A homosexual muslim&#x27;s dilemma.

Original post by KD35

If you know that homosexuality isn't a choice, doesn't that prove that religion is non sense? For you at least?

But it is a choice, or at least a gradual accustoming

Reply 222

Original post by yarshad

You are not alone as other people have demonstrated on this thread :smile:

You shouldn't hate yourself for who you are neither should you change yourself for others.

You can still be Muslim and gay :smile:

just obviously without any sexual actions.

You are a good person and open minded, you've gone through a lot and it's time to start accepting be optimistic and with regards to what others think of you, their thoughts should be taken out of the equation :smile:

PM me if you want :smile:

Just stay strong and know you're not alone!

You do realise that you are not even allowed to look at a woman with lust? So you are not allowed any gay thoughts, without them how do you know you are gay? This way of thinking is based on western kafir values and not the deen

Reply 223

rehmanrad

Gay Muslim?......Vegetarian that eats meat?

Reply 224

Original post by timetopretend

hey, i'm a homosexual girl. however i'm not religious.
in my opinion, i can imagine that you're really trapped. i'm open-minded when it comes to religion, and i don't know a thing about islam but i don't think you should feel bad about who you are.

being gay is 100% not a choice, it IS natural. whether people like it or not you were most certainly born this way. religion, however is a social construction (bare that in mind)

i don't think you should leave islam. everybody has the right to have a faith. you are who you are. you were born this way and you should be proud, regardless of what others may say about being a muslim homosexual. lying about your identity and hiding this forever could cause major depression if you conform to a traditional life/marriage.

if i was religious, i'd think my god would love me however i am, because i was created this way. imagine being with someone you really love, you could be so happy.

never betray yourself.

YOU WEREN'T BORN THAT WAY you saying the opposite over and over again to make yourself feel better doesn't make it true. I'd love someone to show me single shred of evidence that ppl are born gay, esp. When most gays give a rough time post puberty when they 'realised' they we gay. ROFL.

Reply 225

LiamMcMorrow

9

Well, Im homosexual and I am by choice.

Reply 226

KD35

15

Original post by Harrie Lyons

But it is a choice, or at least a gradual accustoming

Well if he feels like he didn't choose homosexuality, then it's not a choice for him.

Reply 227

generallee

16

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you so much for your response.

My parents will Never be open minded about it, and I'm not even talking about anything sexual or relationship wise, just the fact that I'm attracted to men will most likely make everyone hate me, even though I never chose to be this way. Most of my family and family friends are extremely islamic minded in this topic, which I find hypocritical as they are not so extreme in other topics.

I would never tell my friends that I am homosexual. Some of them have vehemently opposed it, calling it a fetish and the others don't understand the issue however, both groups would out me instantly. Since I'm not out to them, I feel like that I'm betraying them, in a way, as they don't know who I Really am, and on top of that betraying myself.

Feelings of loneliness and helplessness have lead me down to how I'm feeling.

You Can be gay and muslim, however you risk the punishment of Allah on the day of judgement.

What a dreadful dilemma. An acquaintance of mine has just come out as a gay muslim and his mother didn't talk to him for three whole weeks after he told her. The extent of her narrow mindedness and bigotry towards HER OWN SON beggars belief.

Hopefully she will overcome her prejudice. So so sad.

It seems to me that the core of your problem is the sentence I highlighted. This is what you need to work through.

As long as you believe that, you will be faced with a no win situation. If you are concerned that Allah will condemn you "on the day of judgement" for making love to another man, and send you to everlasting hell for it, then obviously the rational thing is not to do it. To sublimate it.

That would be to deny your very essence. Your sexuality.

Yet do what gays do in this society, fall in love, make love, have a committed relationship, and all the time you will be looking over the shoulder at breaking the commands of this celestial dictator. Terrified of going to hell for being true to yourself, to your desires.

As I say you can't win.

UNLESS you are able to throw off this belief system. It is easy for me to say that there is no God, there is no hell, and this life is all you have so make the most of it.

