Guys: which are you more likely to stay with?

OP

Original post by Mike9910

So you think that girl 1 is the best option? I would agree with you if so. It's far easier for someone's personality to change to your liking than it is for an ugly girl to become good looking. Also considering most of us here are young the long term viability of a relationship is not necessarily a concern. Girl 1 sounds much more exiting than the boring but amicable average girl. This scenario is also slightly contrived: it's usually the good looking girls who have the best personalities, they do after all get treated better by the world, surely this must have a positive impact on how they see and treat others. I marvel at the vivaciousness, achievements and adorable vibe exuded by beautiful women you see interviewed in the backstages of beauty contests. Medical students, engineers and brilliant scholars galore. Beauty is correlated with intelligence after all. Being beautiful is the best advertisement possible that you're a good person. I trust a beautiful face. I think we all do: which is why beautiful people are used by the media to sell things. Beautiful people represent everything good about this world. They deserve our respect, if only for the fact they make us happy - by simply existing. Imagine waking up in the morning, looking into the mirror and just knowing you're beautiful. If I was beautiful I'd spend all day gazing at myself in the mirror, things like going to work or studying for uni would be a piercing disturbance to my self infatuation that I'd detest. Then again, being beautiful would probably become mundane after awhile: all things do. I'd swap all my money, education, friends, family and life experience for just a single day living as girl 1.

Haha always good to check in on what Foo thinks... Mate he's not that successful only with 12 year olds on here :biggrin:

. And he was born wealthy.

I wasn't talking about just now whilst we're young... I was talking about staying with them long term. That's when she turns wrinkly and old.

Come on you're setting yourself up for a great fall if you're putting these 'beautiful' girls on such a pedestal. Pretty girls are traditionally always the bitches in films and other media roughly based on real life. Bitchiness and thinking of yourself as above others is a cop out it's easier than being nice, being nice requires thought, consideration and effort.

Intelligence has no correlation with beauty, none. In fact a lot of beautiful people don't bother flexing that muscle because they don't need to, they rely on their looks for gains.

I also think you're sounding like you actually want to be these girls which is like some weird kind of vagina envy so that Foo can mount you... Don't be so sucky it's not attractive.

Reply 84

Cremated_Spatula

15

Original post by Anonymous

Ooo a bit loose there are we ��...

No, I'm a virgin lol. I'm just being honest.

Reply 85

Original post by TorpidPhil

Shame you don't wear your personality on your face right?

If you did then guys would go for number 2, problem is how will they ever know that the slightly less attractive girl has a worse personality in the first place? They have to initiate with every single girl that exists. Maybe those good-personality girls should get some confidence and approach the guys first and then the guys would realise that they're actually awesome people, which in turn makes them view the girl as even more attractive than she already is and yeah, it's a win.

Actually personalities are written on the face - the hormones that shape our faces also shape our personalities. You can bet that square jawed, heavily built, muscle man is probably not going to be a shrinking violet, even if you've never met him or spoken to him before!

But you bring up a good point: in a real life setting the less attractive girl will be overlooked for the more attractive girl - after all, if you have a bad personality you're not going to advertise the fact! I guess this is the problem ugly, nice guys face - they never get a chance to show their personalities to women - sharing someone's personality is an intimate activity and you don't get intimate with someone until you're attracted to them. If you can't create that initial attraction then no one will ever get to know your personality, however good it is.

Which is why I say looks are the first thing you should work on if you're struggling with dating - looks will at least get you to first base and give you lots of chances to cultivate something more. Eventually things will click if you're given enough chances - which looks will buy you.

Reply 86

Higherdude

13

I would go for girl 2 every time.
I rather date a girl who I enjoyed being with and actually had fun with. I would hate to sit around with someone who was boring and didn't share any interests with me. I don't really judge girls on how they look externally (its more like a bonus if they are pretty) to me.
I rather have a girl who is mature and actually understands themselves. I would love a girlfriend with a nice attitude.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 87

OP

I think the mods are having a bit of fun with my post there I did not make the additions reply to mikey take two...

Haha always good to check in on what Foo thinks... Mate he's not that successful only with 12 year olds on here :biggrin:

. And he was born wealthy.

I wasn't talking about just now whilst we're young... I was talking about staying with them long term. That's when she turns wrinkly and old.

Come on you're setting yourself up for a great fall if you're putting these 'beautiful' girls on such a pedestal. Pretty girls are traditionally always the bitches in films and other media roughly based on real life. Bitchiness and thinking of yourself as above others is a cop out it's easier than being nice, being nice requires thought, consideration and effort.

Intelligence has no correlation with beauty, none. In fact a lot of beautiful people don't bother flexing that muscle because they don't need to, they rely on their looks for gains.

I also think you're sounding like you actually want to be these girls which is like some weird kind of vagina envy so that Foo can mount you... Don't be so sucky it's not attractive.

Reply 88

Original post by Anonymous

Haha always good to check in on what Foo thinks... Mate he's not that successful only with 12 year olds on here :biggrin:

. And he was born wealthy.

