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My dad came home wasted

My 9 to 5, straight edge father. He is usually about as far from alcoholic as one can get. A glass of wine with a meal is the most he would drink and that's when he was with guests. I mean we have liquor in our house that my mum and dad never touch. It's solely for guests.
Anyway tonight he got home wasted out of his mind. Barely spoke properly and fell asleep on the toilet. My poor mum is devastated and so are my brothers and myself. He even ****** drove home drunk. I mean I can't wrap my mind around that. He's always been rational and calm and collected and an example to everyone. And now this. I just can't imagine what went through his mind as he drank a glass after glass while still sober. I'm sure he'll be an apologetic mess tomorrow but I's scared there's no coming back from this. He really messed up. Not sure if mum will ever forgive him. Anyway, just felt like sharing.

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Talk to him while he's sober, find out why he drinks and explain to him how it makes you feel. best of luck.

Don't confront him when he's been drinking, that only makes matters worse.
Reply 2
Original post by Nicholas Nelson
Talk to him while he's sober, find out why he drinks and explain to him how it makes you feel. best of luck.

Don't confront him when he's been drinking, that only makes matters worse.


He doesn't habitually drink. I'm pretty sure this is the first time he got drunk in 20 or so years.
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
My 9 to 5, straight edge father. He is usually about as far from alcoholic as one can get. A glass of wine with a meal is the most he would drink and that's when he was with guests. I mean we have liquor in our house that my mum and dad never touch. It's solely for guests.
Anyway tonight he got home wasted out of his mind. Barely spoke properly and fell asleep on the toilet. My poor mum is devastated and so are my brothers and myself. He even f*cking drove home drunk. I mean I can't wrap my mind around that. He's always been rational and calm and collected and an example to everyone. And now this. I just can't imagine what went through his mind as he drank a glass after glass while still sober. I'm sure he'll be an apologetic mess tomorrow but I's scared there's no coming back from this. He really f*cked up. Not sure if mum will ever forgive him. Anyway, just felt like sharing.


I don't condone the drink driving. But maybe, just maybe he had a really stressful day at work. Just a thought, so cut the bloke some slack.
Original post by Anonymous
My 9 to 5, straight edge father. He is usually about as far from alcoholic as one can get. A glass of wine with a meal is the most he would drink and that's when he was with guests. I mean we have liquor in our house that my mum and dad never touch. It's solely for guests.
Anyway tonight he got home wasted out of his mind. Barely spoke properly and fell asleep on the toilet. My poor mum is devastated and so are my brothers and myself. He even f*cking drove home drunk. I mean I can't wrap my mind around that. He's always been rational and calm and collected and an example to everyone. And now this. I just can't imagine what went through his mind as he drank a glass after glass while still sober. I'm sure he'll be an apologetic mess tomorrow but I's scared there's no coming back from this. He really f*cked up. Not sure if mum will ever forgive him. Anyway, just felt like sharing.


A bloke is allowed to get pissed once in a while if he wants but **** me this is twattish.
sending you my love op
if it seems too out of character, and you think this is the beginning of something, sort it out quickly.
And I mean it. If you think this is going to become a thing, and become a lot worse be stern, and stop it, stamp it out.
Try to make a more objective judgement on the matter though, to see if this is necessary.

Otherwise, I don't know what to say.
try not to overreact, obviously the fact he drove is absolutely NOT okay but you shouldn't draw any conclusions, it might be that he wakes up and decides not to drink for the next 20 years he is so full of regret... try and approach it gently with him and find out why he drank, there's probably a reason and with proper support there's no reason to think he will keep drinking
Just because he got drunk your mum will leave him? Are you religious by any chance?

The only bad thing about this is the drunk driving tbh
Reply 9
Original post by Schrödingers Cat
Just because he got drunk your mum will leave him? Are you religious by any chance?

The only bad thing about this is the drunk driving tbh


A family man getting drunk at 48 and coming home to his wife and kids is pathetic, religion aside. Especially when he's thought us moderation in everything our whole life.
Original post by Anonymous
A family man getting drunk at 48 and coming home to his wife and kids is pathetic, religion aside. Especially when he's thought us moderation in everything our whole life.


Yeah thought you were religious.

Irrelevant, parents have to have fun too you know! Either that or he was blowing off steam probably because he has a 9-5 job and he's bored of his family? Who knows there may be many reasons why he got drunk but judging him without asking him won't do any good
Something triggered this out-of-character behaviour.

Don't confront him or be angry with getting drunk or why he drove home drunk. I'm certain he will feel bad enough and hate himself for doing both when he sobered up.

What matters is why he got drunk in the first place. Perhaps it's a cry for help? Whilst not condoning his hugely irresponsible driving home drunk in any way, his family needs to be supportive and get to the bottom of why he got drunk and address the cause not the symptom - which after all is the most important thing to prevent any escalation and trauma further down the line.

Men are allowed to be human and all humans are flawed and fallible in one way or another.
Maybe he wanted to have a good time lol

OP why you hatin on a playa?
(edited 8 years ago)
OP I'm amazed that your reaction to this is anger rather than concern. Why would a usually abstinent guy suddenly get so drunk?
There's nothing wrong with drinking, there's no need to demonise it just because it's out of character for him to partake. "There's no coming back from this" is a very naive way of viewing it. He didn't kill anyone, he just got pissed. Give him a break.

Give him hell for driving whilst drunk though, that was real moronic of him.
Original post by e aí rapaz
OP I'm amazed that your reaction to this is anger rather than concern. Why would a usually abstinent guy suddenly get so drunk?

I guess I'm not that mad he got drunk but that he drove drunk. He knows if he was to die in an accident my brothers and mum wouldn't have a house to live in or money for education.
Also he knew how much it would upset my mum and still did it. And I think their relationship has been shaky even before this.
Original post by Schrödingers Cat
Yeah thought you were religious.

Irrelevant, parents have to have fun too you know! Either that or he was blowing off steam probably because he has a 9-5 job and he's bored of his family? Who knows there may be many reasons why he got drunk but judging him without asking him won't do any good


I'm not. How does me saying religion didn't have anything to do with it imply I'm religious?
You sound like an alcoholic mate....
Original post by Anonymous
I guess I'm not that mad he got drunk but that he drove drunk. He knows if he was to die in an accident my brothers and mum wouldn't have a house to live in or money for education.
Also he knew how much it would upset my mum and still did it. And I think their relationship has been shaky even before this.


you could always get a job at uni. Like the rest of us lmao.

Original post by Anonymous
I'm not. How does me saying religion didn't have anything to do with it imply I'm religious?You sound like an alcoholic mate....
millions of people in this country go to pubs and clubs and get drunk lol. Doesn't mean theyre alcoholic.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not. How does me saying religion didn't have anything to do with it imply I'm religious?
You sound like an alcoholic mate....


Alright

You sound boring mate
Original post by Anonymous
I guess I'm not that mad he got drunk but that he drove drunk. He knows if he was to die in an accident my brothers and mum wouldn't have a house to live in or money for education.
Also he knew how much it would upset my mum and still did it. And I think their relationship has been shaky even before this.


Yeah, all pretty worrying behaviour then. And so out of the ordinary.

So even more reason why I'd be concerned! Have you asked him why he did it?

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