Is my friend acting weird?
I don’t really wanna describe the way she is as “weird” if all of this is really is her personal choice. I just want to see other people’s perspective on this.
I’ve been friends with this girl since Year 7, and we are still friends even in Year 12. At first, a lot of us weren’t nice to her because no one wanted the responsibility of taking care of a new student (she joined halfway through Year 7).
Later as days went by, she forgave us for being rude that one day and we grew as stronger friends. Now here’s the weird part. She’s never really owned a phone. Might not have seemed weird at first because she was in Year 7, but she hasn’t had her own individual phone until Year 12.
If she wanted to text us, she would use her mum’s phone but that way of contacting her only remained until Year 8. After that, we actually had no way of contacting her except through her school email. So every holiday we would never see each other or talk to each other. Then, she finally gave us her personal email midst Year 11.
We would talk a lot using her personal email and it remained that way. Then we went out for the first time, a group of four including me and her. Just deep it. Our first time going out was in YEAR 11. No, not even in Year 11. It was literally after GCSEs were over. In our 5 years of being friends, the first time we ever went out was after Year 11 ended.
Then, at the beginning of Year 12 she told us she would delete her personal email, not even a reason given to us and then again we had no way of contacting her. That is of course until she got a phone to finally contact us on! But oddly enough, we STILL don’t have her on any social medias - not even her phone number was given to us.
She first said “I have to ask my mum first if I can give you my number” and then another day she went “I don’t want to give you guys my number, I just want to use it for youtube.”
Besides all of this, there are some other weird things. She doesn’t ever want to attend any school event. She didn’t even come to the shirt signing day when we finished Year 11. She doesn’t join any clubs. She also mentions to me a lot that she’s never been to a store alone.
Also, she is ALWAYS cooking. Every. Single. Day. And I know that sounds like I’m reaching, but for a 17 year old who gets a TON of homework (which I would know because I’m in 2 out of 3 of her classes), she has the time to do cooking everyday? And she’s not tired of doing it? It makes me grow a little concerned for her.
Anyways, I’m sorry this was long for anyone who bothered to read this, but PLEASE leave any thought of this. I’m kind of scared for her. It took me now 6 years to realise that this behaviour isn’t exactly “normal”.
I’ve been friends with this girl since Year 7, and we are still friends even in Year 12. At first, a lot of us weren’t nice to her because no one wanted the responsibility of taking care of a new student (she joined halfway through Year 7).
Later as days went by, she forgave us for being rude that one day and we grew as stronger friends. Now here’s the weird part. She’s never really owned a phone. Might not have seemed weird at first because she was in Year 7, but she hasn’t had her own individual phone until Year 12.
If she wanted to text us, she would use her mum’s phone but that way of contacting her only remained until Year 8. After that, we actually had no way of contacting her except through her school email. So every holiday we would never see each other or talk to each other. Then, she finally gave us her personal email midst Year 11.
We would talk a lot using her personal email and it remained that way. Then we went out for the first time, a group of four including me and her. Just deep it. Our first time going out was in YEAR 11. No, not even in Year 11. It was literally after GCSEs were over. In our 5 years of being friends, the first time we ever went out was after Year 11 ended.
Then, at the beginning of Year 12 she told us she would delete her personal email, not even a reason given to us and then again we had no way of contacting her. That is of course until she got a phone to finally contact us on! But oddly enough, we STILL don’t have her on any social medias - not even her phone number was given to us.
She first said “I have to ask my mum first if I can give you my number” and then another day she went “I don’t want to give you guys my number, I just want to use it for youtube.”
Besides all of this, there are some other weird things. She doesn’t ever want to attend any school event. She didn’t even come to the shirt signing day when we finished Year 11. She doesn’t join any clubs. She also mentions to me a lot that she’s never been to a store alone.
Also, she is ALWAYS cooking. Every. Single. Day. And I know that sounds like I’m reaching, but for a 17 year old who gets a TON of homework (which I would know because I’m in 2 out of 3 of her classes), she has the time to do cooking everyday? And she’s not tired of doing it? It makes me grow a little concerned for her.
Anyways, I’m sorry this was long for anyone who bothered to read this, but PLEASE leave any thought of this. I’m kind of scared for her. It took me now 6 years to realise that this behaviour isn’t exactly “normal”.
Hmm you’re right, that is quite odd…
From how you describe her she doesn’t seem to be in danger/a crisis but it’s certainly interesting. You’ve highlighted a lot of concerns in this post and I think it’s a sign you are a very good friend/caring individual.
To be honest, I’d say the best decision would be to simply speak to her upfront about your concerns. I think you’ve already diagnosed a number of reasons why you’re concerned for her (her shying away from others, never being to a store alone, hyper focusing on cooking) so it might just be a good idea to speak to her from the heart.
From how you describe her she doesn’t seem to be in danger/a crisis but it’s certainly interesting. You’ve highlighted a lot of concerns in this post and I think it’s a sign you are a very good friend/caring individual.
To be honest, I’d say the best decision would be to simply speak to her upfront about your concerns. I think you’ve already diagnosed a number of reasons why you’re concerned for her (her shying away from others, never being to a store alone, hyper focusing on cooking) so it might just be a good idea to speak to her from the heart.
I was friends with a girl who didn't have a phone til she started uni. it didn't really bother her cos she didn't have a lot of friends other than me.
What exactly are you worried about? That her parents are over-protective or controlling or is it deeper than that, do you fear for her safety and what has lead you to that concern? It's ok to care about your friend but unfounded worries are not healthy. Have you met her parents, been to her house, any other normal friendship-like things.
As for the cooking, maybe she likes cooking, maybe it helps her relax.
