I don't love my girlfriend, I feel sorry for her

I've been with my girlfriend for nearly a year and a half now and, as is the way sometimes, I feel the relationship has burnt out on my end. She is still very much into me however I no longer feel sexually or emotionally attracted to her anymore.

My problem is that I actually feel sorry for her. She has a small group of friends however most, if not all, of these friends have boyfriends therefore if I were to end our relationship she would be almost on her own. When I think about this I feel quite sorry for her and obviously decide to back out of ending it.

She's a nice girl but it's hugely unfair on her if feelings aren't mutual. But is her genuine niceness that deters me from actually telling her this because I feel sorry for her. Any advice on what to do?

Reply 1

Liam 09

12

Just think of it this way, it's not nice of you to stay with her, even if your intentions are good.
It would be much better to end it as soon as you can to avoid more pain for her.

Reply 2

Doyle&TheFourFathers

11

bite the bullet man, do it and be honest with her.

Reply 3

mysticalfluffy

20

The sad thing is, I bet you'd dump her then regret it later, when it's too late.

Reply 4

anthropology_app

7

Original post by Ape Gone Insane

You're causing more damage by leading her on. You need to break it off gently so she can move on with her life.

agreeee

Reply 5

Uzzy?

10

Aww that's sad :frown:

but if you lead her on, you're going to have to end it sooner or later. So the quicker the better for her I guess.

Reply 6

idontthinkso

8

I know a guy that is in that exact same position. He's decided to break uo with the girl which I think it's the best decision. As a matter of fact I think it's the ONLY decision. Unless you want to stay with her the rest of your life just because you didn't have the courage to break up.

I'm not saying it's easy. But it's simple.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

To put it bluntly I wouldn't regret leaving her. It is just the way life goes sometimes, she's obviously not the one for me. She is a lovely girl however the spark has burnt out and it has become a very mundane relationship. A relationship where I do not miss or think about her when I'm not with her and when I am with her, I'm simply there to make her happy. I don't enjoy the time I spend with her these days. It may seem rather blunt but that's just the way relationships go sometimes. Not every single one is meant to last 'forever and ever'.

I guess the majority here are right. Ending the relationship is for the greater good. I probably just needed someone to tell me to man up.

Reply 8

bognor-regis

~~Man~~Step Up (to the plate, son)

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

I've been with my girlfriend for nearly a year and a half now and, as is the way sometimes, I feel the relationship has burnt out on my end. She is still very much into me however I no longer feel sexually or emotionally attracted to her anymore.

My problem is that I actually feel sorry for her. She has a small group of friends however most, if not all, of these friends have boyfriends therefore if I were to end our relationship she would be almost on her own. When I think about this I feel quite sorry for her and obviously decide to back out of ending it.

She's a nice girl but it's hugely unfair on her if feelings aren't mutual. But is her genuine niceness that deters me from actually telling her this because I feel sorry for her. Any advice on what to do?

How many guys are there out there that think like you.
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE
Stringing somone along is the worst thing you can do, it ruins there self esteem, stops them from getting on with life, not to mention it makes you unhappy to.

My ex who i was with over two years probably felt

Original post by Anonymous

no longer feel sexually or emotionally attracted

to me anymore really messed with my head cos he strung it out so long and didn't tell me the truth about why it had to end. But the main thing is they stopped me getting on with my life and during our relationship my confidence deflated and he made things worse. I had very few friends at the time but since we split I now have a large solid group of mates and I am allot happier (apart from when I see him, but thats beside the point).

Basically be as honest to her as possible, you are being a dick by being "nice", you may not see it, she might not see it but in the long term its best to just end it. :colondollar:

(goes almost without saying end it face to face, be honest, nice, but don't say you can't do a relationship right now or any of that crap because that is just stringing her along still, be firm that its the end but don't be a prat about it :rolleyes:

)

Reply 10

Lemming69

hmmm very familiar... you know what you need to do mate, just don't beat around the bush as it were, or you'll only make things worse...

Reply 11

When will I know?

9

That's one of the worst kind of relationships to be in... for yourself too, you're just wasting your time.

You feel sorry for her because all her friends have bfs? She'll eventully get over it and find someone else...

Reply 12

Magsam

5

We've all been there mate.

Just end it asap, best for you and her.

Reply 13

dannni93

Just be friends.
Be there fore her when she needs it but be clear about your feelings.

My experience was, after a year of depression, my ex got bored and turned up new years and told me it was over. He was my best and only friend, he hasnt spoken to me since new years. I just wish he'd live up to the whole "lets be friends" thing.

whatever you decide, good luck :smile:

x

Reply 14

Lana_07

2

Everyone is right, don't lead her on. It's not fair.

I had an ex do that to me and I rather he didn't as it would have been easier. She will get over it eventually just don't go back to her because then you will be with her again as you feel guilty!

It's obvious you don't want her anymore, well good luck :smile:

Reply 15

Calumcalum

14

You're in a crap situation, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Although you're not licensed to do whatever you want, bear in mind that you haven't necessarily done anything wrong. I don't know how exactly you'd do it, but I think honesty is best, and is far better than acting off with her and hoping she gets the message. If she asks if you're both OK or if you've gone off with her, it's only fair to be honest.