I wasn't talking about just now whilst we're young... I was talking about staying with them long term. That's when she turns wrinkly and old.

Come on you're setting yourself up for a great fall if you're putting these 'beautiful' girls on such a pedestal. Pretty girls are traditionally always the bitches in films and other media roughly based on real life. Bitchiness and thinking of yourself as above others is a cop out it's easier than being nice, being nice requires thought, consideration and effort.

Intelligence has no correlation with beauty, none. In fact a lot of beautiful people don't bother flexing that muscle because they don't need to, they rely on their looks for gains.

I also think you're sounding like you actually want to be these girls which is like some weird kind of vagina envy so that Foo can mount you... Don't be so sucky it's not attractive.

Ok, so maybe you are a long-term planner, and it's hard for you to be circumspect about your situation - planning for your relationships to be long term when you're so young is, IMO, a forlorn strategy. Most relationships don't last, especially the early ones in our lives.

I don't want to be with an old, wrinkly woman -ever. So I guess your perspective doesn't apply to me. When my partner gets old I will trade up to a young woman using my money, status and education for as long as I can. When I can no longer attract young women I will voluntarily stay alone rather than date old women.

It's just personal differences speaking here I suppose. Perhaps we will both be happy and there's no right way of doing things.

Well I think beautiful girls are used to portray bitches because they're objects of envy -envy does solicit strong emotions, which is what movie makers want. IMO this doesn't reflect real life. In my own experiences,the beautiful people I have known have been gorgeous, inside and out.

Intelligence does have a correlation with beauty. It's been proven by science. IRRC on average beautiful people have are 15 IQ points higher than average people, which amounts to a whole standard deviation above average and is quite a significant difference if you think about it.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201012/beautiful-people-really-are-more-intelligent

I want to be attractive not necessarily a girl. But yes on my hierarchy of envy a beautiful girl is above an average man. I'm not sexist. :cool:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 89

yo radical one

6

Original post by Schrödingers Cat

Great post :tongue:

I don't know about that... ass and titties are pretty damn great..

If you thought that was gay then I'm glad you haven't seen my other posts :K:

I have to ere on the side of caution on TSR in terms of girls now due to my gf :yep:

But surely you agree with me that you number 1 girl is for banging on a ONS and number 2 for relationship no?

I could not disagree more.

If there is one thing a woman absolutely does not want to hear, it's that she is the stable choice, that she is just standard in terms of looks, but has a nice stable personality and that is why you love her :facepalm2:

A woman wants to drive you wild, your lust is precious to her and if she does not make you feel that lust, there can be nothing with her.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 90

Original post by Higherdude

I would go for girl 2 every time.
I rather date a girl who I enjoyed being with and actually had fun with. I would hate to sit around with someone who was boring and didn't share any interests with me. I don't really judge girls on how they look externally (its more like a bonus if they are pretty) to me.
I rather have a girl who is mature and actually understands themselves. I would love a girlfriend with a nice attitude.

So I'm guessing you're single atm? And out of choice? It seems not from your yearning to find a girlfriend.

And besides, who says the vacuous bitch can't be allot of fun? Bad boys are seen as attractive to many women, I don't why why bad girls can't have the same allure.

I've dated a few dumb, nasty blonde types and they're actually really fun to be around. Just see the relationship for what it is, don't get attached, don't invest too much money or time, and distance yourself emotionally & personally and you'll be fine.

The average girls are always going to be around if you want to settle down later.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 91

Higherdude

13

Original post by Mike9910

So I'm guessing you're single atm? And out of choice? It seems not from your yearning to find a girlfriend.

And besides, who says the vacuous bitch can't be allot of fun? Bad boys are seen as attractive to many women, I don't why why bad girls can't have the same allure.

I've dated a few dumb, nasty blonde types and they're actually really fun to be around. Just see the relationship for what it is, don't get attached, don't invest too much money or time, and distance yourself emotionally & personally and you'll be fine.

The average girls are always going to be around if you want to settle down later.

I am still at high school haha.
I've never had a girlfriend actually or even kissed a girl.
I am looking for the right girl; i am really fussy when it comes to girls as i don't want to get into something that doesn't mean anything to me or her; pointless isn't it :P.

Reply 92

aligbutt

Girl with attractive personality of course. Outer beauty does not last forever. What matters is the inner beauty of a person which definitely stays forever, even improves in the long run. Hence, the relationship will be more true in the long run.

Reply 93

Europhile

2

Original post by Anonymous

Yes science dictates it but only for the purposes of creating new life once that's done such is life nowadays that we live long enough to become old and wrinkly and exist that way for many years/decades... And so what about when the babe turns unrecognisable and old?

No offence but your responses here are exactly why I'd choose the better looking person, number one. Better looking people usually don't try to claim they have an amazing personality to make up for their lack of aesthetic beauty. I often find that people who aren't that good looking try to pass of the fact they have an amazing personality in comparison to better looking people when in reality they don't and its all a facade. On top of that, this attempt at justification alone exhibits insecurities that the person may have and that is not an attractive feature at all.

