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Just told my mum I'm vegan and she went absolutely mad.

So I'm in year 13, was a vegetarian, and have wanted to become a vegan for ethical reasons for a couple of years now. The main reason I didn't become one until recently is because I feared my mum's and grandma's reactions.

I decided that I didn't want to wait until moving out at uni, so started secretly eating vegan 4 days ago. Tonight though, me and my mum went into a pizza shop to order one, and I had to ask for one without cheese right in front of her.

She got so angry about how it was a waste of money and stormed off. In the car she was ranting about how my hair will fall out, calling me thick etc. She still won't speak to me now and rang my grandma ranting about this. She made me promise not to be vegan until I move out at uni so now I'm stuck. What should I do?

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Original post by simbasdragon
So I'm in year 13, was a vegetarian, and have wanted to become a vegan for ethical reasons for a couple of years now. The main reason I didn't become one until recently is because I feared my mum's and grandma's reactions.

I decided that I didn't want to wait until moving out at uni, so started secretly eating vegan 4 days ago. Tonight though, me and my mum went into a pizza shop to order one, and I had to ask for one without cheese right in front of her.

She got so angry about how it was a waste of money and stormed off. In the car she was ranting about how my hair will fall out, calling me thick etc. She still won't speak to me now and rang my grandma ranting about this. She made me promise not to be vegan until I move out at uni so now I'm stuck. What should I do?


i know she is ur mum but in my opinion i think she is being childish. i see nothing wrong with you being vegan its not the end of the world
Keep to your promise.

Although I don't think you should have made it, you did, so stick to it otherwise you may hurt your mums feelings.

Besides, after you go to uni and you live as a vegan, and your mum sees you are still alive, she may soften.

And wtf who doesn't have cheese on a pizza?
Original post by Phoebe Buffay
Keep to your promise.

Although I don't think you should have made it, you did, so stick to it otherwise you may hurt your mums feelings.

Besides, after you go to uni and you live as a vegan, and your mum sees you are still alive, she may soften.

And wtf who doesn't have cheese on a pizza?


Vegans don't, obviously

They are by nature forbidden to eat all animal products.

Do you even know what being a vegan entails?
Original post by simbasdragon
So I'm in year 13, was a vegetarian, and have wanted to become a vegan for ethical reasons for a couple of years now. The main reason I didn't become one until recently is because I feared my mum's and grandma's reactions.

I decided that I didn't want to wait until moving out at uni, so started secretly eating vegan 4 days ago. Tonight though, me and my mum went into a pizza shop to order one, and I had to ask for one without cheese right in front of her.

She got so angry about how it was a waste of money and stormed off. In the car she was ranting about how my hair will fall out, calling me thick etc. She still won't speak to me now and rang my grandma ranting about this. She made me promise not to be vegan until I move out at uni so now I'm stuck. What should I do?


give her the evidence, science and truth about veganism. take her to your doctor. Print of pictures of healthy vegans and say mum do you want me to look like these healthy meat eaters? she should Yes! then say they are really vegan !
Reply 5
Original post by Phoebe Buffay

And wtf who doesn't have cheese on a pizza?


Dairy industry is just as bad as the meat industry.

Unless you are religious there is literally zero point in being vegetarian. Go vegan or eat a normal diet. There can be no middle ground if 'ethics' is your priority.
Original post by candycaneland500
i know she is ur mum but in my opinion i think she is being childish. i see nothing wrong with you being vegan its not the end of the world


She is quite immature in that way. Once she's decided something in her mind, she will not change that view.
No to be honest I have no idea.

I was just more surprised by the fact that they wanted pizza anyway. Without cheese, it's sort of not a pizza anymore


Original post by Baigne
Dairy industry is just as bad as the meat industry.

Unless you are religious there is literally zero point in being vegetarian. Go vegan or eat a normal diet. There can be no middle ground if 'ethics' is your priority.


Interesting. I have absolutely no idea how bad the dairy industry is to be honest.
older people like your Mum & Nan were brought up to eat what was put in front of them.
Original post by Phoebe Buffay
Keep to your promise.

Although I don't think you should have made it, you did, so stick to it otherwise you may hurt your mums feelings.

Besides, after you go to uni and you live as a vegan, and your mum sees you are still alive, she may soften.

And wtf who doesn't have cheese on a pizza?


I wish I hadn't, but she was absolutely furious, threatening to kick me out etc. Hopefully, although I know that if I ever get a cold or lose a bit of weight from not eating as much chocolate she will immediately blame the veganism.
Listen to your mum.
When you are 18 you can make your own decisions
Original post by Phoebe Buffay
No to be honest I have no idea.

I was just more surprised by the fact that they wanted pizza anyway. Without cheese, it's sort of not a pizza anymore




Interesting. I have absolutely no idea how bad the dairy industry is to be honest.


Well, now you know; vegans can't have any animal product whatsoever, vegetarians just can't eat meat but can eat pretty much everything else.

I guess without cheese it would be more like a tomato garlic bread but with pizza toppings and base. Still nice. Certainly more healthy.
Original post by Baigne
Dairy industry is just as bad as the meat industry.

Unless you are religious there is literally zero point in being vegetarian. Go vegan or eat a normal diet. There can be no middle ground if 'ethics' is your priority.


But if you're bothered about sustainability, there is a point.
http://shrinkthatfootprint.com/food-carbon-footprint-diet
http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10584-014-1169-1
There is very little difference in your carbon footprint between vegetarianism and veganism
Original post by the bear
older people like your Mum & Nan were brought up to eat what was put in front of them.


That's true. However, she is vegetarian herself now, she's genuinely convinced that I will end up in hospital if I'm a vegan.
To be honest I think your mum is being extremely unfair. You're an adult meaning you're more than capable of making a decision about your life.

If this is something you want to do then I say stick to it. By doing so it might show your mum how strongly you feel about this and might soften her to the whole idea of it. NEVER back down to something you're passionate about.
Original post by simbasdragon
I wish I hadn't, but she was absolutely furious, threatening to kick me out etc. Hopefully, although I know that if I ever get a cold or lose a bit of weight from not eating as much chocolate she will immediately blame the veganism.


Threatening to kick you out...for coming out as a vegan? Wow. Well all I can suggest is that you wait it out until uni.
Reply 16
B...but meat is yummy in my tummy...

She's just worried you won't get enough calcium, minerals and vitamins so get some supplements that are vegan to reassure her you'll be okay.
Original post by Phoebe Buffay
Threatening to kick you out...for coming out as a vegan? Wow. Well all I can suggest is that you wait it out until uni.


She gets very irrational about a lot of things. I assume that she thinks it involves starving yourself as her friend a few weeks ago was telling her about how her daughter was vegan and developed an eating disorder.
Original post by AzimH
B...but meat is yummy in my tummy...

She's just worried you won't get enough calcium, minerals and vitamins so get some supplements that are vegan to reassure her you'll be okay.


I understand this, but when I list which vegan foods have loads of calcium etc she just rolls her eyes and goes 'I'm sure,' not taking me seriously. But thanks fkr the suggestion :smile:
Say that you really believe in this but you also realise you need to make sure you're healthy, so tell her you really need her support in this

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