Guys, do you feel insecure when your girlfriend is making more money than you?

Original post by The Socktor

Good, he's quite clearly better off without you.

He'd have bailiffs at his door if asking for money he owes if it wasn't for me.

He'd have been sitting in an empty room pawning all his stuff if it wasn't for me.

He'd be arguing with his parents everyday when they ask him where his money is going and he genuinely doesn't know, if it wasn't for me.

He'd have no way of getting to work if it wasn't for me giving him petrol money.

I treated him to a nice hotel for his birthday , and he was so happy he cried and thanked me a million times. Never been treated so well..wants to marry me ..blahblahblah.

I've done up his CV so he sounds like Lord Sugar - his interview technique isn't great which is why he hasn't got much so far... but we are working on that.

I do nothing but support him.

Explain how he's "better off" without me? lol

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 62

Anonymous #1

Nah I couldn't care less. It's actually nice because then we can build an empire together :pierre:

Reply 63

Original post by Dheorl

Advice? Ok, spare this guy your horrible brand of "morality", tell him what an awful person you are and maybe give him a bit of your immense wealth for wasting his time.

lol, I never said once that I'm wealthy. I just have more money than him.

Watch when we grow up and we have a budget wedding, small shack mobile home, sitting in the dark and cold not paying for electricity or heating because he wants to "go half" and not wanting me to pay. I feel like not even looking towards career progression, considering that my money won't even be used.

Damn ridiculous in my opinion.

Reply 64

Original post by stargirl63

lol, I never said once that I'm wealthy. I just have more money than him.

Watch when we grow up and we have a budget wedding, small shack mobile home, sitting in the dark and cold not paying for electricity or heating because he wants to "go half" and not wanting me to pay. I feel like not even looking towards career progression, considering that my money won't even be used.

Damn ridiculous in my opinion.

Seriously, do the guy a favour and break up with him...

Reply 65

donte

14

nah, i quite like the sound of a Sugar Mama. :biggrin:

Reply 66

Original post by Dheorl

Seriously, do the guy a favour and break up with him...

Why? I don't know what I've said that's so horrible that he's better off without me.

Like I said above, he'd be living in an empty room pawning all his stuff if it wasn't for me helping him. I LIKE to help him...but it's only when things get really bad that he accepts help.

Reply 67

The Socktor

18

Original post by stargirl63

Explain how he's "better off" without me? lol

Assuming he even exists and you're not making this all up, at least he could be with somebody who actually appreciates him.

Reply 68

Original post by stargirl63

Why? I don't know what I've said that's so horrible that he's better off without me.

Like I said above, he'd be living in an empty room pawning all his stuff if it wasn't for me helping him. I LIKE to help him...but it's only when things get really bad that he accepts help.

If you don't see in what way everything you've said is just wrong, then I'm not even going to try. Just trust me, he'll be better off without you.

Reply 69

Original post by Dheorl

If you don't see in what way everything you've said is just wrong, then I'm not even going to try. Just trust me, he'll be better off without you.

lol I wonder...imagine I break up with him, then he's the same person I pass on the underground busking, not knowing when his next meal is because he has pawned everything he owns. Things could be so different if only he would let it.

Reply 70

Original post by stargirl63

lol I wonder...imagine I break up with him, then he's the same person I pass on the underground busking, not knowing when his next meal is because he has pawned everything he owns. Things could be so different if only he would let it.

This is genuinely what you think of you boyfriends abilities?

Reply 71

ron_trns

11

Original post by stargirl63

I can see why you would think this. However, I don't believe material things would cement our relationship - I'm just saying it would be nice if we could go since I can afford it. Like I said before...I would like to experience these things myself. It's like I am being held back by him for being successful. Someone saying you can only spend 50% of what you earn... What's the damn point?Put it this way, we went to Paris in September. I wanted to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower. He didn't have any money to go, and didn't want me paying for him...so we ended up not going. Stuff like this pisses me off.Explain to me why I'm selfish considering I try and offer to pay for him?

This honestly sounds like a bit of an excuse, my girlfriend has done similar things when she was poor. Of course people do this, they are being polite. You just buy the ticket when they aren't looking and go do it, it's not even expensive. I really doubt he would get angry at this he will probably feel you really care about him. Bottom line is I have went from earning 4 times my girlfriend, to her earning 20% more and it hasn't really effected our relationship much at all.