Harder for you to challenge what has been taught to you, as dogma.

Until you come to realise how ridiculous it is that any God should be so concerned about our sexuality, and how impossible religious teaching is to follow, as it so goes against the very essence of human nature, you are going to be profoundly unhappy.

Start questioning what you have been taught. Ask yourself how likely some of the teachings really are. Explore the theory of evolution, and contrast it with what God is supposed to have said on the subject. Ask yourself, is it more likely that man made God, (in so many different ways, all over the world, in all ages!) or did God really make man?

And if there is a creative force, which there might be, how do we know he /she / it is benevolent anyway? Is making your life a misery by forbidding you from living your life with honesty and to the full, really benevolent? Why would you worship such a god. What is there to actually worship?

Meet some gay people and talk this through. Read some books like "The God Delusion."

You really have tough times ahead. I feel for you, and hope you find a way that allows you live your life without this dreadful religiously induced fear and guilt, abouyt sex, that most wonderful of human experiences.

All I can say is that is is tremendously liberating to break free from the superstition of religious belief. But I understand that you can't see that, and may never see it. In which case I think you have live the lie. If you are unwilling to have love affairs because of your fear of god punishing you for it, there seems to me no reason why you should tell anyone. I would keep quiet for ever.

Follow your heart, my friend. Follow YOUR heart. Not what someone else tells you to do. It is your life not theirs. That would be my advice.

The best of luck, anyway, whatever you decide to do...

Reply 228

Original post by Anonymous

(Before I begin, I just want to say that I know the stance of homosexuality within Islam and it's rulings and that I do adhere to my religion and no, homosexuality is not a choice).

I am a gay muslim and wanted to get some advice. Apart from 2 people, no one knows that I am gay. Trying to reconcile my homosexuality with Islam has been hard, to say the least, and it doesn't help that I have hardly anyone to talk to about this, hence why I am making this thread.

What can I do to reconcile with myself, instead of going into a pit of depression, anxiety and self hatred, which I am slowly going into? Telling anyone within the family or the muslim community would be social suicide and I would treated as someone with an incurable highly infectious disease. Any advice would be appreciated, particularly from any other gay muslims.

Hey!
I was like this at a point in my life. If you insist on believing in a religion that tells you you're wrong and will burn in hell for being yourself, these are your options:

-Keep the acceptance of your Muslim community by pretending you're straight. This'll prove difficult because sooner or later they'll expect you to get married. If you remain 'single' in their eyes whilst dating men, they could try to arrange a marriage for you/set you up. This could prove massively difficult.

- If you're old enough, leave the community and set up a life where you can have your faith and sexuality. This is the simplest option because you'll be able to live openly and no one will expect a certain standard of behaviour from you.

-Tell your family and expect to be alienated from them. There's a chance they could grow to acknowledge or support your decision but it WON'T be the same as it is now.

I'm no longer Muslim. I made this decision a long time before I realized I was attracted to both genders. Once I stopped being religious, I embraced the Western lifestyle, which was a huge problem for my mother. It resulted in constant fighting on her part because she was still in denial of what I was. I tore my family apart because of the way I dressed, who I was friends with and my interests. If I could go back, I would have hidden my true self from my mother until I could leave. The honesty was a relief but not worth the impact it had on my family.
Point is, people find it hard to accept a lifestyle they're raised to despise. It's just what happens. It'll be even worse for you if you're part of a close-knit community.

I don't recommend you rid yourself of faith as it's a part of you. It would be the equivalent of me telling you to be heterosexual.

Reply 229

hamza1394

3

Original post by Ashahedow

Hey!
I was like this at a point in my life. If you insist on believing in a religion that tells you you're wrong and will burn in hell for being yourself, these are your options:

-Keep the acceptance of your Muslim community by pretending you're straight. This'll prove difficult because sooner or later they'll expect you to get married. If you remain 'single' in their eyes whilst dating men, they could try to arrange a marriage for you/set you up. This could prove massively difficult.

