Guys. Would you want to know? Would you ever be able to forgive me?

So she chose to lie down in bed beside another guy, a guy who had just tried to have sex with her?

Lol.

That might be true. But that doesn't mean every case of unwanted drunken sex is rape.

Obviously when somebody is passed out that is rape. But that is definitely not what has happened here.

If you take the attitude that whenever a girl is drunk and has sex with somebody and realises that it wasn't what she wanted later as rape, an awful lot of casual sex could be defined as rape, it just depends on how the girl feels about it later.

you didnt stop him? thats worse than cheating and getting with somebody ew

I agree, but then would a decent girlfriend get into bed with another guy who had just tried it on with her?

You think rape is worse than consensual cheating?


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That might be true. But that doesn't mean every case of unwanted drunken sex is rape.

Obviously when somebody is passed out that is rape. But that is definitely not what has happened here.

If you take the attitude that whenever a girl is drunk and has sex with somebody and realises that it wasn't what she wanted later as rape, an awful lot of casual sex could be defined as rape, it just depends on how the girl feels about it later.

Stop it, the troll isn't allowed any treats between meals.

No it depends how the girl feels about it at the time not how they feel afterwards. If they don't want it at the time and tell the person to stop, as with the OP, then that is rape.

Also drunk is not the same as so drunk you have to lie down. In that state it is more someone having sex with you than you having sex.

You're still manipulating what she said to suit yourself. She never once said she was so drunk she had to lie down. She said she was drunk, angry and upset and went to sleep it off.

I have been drunk and gone to bed to sleep it off many, many times. Doesn't mean the room was spinning or that I was barely conscious or that I was so drunk I had to lie down.

I guess maybe I am applying my own actions when drunk to this too much, as I would only go and lie down and remove myself from a social situation if it was getting to that point.

I think the main issue though is not that but that she said no and he still did it!

I don't disagree that the guy's actions seem dubious at best (although we're only hearing one side of the story and without much detail).

But in terms of actual relationship, which is what she was initially concerned about, she seems to have acted badly. If I was her bf - besides the severe consequences I would be dealing to the other guy involved - I don't think I'd be able to trust her again and would defo end the relationship.

But this wasn't regretting it later. This was refusing it at the time, and (as far as we can tell from the OPs post - which is all we have to go on in this situation) sexual activity was forced on her when she had already said no to him. Thus, although in this case it's not rape (it would have been if it had been penetrative sex), it is sexual assault.

Edit: I'm interested, though - how do you define rape, since you consider that 'unwanted sex is not rape'?

I guess maybe I am applying my own actions when drunk to this too much, as I would only go and lie down and remove myself from a social situation if it was getting to that point.

I think the main issue though is not that but that she said no and he still did it!

well im sorry but I dont see how he suddanly just shoved it in her mouth without some initiation

She said no earlier. She did not resist at the time. She could have resisted, she was able to resist earlier.

Last weekend me and my boyfriend of 3 months, although weve been dating nearly a year, had a huge fight. Its my first serious relationship and our first fight and i guess i overreacted. Either way i dealt with it in the most immature way possible by going out and getting ridiculously drunk. My female friend and i ended up going back with two guys we know. One of these i have previously given head to but that was a long time before i was with my boyfriend. However we have hung out alone since many times and nothing has ever happened. He has occasionally hit on me but it always seemed jokey so i assumed it was a one off for both of us. My boyfriend knows about this.

However this night i was drunk angry and upset and asked if i could go sleep it off in his bed. I have slept in his bed, and drunk, before which again my boyfriend kniws about. He wasnt happy but he always appreciated the fact i didnt want to leave my friend on her own with two men. Again nothing has ever happened.

This time at some point he came and woke me up getting into bed. He started trying it on with me. He tried to have sex i said no. He kissed me and i pushed him off. I told hin i didnt want him to make me a cheat. He got weird and pissed off i didnt want to do anything but then apologised. I made the biggest mistake and got back into bed. He started gettinf himself off next to me and then, it all happened quite quickly, he was on top of me and in my mouth for about 5 seconds before he finished in me. I did nothig to stop.it. My memory is blurry because of tiredness/drunken but i cant honestly say i did anything to stop him. I dont know why. Ive been drunk before. Ive been angry before.i know neither are an excuse.

I have no feelings for this man. I never want to see him again and i will never speak to hin again. I hate myself for hurting my boyfriend. Hes the most amazing person i have ever met and i love him so much. I have never done anything like this before and i never wi again. My boyfriend was also my first. I have always told him the truth because i hate lying. Sone people say that it is best to not tell him and hurt his feelinngs over a one time thing like this and that he would not want to know. Is that really true? Is telling him selfish just to make my guilt go away because i hate lying? Im so confusef. I never thought i could be a cheat and i have no idea how to deal with the guilt because ive never really done anything 'bad' before? How do i tell him if that still is the right thing to do? Woukd he ever be able to care about me again?

No doesn't mean stick your cock in my mouth in 5 minutes time weirdly enough

You think rape is worse than consensual cheating?


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