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Im pregnant but having an abortion, should i tell the father?

Hi,

I recently found out im pregnant, im only in the early stages of pregnancy.

The father is someone who we were kind of in a sex buddy relationship. I was on the pill but it obviously hasnt worked.

I cant tell anyone about this, im from a strict catholic home and all my friends are catholics. Its eaten me up inside over what to do whether to have an abortion or keep it, but i think its best to have an abortion as i cant provide anything for a baby. I know as an adult i should have taken more responsibilty though.

Should i tell the father of the baby? I think he will be ok with the abortion but i dont know. We arent really on talking terms anymore. I feel like i need to as he is the only person who i can cry to about it, but he will probably be annoyed as we came to the agreement not to talk.

Any advice? :sad:

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I think you should tell him. But that's just me.
Reply 2
A lot of people will say "tell him" because that's the status quo, but what's best for YOU? He's not your boyfriend anymore, he can't change your mind, and it will not affect your decision. Also he may not keep your secret. Therefore you'd probably be better keeping it to yourself. It's your choice. Ask yourself whether you'd feel better telling him and whether he needs to know.
Good luck with your abortion :smile: Make sure you book one as soon as possible so it's less of a traumatic experience; at these stages you may be able to simply take a pill.
i think you should tell your mum...
He's probably not gonna like to hear it and you are probably going to get even more upset over telling him/argue with him etc.

But then again it will get it off your chest and you will probably feel relieved to tell him. Telling someone, anyone, at least would probably help you deal with it somewhat, and not leave it to eat you up inside. Whether the father is the best person to tell or not, I don't know. Then again if he ever found out later he would probably be even more upset that you didn't tell him in the first place. It's up to you though.
Have you not got a close female friend you could tell? Or know someone who doesnt know or isnt connected to your family in anyway that you could tell? Even if your friends are Catholic they may be having sex themselves and not judge you/tell anyone. Depends how much you know/trust them I guess. But I do think this is a big enough issue to not have to feel pressurized to keep to yourself and make you feel worse than you already do.
I would. But only because we could make money off a guy being pregnant.

If I was a girl, I wouldn't.
You have to tell him, it's his as much as it is yours, and he has to support you (whether you're on speaking terms or not)

Take care
I couldn't imagine being in your position, so I don't know what I would do. Everybody on here is going to tell you what to do when it is something that you will have to decide for yourself, based on what is going on in your situation.

If you think he will be only be supportive, then perhaps you should think about telling him. If you think it would make it more difficult, then maybe that's not what you need right now.
Reply 8
Anonymous
Hi,

I recently found out im pregnant, im only in the early stages of pregnancy.

The father is someone who we were kind of in a sex buddy relationship. I was on the pill but it obviously hasnt worked.

I cant tell anyone about this, im from a strict catholic home and all my friends are catholics. Its eaten me up inside over what to do whether to have an abortion or keep it, but i think its best to have an abortion as i cant provide anything for a baby. I know as an adult i should have taken more responsibilty though.

Should i tell the father of the baby? I think he will be ok with the abortion but i dont know. We arent really on talking terms anymore. I feel like i need to as he is the only person who i can cry to about it, but he will probably be annoyed as we came to the agreement not to talk.

Any advice? :sad:


In your shoes, I probably would tell him. If you decide not to, at least try to talk to someone else.

Best of luck.
Yes you should tell the father
If you think he will supportive and help you through the situation, then yes tell him. If you think he might cause you problems or make you feel bad or try and guilt you into changing your mind, then don't. I think he should know but it depends if it's really for the best for you.
He has a right to know. Imagine if the situation was reversed (if possible). Wouldn't you want to know?
Howold are you?
If you tell him make sure you show him the pregnancy test. My ex GF told me she had an abortion, and I was doubtful at the time (she wasn't mentally stable). Turns out she was, in fact, lying to me. Don't ever let thoughts of uncertainty enter his mind if you do tell him, it's too serious an issue.
Yes. Even if you have no intention of seeing him again...or whatever you are doing he should know.
It is bad that it is always the woman's choice. Of course it is her body and she can do as she wishes. But it takes two to make a life. He may well support you and want to be a father ( I doubt this at a young age, but you never know)

He deserves to know that part of his creation is being aborted.
I have nothing against abortion at all, if it's the right choice then that's what you should do.
However I am against a potential father having no say on his unborn child's welfare whatsoever
Reply 15
Of course you should tell him. The baby is as much his as it is yours. Women tend to forget that
theres nothing wrong with keeping it a secret. since everyone keeps secrets.
but as long are your happy with keeping it a secret then dont tell him.
at the end of the day this is a big thing that has happened in your life, and you have the option to involve it into someone elses.
it could have good effects, or it could have bad.
plus you shouldnt feel bad about getting an abortion.

EDIT: however, if your keeping the child, then tell him, and your family.
Reply 17
I hope you're not catholic yourself because I'm not a fan of blind believers lol

Anyway you have to tell him since it's his as well.
Reply 18
You have to tell him.
You should tell your Mum and see what she says. Just because she's a Catholic doesn't mean she wouldn't support you. You might be surprised, and not need to get rid of it..
Also, have you considered adoption? That way, you don't have to get rid of it, but wouldn't have to look after it either.
Obviously you'd have to tell your family in that senario though.

Yes, I do think you should tell the father. There's a child that's his, & I think he has the right to know before you get rid of it. Just my opinion anyway.

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