- If you're old enough, leave the community and set up a life where you can have your faith and sexuality. This is the simplest option because you'll be able to live openly and no one will expect a certain standard of behaviour from you.

-Tell your family and expect to be alienated from them. There's a chance they could grow to acknowledge or support your decision but it WON'T be the same as it is now.

I'm no longer Muslim. I made this decision a long time before I realized I was attracted to both genders. Once I stopped being religious, I embraced the Western lifestyle, which was a huge problem for my mother. It resulted in constant fighting on her part because she was still in denial of what I was. I tore my family apart because of the way I dressed, who I was friends with and my interests. If I could go back, I would have hidden my true self from my mother until I could leave. The honesty was a relief but not worth the impact it had on my family.
Point is, people find it hard to accept a lifestyle they're raised to despise. It's just what happens. It'll be even worse for you if you're part of a close-knit community.

I don't recommend you rid yourself of faith as it's a part of you. It would be the equivalent of me telling you to be heterosexual.

In regards to expectation of marriage I agree its totally wrong because you would be wrecking the life of another perfectly innocent girl. I just believe that if you are to embrace your sexuality with the faith then just cut urself off your original community and live separately probably in a new city...I'm not gay but am a Muslim and realize that our culture is unbelievably naiive and backwards about sexuality...why would a muslim be gay by choice and so it must be something else and parents have to act as anchors and not icebergs or else they will drown their own kids lives.

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Reply 230

Lol you speak the truth without wanting to. I rejoice in your accusation of 'bigotry' btw makes me feel all warm inside

Reply 231

Why do ppl take drugs when its illegal and it will ruin their life (as for example my father) ppl are stupid. Just as long as they get their pleasures.

Reply 232

Original post by hamza1394

In regards to expectation of marriage I agree its totally wrong because you would be wrecking the life of another perfectly innocent girl. I just believe that if you are to embrace your sexuality with the faith then just cut urself off your original community and live separately probably in a new city...I'm not gay but am a Muslim and realize that our culture is unbelievably naiive and backwards about sexuality...why would a muslim be gay by choice and so it must be something else and parents have to act as anchors and not icebergs or else they will drown their own kids lives.

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That's like saying 'what Muslim would be a thief by choice, there must be other factors'

Reply 233

My point is drugs are stupid but people still do it. Being gay is stupid and pointless but people still do it. People are stupid.

Reply 234

OedipusTheKing

11

Original post by Harrie Lyons

My point is drugs are stupid but people still do it. Being gay is stupid and pointless but people still do it. People are stupid.

How is it pointless if the couple love each other? :lolwut:

Reply 235

username925822

Watch eastenders syeds storyline, maybe it might help,,,

Reply 236

Hey I ain't the one getting hung in Iran because I can't stay away from other men. You'd think out of self preservation they wouldn't be gay

Reply 237

Original post by hamza1394

In regards to expectation of marriage I agree its totally wrong because you would be wrecking the life of another perfectly innocent girl. I just believe that if you are to embrace your sexuality with the faith then just cut urself off your original community and live separately probably in a new city...I'm not gay but am a Muslim and realize that our culture is unbelievably naiive and backwards about sexuality...why would a muslim be gay by choice and so it must be something else and parents have to act as anchors and not icebergs or else they will drown their own kids lives.

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If I were him, I'd opt for leaving. It's the simplest option. For the most part, Muslim communities are tolerant until someone among them believes different. It's one thing respecting people's choices and a whole other thing when someone close to you is not what you thought they were. He cannot prepare himself for the way his family and friends will react.

Reply 238

Original post by Harrie Lyons

YOU WEREN'T BORN THAT WAY you saying the opposite over and over again to make yourself feel better doesn't make it true. I'd love someone to show me single shred of evidence that ppl are born gay, esp. When most gays give a rough time post puberty when they 'realised' they we gay. ROFL.

Give me evidence proving that we're all born heterosexual.

Reply 239