I'd choose number one because they are better looking, they are more likely to be confident and less likely to be insecure resorting to trying to convince others of their great personality when in reality there isn't much difference and they're less likely to need constant validation or reassurance in a relationship. I've often found that better looking women are far more independent, confident in themselves and carry themselves in a much more authoritative and respectable demeanour.

Reply 94

Original post by Higherdude

I am still at high school haha.
I've never had a girlfriend actually or even kissed a girl.
I am looking for the right girl; i am really fussy when it comes to girls as i don't want to get into something that doesn't mean anything to me or her; pointless isn't it :P.

Hmm, that is strange then you ascribe so much idealism and rosiness to your notions of what relationships are meant to provide.

When I was your age I just wanted to bang as many girls as I could. I lost my virginity to a girl whose name I can't even remember and perhaps never knew. I've never suffered for it.

Perhaps your fussiness is getting in the road of things? Some experience is better than no experience when it comes to girls, and the experience you do get will help you maintain the relationships that you actually care about.

Experience with girls, even if it's not the perfect experience, will also help you feel more independent, mature and confident around women - which are all positive things in terms of personal development.

It's all up to you I suppose.

Reply 95

Original post by aligbutt

Girl with attractive personality of course. Outer beauty does not last forever. What matters is the inner beauty of a person which definitely stays forever, even improves in the long run. Hence, the relationship will be more true in the long run.

Personality does not last forever either, in fact it arguably changes more often and more in terms of breadth than your looks do. Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? Probably not.

There's also the fact we die. Your personality has a finite lifespan just like your looks do. Nothing lasts forever and the fact your looks have a limited lifespan is not a terminal argument towards the value of being beautiful.

If the average lifespan for a human is 75 years and your looks last until you're 45 then we're still talking about the majority of your life where your looks could improve your life. It certainly seems like a good idea to invest in your looks: for example your career or marriage will probably not last 45 years.

And how much longer do you think your personality lasts than your looks? Even if you stay senile for your whole life, the difference between the longevity of your personality (75 years) and your looks (45 years) is not that significant if you consider the early years of your life - where looks matter more than personality - are typically the most valuable and pleasurable.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 96

OP

Original post by Europhile

No offence but your responses here are exactly why I'd choose the better looking person, number one. Better looking people usually don't try to claim they have an amazing personality to make up for their lack of aesthetic beauty. I often find that people who aren't that good looking try to pass of the fact they have an amazing personality in comparison to better looking people when in reality they don't and its all a facade. On top of that, this attempt at justification alone exhibits insecurities that the person may have and that is not an attractive feature at all.

I'd choose number one because they are better looking, they are more likely to be confident and less likely to be insecure resorting to trying to convince others of their great personality when in reality there isn't much difference and they're less likely to need constant validation or reassurance in a relationship. I've often found that better looking women are far more independent, confident in themselves and carry themselves in a much more authoritative and respectable demeanour.

I'm not offended, you have no idea what I look like or how I behave in real life. I definitely don't fit neatly into either of the groups I stated in the OP and I imagine most girls won't, I just wanted a starting point for a little discussion.

I think it depends what you want out of life. If you want warmth and love then you'll be inclined towards the persons personality and the looks will be a bonus of course everyone has a cut off point in both regards.

I think insecurity is present in any relationship because the fact of the matter is there's always someone 'better' looking/with more money etc. We could all go on a wild goose chase and never stop if we didn't feel like it.

Some people are hardened and goal orientated and that spills over into every area of their life including their relationships. One thing I will say though is I cannot imagine making 'love' to this person, it just feels cold. I would feel like a reward for hard work, like an ambition rather than any mutual exchange and adoration.

Reply 97

OP

Original post by Mike9910

Ok, so maybe you are a long-term planner, and it's hard for you to be circumspect about your situation - planning for your relationships to be long term when you're so young is, IMO, a forlorn strategy. Most relationships don't last, especially the early ones in our lives.

I don't want to be with an old, wrinkly woman -ever. So I guess your perspective doesn't apply to me. When my partner gets old I will trade up to a young woman using my money, status and education for as long as I can. When I can no longer attract young women I will voluntarily stay alone rather than date old women.

It's just personal differences speaking here I suppose. Perhaps we will both be happy and there's no right way of doing things.

Well I think beautiful girls are used to portray bitches because they're objects of envy -envy does solicit strong emotions, which is what movie makers want. IMO this doesn't reflect real life. In my own experiences,the beautiful people I have known have been gorgeous, inside and out.

Intelligence does have a correlation with beauty. It's been proven by science. IRRC on average beautiful people have are 15 IQ points higher than average people, which amounts to a whole standard deviation above average and is quite a significant difference if you think about it.

IQ is a test of nothing more than how well you will pass tests...so te received understanding of intelligence. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/iq-tests-are-fundamentally-flawed-and-using-them-alone-to-measure-intelligence-is-a-fallacy-study-finds-8425911.html

Also read up one my reply to Europhile

Reply 98