Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

confused! things were going great, is he playing hard to get now or lost interest... Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hi all,

    I've been meeting this guy regularly over the past few months, he's in a professional role. i'm 22 years old and he's a lot older than me, 20 years in fact.
    We've got on fantastically everytime we've met, he's my driving instructor so i've seen hima fair bit ina professional setting. (i know that's unprofessional)
    I haven't had a lesson in a while and we started texting over that period, we had flirted loads before that and this continued through the texts. The guy is so sweet, full of compliments and has seemed seriously genuwine. He's been hurt by an ex wife so he's pretty bruised, which he told me himself.
    He said in texts he wants to get to know me better and has asked me some personal questions and insinuated many times that he wants to take things further as he likes me.
    But basically to cut a long story, he's cut down the texting quite a bit over the last few days and i didn't think much of it as he's busy man and has full custody over kids. But today I had my lesson and it just wasn't the same, before we've both felt so comfortable and had a laugh. he'd said he feels really at ease with me from the first time we met. But today, I felt he was really cold and distant..which is so weird seeing as we've been texting so frequently and we've both shown a lot of interest. even tho the texting had died off in the past few days.
    I did say to him at one point i didn't know if we were looking for the same things, given age etc but other than that i feel i've shown interest to the same level as himself.
    He's been nothing but lovely to me all along until now, when i felt really uncomfortable and strange.
    I've had guys do this to play games, but i mean given his age and the fact that he's a really sweet, caring man who's been walked on by women. i didn't expect it.

    can anyone fill me in, do you think he's playing the hard to get man, or has he lost interest? or am i just being paranoid?

    I've come to really like this guy, and i want something to happen as i've felt quite a lot of chemistry up until now. But if he's led me on i can't be arsed.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    i dont think he's leading you on. he sounds like he's interested in you for sure. but from his past experiences he is probably afraid to take it to the next level for fear of being hurt. he's probably scared to make the next move but it really sounds like he wants to. he could be insecure and fear that you might be leading him on and thinks he might get rejected if he makes the next step. tbh i would just ask him if he's ok and ask him straight out if he's interested in you. if he says yes then thats an open invitation for him to take it to the next level.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by its-like-that)
    can anyone fill me in
    I'm sure he'd be much obliged.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I dont think he is playing hard to get but something may have happend that he is not telling you about. If you knowhim well enough you should ask why he is being such a douchebag. You need to find out or itll drive you insane. Then again you could play him at his own game.:mmm:
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe he's rethinking.. I mean, the age gap is big.. you're old enough to be his daughter, and having full custody of the kids he probably wonders what they will think of it all, let alone his ex wife and family.

    Without being offensive, maybe he thought you were a good idea to start off with.. but then thought practically and decided against it.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Princessnavi22...Yeah totally get that that might be the case...but i was me who actually raised that issue in the first place. I said i had a few concerns about that and he basically said he was living life for the moment, not play by rules, things happen for a reason etc cause the last few yrs have been ****. so it wasn't him who ever suggested anything like that...so to me, if he is now starting to doubt, surely he wouldn't just turn the cold shoulder like that. especially since he's been so lovely before.
    i dunno, im gutted now though as i actually wanted something to come of it, even tho i said i had doubts/ future plans etc. I don't want to text and ask him though as since he hasn't been texting so frequently and I dont wanna come across as obsessive, clingy or something.
    Saying that, it was him coming on heavy at first...which is something he admitted to when we started texting.
    There were 1 or 2 of passing flirty comments to day on his part, but nothing that held the same spark as previously, and he maintained a stern composure throughout.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by princessnavi22)
    Maybe he's rethinking.. I mean, the age gap is big.. you're old enough to be his daughter, and having full custody of the kids he probably wonders what they will think of it all, let alone his ex wife and family.

    Without being offensive, maybe he thought you were a good idea to start off with.. but then thought practically and decided against it.
    i texted him asking if he was alright, as he seemed distant...and he hasn't replied. i mean that was y'day eve as well. I mean surely if he was doubting the things you say he'd be a bit more direct about it.

    I'm getting dead paranoid now, and i usually am cool. thinking i've said something he's taken offense to in texts, as i tease a lot, particuarly about sex and stuff. or maybe he's got someone else on the line, but i mean after him telling me only 2 wks ago he hadn't, i find that hard to believe. this is annoying me more than i ever thought it would!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by its-like-that)
    i texted him asking if he was alright, as he seemed distant...and he hasn't replied. i mean that was y'day eve as well. I mean surely if he was doubting the things you say he'd be a bit more direct about it.

    I'm getting dead paranoid now, and i usually am cool. thinking i've said something he's taken offense to in texts, as i tease a lot, particuarly about sex and stuff. or maybe he's got someone else on the line, but i mean after him telling me only 2 wks ago he hadn't, i find that hard to believe. this is annoying me more than i ever thought it would!
    Get a new driving instructor.. that'll get him running back!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    "I did say to him at one point i didn't know if we were looking for the same things, given age etc"

    Here lies your problem
    /thread
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Driving instructors are notorious womanisers he has prob got a few of you on a string and he is enjoying himself. Don't fret about him he isn't worth it and get urself a new driving instructor FEMALE THIS TIME !
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 1, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.