book club. Like football? Go to a football club, or regular meet up. Like writing? Check out writing clubs in the area.
By doing this, you will meet like-minded people, and hopefully that should help things. In general, I have found life's friendships can come out of nowhere and everywhere — and not always when, and where, we expect it. So, I suggest trying not to focus so much on the act of making friends, but rather the establishing of connections. Then I feel like it will become a more interesting experience for you, rather than something that feels like it has to be done.
Lastly, I hope that this post and my comments were useful. I do hope also that this wasn't too rambly.
Now, I am studying for my own degree, but I am distance learning, so I don't have any insight to offer in terms of the 'in-person-making-friends aspect. However, I do know that it is hard to make friends in life in general. Like I say, is a process — and it may not happen in the way that we expect.
From what I have heard from many other people who go to a 'brick university', it is very hard to make friends in the first year, if at all. Often, the first few people — or groups of people — that you meet won't be the same people that you are friends with years down the line.
You mention that you're quite sociable, and an outgoing person — which is a very good start. I would suggest keep doing that. Keep attending different events that align with the things you are interested in.
Like reading? Go to a book club. Like football? Go to a football club, or regular meet up. Like writing? Check out writing clubs in the area.
By doing this, you will meet like-minded people, and hopefully that should help things. In general, I have found life's friendships can come out of nowhere and everywhere — and not always when, and where, we expect it. So, I suggest trying not to focus so much on the act of making friends, but rather the establishing of connections. Then I feel like it will become a more interesting experience for you, rather than something that feels like it has to be done.
Lastly, I hope that this post and my comments were useful. I do hope also that this wasn't too rambly.
(edited 11 months ago)
Original post by LiteraryGeek
The thing to remember is that things like this will take time. In any situation making friends is not a quick process. It takes time to foster and build relationships of any kind.
Now, I am studying for my own degree, but I am distance learning, so I don't have any insight to offer in terms of the 'in-person-making-friends aspect. However, I do know that it is hard to make friends in life in general. Like I say, is a process — and it may not happen in the way that we expect.
From what I have heard from many other people who go to a 'brick university', it is very hard to make friends in the first year, if at all. Often, the first few people — or groups of people — that you meet won't be the same people that you are friends with years down the line.
You mention that you're quite sociable, and an outgoing person — which is a very good start. I would suggest keep doing that. Keep attending different events that align with the things you are interested in.
Like reading? Go to a book club. Like football? Go to a football club, or regular meet up. Like writing? Check out writing clubs in the area.
By doing this, you will meet like-minded people, and hopefully that should help things. In general, I have found life's friendships can come out of nowhere and everywhere — and not always when, and where, we expect it. So, I suggest trying not to focus so much on the act of making friends, but rather the establishing of connections. Then I feel like it will become a more interesting experience for you, rather than something that feels like it has to be done.
Lastly, I hope that this post and my comments were useful. I do hope also that this wasn't too rambly.
Now, I am studying for my own degree, but I am distance learning, so I don't have any insight to offer in terms of the 'in-person-making-friends aspect. However, I do know that it is hard to make friends in life in general. Like I say, is a process — and it may not happen in the way that we expect.
From what I have heard from many other people who go to a 'brick university', it is very hard to make friends in the first year, if at all. Often, the first few people — or groups of people — that you meet won't be the same people that you are friends with years down the line.
You mention that you're quite sociable, and an outgoing person — which is a very good start. I would suggest keep doing that. Keep attending different events that align with the things you are interested in.
Like reading? Go to a book club. Like football? Go to a football club, or regular meet up. Like writing? Check out writing clubs in the area.
By doing this, you will meet like-minded people, and hopefully that should help things. In general, I have found life's friendships can come out of nowhere and everywhere — and not always when, and where, we expect it. So, I suggest trying not to focus so much on the act of making friends, but rather the establishing of connections. Then I feel like it will become a more interesting experience for you, rather than something that feels like it has to be done.
Lastly, I hope that this post and my comments were useful. I do hope also that this wasn't too rambly.
Awhh thank you for your message. Definitely easier said than done. The 'connections' I have feel so weak especially knowing the people I've met are going to graduate soon aha.
Sadly seems more of my interests/hobbies are available at bcu which is one of the reasons I want to transfer somewhere else. Be in a new environment.
