19M not able to talk to girls, getting too much desperate for a gf

It's irritates me when I see couples in my college, definitely it's insecures me, and why it wouldn't, it's my age, hormones are on the peak at this age

I somehow started talking to a girl, she was my only female friend, started liking her , I confessed her, she rejected me on my face and asked to be just friends

Now I can't even talk to her becoz of obvious reasons

It's very difficult for me to approach any girl in college I am interested in, don't know when I will gain the confidence to do it

Reply 1

Ayshton

To be honest I understand this 100%

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

The reason she did this is because you told her how you felt when you weren't even dating. In most cases this scares people away, even if they like you. If you want to tell someone how you feel that's what you do when you're already an item. Another thing if you want a GF you have to be able to relax with girls and just hang out with them with no stress.

Reply 3

Old Skool Freak

Original post by Anonymous #1

It's irritates me when I see couples in my college, definitely it's insecures me, and why it wouldn't, it's my age, hormones are on the peak at this age

... And it irritates me when I see people driving around in Ferraris or chauffeured in Rolls Royce's. That's why I'm working on a secret master plan for World Domination. :wink:

Getting desperate is NOT going to help you get a girlfriend. If anything, it'll have the opposite effect as desperation is probably the most off-putting thing for anyone. Learn to be happy with yourself first of all, and all this will naturally flow.

I somehow started talking to a girl, she was my only female friend, started liking her , I confessed her, she rejected me on my face and asked to be just friends

TBF, that could have been worse. Quite often people get freaked out when a "friend" unexpectedly declares their undying love for them... and it's completely unexpected. She could have cut you off completely (it's quite common for this to happen)... or she may have had a boyfriend who pulls you aside for a "friendly-chat".

Now I can't even talk to her becoz of obvious reasons

I still don't see why you "can't" talk to her... you've got a tongue and a voice box, you've been talking to her before all this, and she asked to be friends, so what's (really) stopping you?

... or do you (really) mean you "won't" talk to her 🤔

It's very difficult for me to approach any girl in college I am interested in, don't know when I will gain the confidence to do it

It might help you (in the first instance at least) if you let go of the whole couple / girlfriend thing, and approach them with the mindset "She looks interesting, let's find out her story"... (cause you're a nosey f**ker, ain't ya 😜) after all, you don't know her, so you could talk to her and find out she has the personality of a decaying fish, or you're just too different.

I also echo what Anon#2 said, about declaring things too quick, too soon. If you're attracted to someone, keep it light-hearted and simple to start with... No big romantic gestures, just simple signs that you pay attention to her will be plenty, for example, "Your hair really suits you when you have it like that" or "It was really cool when you did XYZ". (she'll get the message). IF after a bit of that it goes well, then suggest doing something together after college.

And you're not going to get confident / comfortable about this by thinking about it endlessly in your bedroom or moaning about it on here. There's a reason for that old saying "Actions speak louder than words". The more you put yourself out there, the easier it will become... and the sooner you'll get a girlfriend.