Yes we can afford really nice things now, yes I'm proud of her for what she's done. I've never considered myself a stupid person but this is the first time I've probably dated someone a level above me and I have absolutely no problem with it... because she has absolutely no problem with it either. It just hasn't changed my overall opinion of her, she was great before it and she's the same person after it.She doesn't have any bitter feelings about it, even if someone hides these things they are extremely easy to pick up on especially if you've been dating a long time. You also seem to be underestimating your boyfriend slightly...

Reply 72

Original post by Dheorl

This is genuinely what you think of you boyfriends abilities?

He can prove me wrong any day. I BEG him to prove me wrong.

Should money matter?

Original post by ron_trns

This honestly sounds like a bit of an excuse, my girlfriend has done similar things when she was poor. Of course people do this, they are being polite. You just buy the ticket when they aren't looking and go do it, it's not even expensive. I really doubt he would get angry at this he will probably feel you really care about him. Bottom line is I have went from earning 4 times my girlfriend, to her earning 20% more and it hasn't really effected our relationship much at all.

Yes we can afford really nice things now, yes I'm proud of her for what she's done. I've never considered myself a stupid person but this is the first time I've probably dated someone a level above me and I have absolutely no problem with it... because she has absolutely no problem with it either. It just hasn't changed my overall opinion of her, she was great before it and she's the same person after it.She doesn't have any bitter feelings about it, even if someone hides these things they are extremely easy to pick up on especially if you've been dating a long time. You also seem to be underestimating your boyfriend slightly...

I suppose maybe I should have done it as a "surprise" but men tend to respond differently to this type of stuff than women. I don't want to do things for him and undermine him. He likes to "do things for himself, and learn for himself" ...but that requires patience, and a lot (and expensive) load of mistakes. I don't like telling him what to do...especially when i know the gaps and know where he should and shouldn't spend...but it's hard when you have someone headstrong, who has grown up thinking "men look after women" ...so it's hard for him to accept that it can be the other way around sometimes.

Seems like you and your gf have chopped and changed in terms of who is earning more, which is great. No relationship would earn the exact same. But either way, you're still on the same level to spend. It's not like one can afford a substantial amount more than the other person, which is the place I'm in - not even through what we earn, but more what we spend money on. I have asked him a lot why is it that he earns less than me, but I see him spend more than me...and he just says he "wants to have fun" or just shrugs.

Reply 75

Original post by stargirl63

He can prove me wrong any day. I BEG him to prove me wrong.

So you're going out with someone who you don't think is capable of being more than a beggar?

See, this is why he's better off without you.

Reply 76

Original post by Dheorl

So you're going out with someone who you don't think is capable of being more than a beggar?

See, this is why he's better off without you.

If you knew his financial situation, you would know why I say the things I say.

Reply 77

Siberiaan

21

Original post by stargirl63

I'm a girl, and I'm in a situation now where i earn more than my bf. It's okay.

He likes to pay for me, so I suggest to go to cheap places - Nandos, Zizzi etc.

We go half when it's big sums of money like holidays etc.

HOWEVER...it's madly frustrating for me. For example, when I would like to go on holiday to Barbados, when he can only afford to go to Paris. When I want to get a nice all inclusive hotel, but he would want a B&B. Or for example, when I would like to spend a nice day going to a fancy dinner with my bf, but he can't afford it (even if we go half). So I end up not going, or going to the "romantic" dinner with one of my friends...which sort of defeats the point.

I also feel very very guilty when he does want to "treat" me...and it costs him half his savings and I see him struggle for the rest of the month. But then, he feels guilty when I pay for him.

It's difficult tbh. I try not to tell him my frustrations, but at the moment, it's costing me - We are looking at moving into a flat together. I can buy a flat, I have the deposit money ready to put down. He has basically no savings, and is suggesting to rent for the time being. I'm saying that renting is a waste of money especially when we (I mean me) can afford to buy a flat, and renting is throwing away our deposit money for nothing. He says he can't buy a flat now, so lets rent. Why should I rent and waste my money paying landlords mortgage just because he has a **** job.

It's so damn annoying. I'd prefer to date someone who was on the same level as me.

You sound like a right dickhead , hope he leaves you.

Reply 78