What exactly are you worried about? That her parents are over-protective or controlling or is it deeper than that, do you fear for her safety and what has lead you to that concern? It's ok to care about your friend but unfounded worries are not healthy. Have you met her parents, been to her house, any other normal friendship-like things.
As for the cooking, maybe she likes cooking, maybe it helps her relax.
Original post by hippieglitter
I was friends with a girl who didn't have a phone til she started uni. it didn't really bother her cos she didn't have a lot of friends other than me.
What exactly are you worried about? That her parents are over-protective or controlling or is it deeper than that, do you fear for her safety and what has lead you to that concern? It's ok to care about your friend but unfounded worries are not healthy. Have you met her parents, been to her house, any other normal friendship-like things.
As for the cooking, maybe she likes cooking, maybe it helps her relax.
What exactly are you worried about? That her parents are over-protective or controlling or is it deeper than that, do you fear for her safety and what has lead you to that concern? It's ok to care about your friend but unfounded worries are not healthy. Have you met her parents, been to her house, any other normal friendship-like things.
As for the cooking, maybe she likes cooking, maybe it helps her relax.
That's what I'm thinking too...like it isn't that rare to see over-controlling parents who are most likely telling her to delete her email, or not share her number, or not have any socials.
My thought was immediately that her family may be the problem. They may be excessively working her, which may explain the hyper cooking and stuff- and the over-possessiveness over a Yr 12, kinda tells me her parents may be the ones at fault here.
Original post by Dousing
Hmm you’re right, that is quite odd…
From how you describe her she doesn’t seem to be in danger/a crisis but it’s certainly interesting. You’ve highlighted a lot of concerns in this post and I think it’s a sign you are a very good friend/caring individual.
To be honest, I’d say the best decision would be to simply speak to her upfront about your concerns. I think you’ve already diagnosed a number of reasons why you’re concerned for her (her shying away from others, never being to a store alone, hyper focusing on cooking) so it might just be a good idea to speak to her from the heart.
From how you describe her she doesn’t seem to be in danger/a crisis but it’s certainly interesting. You’ve highlighted a lot of concerns in this post and I think it’s a sign you are a very good friend/caring individual.
To be honest, I’d say the best decision would be to simply speak to her upfront about your concerns. I think you’ve already diagnosed a number of reasons why you’re concerned for her (her shying away from others, never being to a store alone, hyper focusing on cooking) so it might just be a good idea to speak to her from the heart.
I’ve been thinking about talking to her about it but I don’t wanna seem crazy if anything I’m thinking isn’t actually the case and she’s just a really quiet, introverted person.
Original post by hippieglitter
I was friends with a girl who didn't have a phone til she started uni. it didn't really bother her cos she didn't have a lot of friends other than me.
What exactly are you worried about? That her parents are over-protective or controlling or is it deeper than that, do you fear for her safety and what has lead you to that concern? It's ok to care about your friend but unfounded worries are not healthy. Have you met her parents, been to her house, any other normal friendship-like things.
As for the cooking, maybe she likes cooking, maybe it helps her relax.
What exactly are you worried about? That her parents are over-protective or controlling or is it deeper than that, do you fear for her safety and what has lead you to that concern? It's ok to care about your friend but unfounded worries are not healthy. Have you met her parents, been to her house, any other normal friendship-like things.
As for the cooking, maybe she likes cooking, maybe it helps her relax.
I just fear the idea that she might be doing things against her will. I mean seriously it’s just makes me a bit concerned that a 17 year old girl wants to be this isolated from her friends, barely going out with them while simultaneously not having their contact number. I’m not sure if your friend went out a lot with you but as I mentioned, mine doesn’t.
Original post by Anonymous #2
That's what I'm thinking too...like it isn't that rare to see over-controlling parents who are most likely telling her to delete her email, or not share her number, or not have any socials.
My thought was immediately that her family may be the problem. They may be excessively working her, which may explain the hyper cooking and stuff- and the over-possessiveness over a Yr 12, kinda tells me her parents may be the ones at fault here.
Original post by hippieglitter
I was friends with a girl who didn't have a phone til she started uni. it didn't really bother her cos she didn't have a lot of friends other than me.
What exactly are you worried about? That her parents are over-protective or controlling or is it deeper than that, do you fear for her safety and what has lead you to that concern? It's ok to care about your friend but unfounded worries are not healthy. Have you met her parents, been to her house, any other normal friendship-like things.
As for the cooking, maybe she likes cooking, maybe it helps her relax.
What exactly are you worried about? That her parents are over-protective or controlling or is it deeper than that, do you fear for her safety and what has lead you to that concern? It's ok to care about your friend but unfounded worries are not healthy. Have you met her parents, been to her house, any other normal friendship-like things.
As for the cooking, maybe she likes cooking, maybe it helps her relax.
That's what I'm thinking too...like it isn't that rare to see over-controlling parents who are most likely telling her to delete her email, or not share her number, or not have any socials.
My thought was immediately that her family may be the problem. They may be excessively working her, which may explain the hyper cooking and stuff- and the over-possessiveness over a Yr 12, kinda tells me her parents may be the ones at fault here.
Yeah, I definitely see something along the lines of that. But it’s also hard for me to believe that because she always talks about loving her parents and how kind they are. Obviously she might not mean that but idk.
Original post by Anonymous #1
I just fear the idea that she might be doing things against her will. I mean seriously it’s just makes me a bit concerned that a 17 year old girl wants to be this isolated from her friends, barely going out with them while simultaneously not having their contact number. I’m not sure if your friend went out a lot with you but as I mentioned, mine doesn’t.
She didn't go out at all in the early years, it took me ages to convince her parents to let her come with me on the train to go shopping (we lived in the country) without an adult. I had been doing this on my own since I was 12 and it wasn't til our friend learned to drive that she started going anywhere else without her parents.
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