How would you respond

Tell him to **** off.
(that's how I'd respond to mine, btw).

It all depends what happened in the relationship.

If you don't want to get back together overall, then I'd ignore. You need space to get over it. Remember, it's not about scoring points.

Well i would. As we really and truly were in love. But then I think of how I've been hurt and his behaviour afterwards when there was the opportunity to get back together that then makes me think no


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Ok, you sound unsure. Remember that when he texts, you don't have to reply rightaway. You can take some time out to think things through, ok, you have every right to do that.

If you decide that, overall, it's not happening again - then cut contact, at least for a while, give yourself a chance to get over him.

However, if you decide on the other hand that there's still something there, that if you can move past certain things he's done (and he can do the same for you, as there is always fault on both sides), and if you think you won't get as good as him again... then you need to open up communication, put your pride away and start fixing things. If he's willing to do that aswell, of course.

... I think deep down you know what's best. It's just a case of being disciplined enough to follow that route, when your ego may want to do something else.

This basically sums up everything I've been thinking!
I spent all night thinking it over thats why he thinks Im ignoring him, but he knows I always have my phone on me and reply straight away, plus hes seen Iv been online so that just makes me think, whats he thinking
You said cut contact, thats what we decided as wed decide to take some space and be friends but end up reverting back.
And I did try to fix things, I text him a while back and his response was he isnt consciously ignoring me, which made me feel like well hes just given up and doesnt care, hence the suprise yesterday.
The thing is, I have been in touch with a few people since. I do want to be with him but thins like him temper stops me, and then I meet someone else who maybe better career wise or sensitivity but then lack see here, so in a way I can do better but also I cant....
Thanks for replying by the way


Posted from TSR Mobile

Okay, overall, I think you want to get over him, but are having a hard time sticking to it. The best thing you can do is tell him 'look, don't take this too hard but I need some time and space away from you. If there's any chance of us being friends in future, it's gotta happen after I move on, and I need time to do that, so please don't contact me again for a while. All the best.'

Then, you simply do nothing. No texts, no calls, no happy birthdays, nothing. It's hard at first but will get easier. It's time to focus on you now.

If only I saw this five minutes earlier
I ended up replying, and as usual somehow turned into an annoyance, whereby he just assumes and says dumb things and then finally he said he messaged to say its cos he misses me but his ego prevented him from doing it before blah blah...
Thanks for the advice xx


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Yeah well it was obvious he misses you, he wouldn't bother contacting you otherwise. But the question was how do YOU feel about HIM.

It's okay, draw the line now. Politely tell him to distance himself so that you can move on (and so can he).

Edit; this is what Im going to send him, its something i wrote in the dear you thread a while back
I loved u, i always have and probably in some ways always will. But, we both know it isn't enough. Your temper and lack of understanding whats important to me messes up things, it tarnishes my blissful moments with you. I could spend the rest of my life with u Adam, trying to keep that smile on ur face, watch the emotions in ur eyes, jus take care of u, create life with u, watch u becm everythn, feel ur presenc nx to me, but I need to leave u b, to achieve all u desire and succeed as i know u shall, i so wish u to be a part of it all, share your sucess with u, share ur happiness but i kno it cant b, I'll only hinder u and get in the way. You've lost your last chance. You've made up your mind and thats it, its clear i annoy u and we both deserve complete happiness. Who could treat u better than i tho, but whateva i do its never enough. Instead of taking the moment and understndng wht i try n say us rather b upset and angry. You say u love me but ur words and actions say otherwise. Sometimes i see your face and i feel so overwhelmed at how i feel for you that it scares me, i hear ur name n it tears me inside, other times i see you and I feel sick and disgusted and angry at you, but still i cant seem to tear away... Jus one touch fm u, an apologetic look and i forgive all. Sometimes i think that u made me happy and made me feel so right and sometimes i think no, u took me for granted and i wasnt a priority... Mayb ul realise this and it'll piss me off bt itl b too l8. I sy i dnt expct nyfn fm u, bt rly it jus hurts wen u dnt do nyfn cz id b willin to do as much as poss for u. Fr me it bcame as simple as we lv each other, theres nt rly any obstacl, so lets b together. but uv been ignoring me, i dont need smone who doesnt need me. But nywys, i can always say, i tried, i did everything i could, so ur the one that chose and did this.

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I know what its like when only one person tries to make the relationship work - its happened to me before. My ex took such a care free attitude and it always extremes with her, never any sort of stability. She never took the time to understand my point of view. In the end, like you I couldn't deal with, but funnily enough she ended dumping me! Ha!

But its really nice to read how much effort you've taken to make it work. Really sweet

Everyone seems to be taking the immature approach to this, no offense.
Obviously it is situation dependent but I think it is stupid to just "ignore" the past.

People change.
Sure you might not date again but it is always good to see how people have changed, and it gives you the opportunity to see what went wrong ... you could learn a lot by talking to someone who used to mean a lot to you.

He just messaged saying;
You think its easy for me to say that? Its as hard for me as it is for u, u knw how i bottle things up.. Ive tried to talk to you but u havent allowed me to, and i think i have a slight right to be rude and condescending after whats happend, and no i dnt like treating u like that but it hurts n it takes time getting over it n the fact that u think its so easy for it to normal again because u think the 'problems' solved gets to me.. U dropped me just like that n expect me to get bak up again with the click of ur fingers.. Not once have you said sorry and no im not looking for an apology its just it seems more trivial to you..
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