Then again it's not guaranteed I'll make friends at another uni lol at least there's societies that I'll enjoy.
Original post by anwarm0
Heyy I'm 1st year student. Despite having gone to numerous events, clubbing, joining societies I haven't made a single friend. I'm not close to family so it makes it harder. I'm social and can speak to strangers easily and even went to a recent event on my own. All this and God/universe doesn't want me to have friends.
It makes me want to transfer unis. Any thoughts 😥 is transferring a good idea? Specifically thinking of going to BCU
It makes me want to transfer unis. Any thoughts 😥 is transferring a good idea? Specifically thinking of going to BCU
Hey, hang in there. Let it happen naturally, do not overthink it. You are at uni to make the most of life, lets look at the positives: you are social person, you are happy to speak to strangers, and its fair to presume you are confident too - You have SO much going for you, now lets look at the one negative - 1. you havent met people like you (JUST YET). Pros outweigh the cons. You are doing all the right things, let the jigsaw fall into place slowly. Transferring university doesnt guarantee you will find friends as we have already established, you are not the issue here, its just a case of finding someone like you.
If i can give you some things to try: depending on the course you are doing (naturally in some courses students may be introverts) strike up a convo with someone from your class, be it a complaint about a module or lecturer etc, and then just take it from there.
Original post by NKNK12
Hey, hang in there. Let it happen naturally, do not overthink it. You are at uni to make the most of life, lets look at the positives: you are social person, you are happy to speak to strangers, and its fair to presume you are confident too - You have SO much going for you, now lets look at the one negative - 1. you havent met people like you (JUST YET). Pros outweigh the cons. You are doing all the right things, let the jigsaw fall into place slowly. Transferring university doesnt guarantee you will find friends as we have already established, you are not the issue here, its just a case of finding someone like you.
If i can give you some things to try: depending on the course you are doing (naturally in some courses students may be introverts) strike up a convo with someone from your class, be it a complaint about a module or lecturer etc, and then just take it from there.
If i can give you some things to try: depending on the course you are doing (naturally in some courses students may be introverts) strike up a convo with someone from your class, be it a complaint about a module or lecturer etc, and then just take it from there.
I appreciate your response <3. I think I'm counting more negatives for me. Most hobbies + interests aren't available at/near my uni making it harder to stay occupied. I've tried speaking to course mates and have a gc with them but many commute and don't seem interested to hang outside of class. Maybe I'll try again after term break.
Regardless, you're rightt I do have a lot going for me 😥.
Original post by anwarm0
Heyy I'm 1st year student. Despite having gone to numerous events, clubbing, joining societies I haven't made a single friend. I'm not close to family so it makes it harder. I'm social and can speak to strangers easily and even went to a recent event on my own. All this and God/universe doesn't want me to have friends.
It makes me want to transfer unis. Any thoughts 😥 is transferring a good idea? Specifically thinking of going to BCU
It makes me want to transfer unis. Any thoughts 😥 is transferring a good idea? Specifically thinking of going to BCU
What university do you go to
Original post by anwarm0
Heyy I'm 1st year student. Despite having gone to numerous events, clubbing, joining societies I haven't made a single friend. I'm not close to family so it makes it harder. I'm social and can speak to strangers easily and even went to a recent event on my own. All this and God/universe doesn't want me to have friends.
It makes me want to transfer unis. Any thoughts 😥 is transferring a good idea? Specifically thinking of going to BCU
It makes me want to transfer unis. Any thoughts 😥 is transferring a good idea? Specifically thinking of going to BCU
Transferring universities is really unlikely to change your social situation.
Since you're apparently doing all the usual social things, I would instead suggest looking at seeing what your definition of "friend" is and whether that's of a considerably higher standard than most people hold. As it may well be plenty of other people consider you their friend already and by most standards you would be considered their friend, but you don't see it that way.
Original post by Cloud2023
What university do you go to
University of Roehampton. Wbu? If you're in uni
Original post by anwarm0
University of Roehampton. Wbu? If you're in uni
I’m in Y13
Where is the university you go too
I’m sorry I’ve never heard of it
Did you want to go to Birmingham city university?
Original post by anwarm0
I appreciate your response <3. I think I'm counting more negatives for me. Most hobbies + interests aren't available at/near my uni making it harder to stay occupied. I've tried speaking to course mates and have a gc with them but many commute and don't seem interested to hang outside of class. Maybe I'll try again after term break.
Regardless, you're rightt I do have a lot going for me 😥.
Regardless, you're rightt I do have a lot going for me 😥.
thats the spirit, give it another crack - see how you get on. Look worst case scenario it takes longer than ud like, but dont change who you are. If i was nearby (or even remotely close) I would have taken you for a drink or two, shot pool with you. Best of luck though.
Original post by artful_lounger
Transferring universities is really unlikely to change your social situation.
Since you're apparently doing all the usual social things, I would instead suggest looking at seeing what your definition of "friend" is and whether that's of a considerably higher standard than most people hold. As it may well be plenty of other people consider you their friend already and by most standards you would be considered their friend, but you don't see it that way.
Since you're apparently doing all the usual social things, I would instead suggest looking at seeing what your definition of "friend" is and whether that's of a considerably higher standard than most people hold. As it may well be plenty of other people consider you their friend already and by most standards you would be considered their friend, but you don't see it that way.
Yeah maybe not but I'm hopeful. Aww that's probably true too. I always feel my friendships have been one-sided. Art of perception.
Although I don't wanna lower my standards as I had few issues with people so don't wanna go back and hang out with them even if it was fun :/.
Original post by Cloud2023
I’m in Y13
Where is the university you go too
I’m sorry I’ve never heard of it
Did you want to go to Birmingham city university?
Where is the university you go too
I’m sorry I’ve never heard of it
Did you want to go to Birmingham city university?
It's in SW London. Npp. Maybe transfer my head is all over the place though.
What unis are you planning on going to?
Original post by NKNK12
thats the spirit, give it another crack - see how you get on. Look worst case scenario it takes longer than ud like, but dont change who you are. If i was nearby (or even remotely close) I would have taken you for a drink or two, shot pool with you. Best of luck though.
Awhh that's sweet would've been fun. Then we'd find out why I have no friends 🤣😭 jkk.
Wow how far are you located?
Original post by anwarm0
It's in SW London. Npp. Maybe transfer my head is all over the place though.
What unis are you planning on going to?
What unis are you planning on going to?
First I need to get accepted
I want to do medicine
Do you think part of the problem may be where the uni is situated. It seems to be a mainly residential area with limited resources locally for socialising and not geared up for students. A very boring location!
If there are other unis that would suit you better make sure you do your research on them and visit them first.
If there are other unis that would suit you better make sure you do your research on them and visit them first.
Original post by nutz99
Do you think part of the problem may be where the uni is situated. It seems to be a mainly residential area with limited resources locally for socialising and not geared up for students. A very boring location!
If there are other unis that would suit you better make sure you do your research on them and visit them first.
If there are other unis that would suit you better make sure you do your research on them and visit them first.
🤣Very blunt and right. Bcu was my 1st option for that reason. I visited it 2x. Other unis I'm not sure - my ucas points are loww.
Original post by Cloud2023
First I need to get accepted
I want to do medicine
I want to do medicine
Ofcc aha. Good luck!! Tough one having to do all them entry exams.
Original post by anwarm0
Ofcc aha. Good luck!! Tough one having to do all them entry exams.
Yep it’s very tough
Try bcu when they go into clearing they don’t care about grades they have to fill the spaces.
What are you actually wanting to do at bcu
Original post by Cloud2023
Yep it’s very tough
Try bcu when they go into clearing they don’t care about grades they have to fill the spaces.
What are you actually wanting to do at bcu
Try bcu when they go into clearing they don’t care about grades they have to fill the spaces.
What are you actually wanting to do at bcu
I study sociology so preferably transfer to same course ig. Clearing sounds risky cos accom isn't guaranteed atp or I'd have the most expensive ones. I'll weigh out my options though thankk youu.
Original post by anwarm0
I study sociology so preferably transfer to same course ig. Clearing sounds risky cos accom isn't guaranteed atp or I'd have the most expensive ones. I'll weigh out my options though thankk youu.
Universities go into clearing before results day so have a look.
But accommodation prices in Birmingham have rocketed. They are sky high
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